Elephant Flings Shit At Zoo Goer


What a fuckin’ diva Babar is! Oh you don’t want your picture taken so you fling your own shit at people taking your picture? I don’t know if you noticed but there’s literally 3 people there to see you. You’re not the big deal everyone came to the zoo to see. Everyone knows people go to the zoo to see the gorillas and lions…the real animals. Enjoy smelling the shit on the end of your nose for the rest of the day!

Side note: Do you think anyone in this guy’s family believed him when he met back up and explains that an elephant personally chose him to be it’s Jackson Pollock canvas?

Drunk Guy Tries To Play With Curious George At Zoo [Graphic Video]


Joao Leite Dos Santos thought it might be fun to play with the monkeys at the Sorocaba Zoo near Sao Paulo. Dos Santos, not expecting aggressive behavior from the animals, hopped a short fence in order to get closer, while many bystanders stood back laughing or videotaping the incident. According to the AP, he was drunk at the time he approached the spider monkeys. In the graphic video it’s apparent that the encounter didn’t end well for the mechanic. The monkeys quickly assessed him as a threat, and easily bit him on the arm and hand, causing severe bleeding. As MyFoxNY points out, he’s lucky the monkeys didn’t want to get into the water, or his fate could have been much worse. Park officials eventually removed the man from the pen and transported him to the hospital (he was eager to leave after the attack), but it’s unclear if any charges will be brought against him, or if the pain of injury was enough.

Why do people always think that just because certain animals look cute, they are harmless? And where are the goddamn moat crocodiles when you need them? They are wild animals and there is a reason they are in a closed pen with a frickin’ moat surrounding them. Just go ask the chick on Oprah who had her face eaten off by her pet ape.

Gotta love the cooperation by the monkeys here though. Check out how the bigger one acts as an anchor and holds the little guys tail while he flails at the drunk asshole who is trying to snuggle with them like a little kid going to bed. Serves you right. You try to play with the wild animals and you’re going to get your arm gnawed on and rescued by a bunch of guys in Osh Kosh jeans.