Needless To Say, Stay Out Of The Subway If You’re Going To Brazil For The World Cup


Sao Paulo – As a claustrophobic person I can tell you that this is my ultimate nightmare. Not sure how far that drop is over the side of the balcony but I would certainly contemplate jumping. If this is what the subway looks like a couple weeks prior to the World Cup then I don’t even want to imagine what it will look like come the first game. Forget a terrorist bomb–getting crushed to death would be my main fear!



I’m Calling Bullshit On The Guy Escaping Out The Window Caught Cheating

DailyMail: In a stunning example of a soap opera come to life, a video has surfaced from Brazil that depicts the hilarious struggle of a man attempting to escape a cheating woman’s bedroom after her husband has come home. And it’s out a third story window. As the drama begins, a husband and wife are seen arguing on the third-floor patio of an urban apartment building.


Not a chance. No way this guy got caught by chica’s husband and had time to tie sheets together to scale a window while the fire department shows up with mats for him to jump onto like this is a regular occurrence. Just doesn’t happen in real life. No idea what it would be a publicity stunt for but I’m not buying this is a real thing.

Little Boy Dies, Comes Back To Life At Funeral, Promptly Dies Again

Daily Mail: A two-year-old Brazilian boy, Kelvin Santos, stopped breathing during a treatment for pneumonia and was declared dead at 7:40pm on Friday. His body was handed over to his family in a plastic bag, and the devastated family took him home where they held a wake for him. Throughout the night the little boy’s body laid in an open coffin, but an hour before his funeral was supposed to take place on Saturday, the boy apparently sat up in his coffin and said: “Daddy, can I have some water?”. Unfortunately the “miracle” was short lived, because shortly after waking, the little boy laid back down, just the way he was. The family could not wake him, and he was dead again. The father rushed his son back to the Aberlardo Santos hospital in Belem, and doctors reexamined the boy, but unfortunately confirmed that he had no signs of life. The family decided to delay the funeral for an hour in the hope that he would wake up again, but ended up burying him at 5pm that day in a local cemetery.


You gotta be kidding me with this one! Miracle, shmiracle. How you suppose to bury this kid if he’s gonna snap out of it an hour later asking for milk and cookies? Hey Kelvin, make up your goddamn mind. You can’t just keep coming back from the dead asking for petty things!

Brazilian Road Rage At It’s Best


It always pisses me off when I’m stuck in traffic and motorcycles get to creep right thru like a game of Frogger. I’m sure that’s what’s going on here and the lady couldn’t take it anymore so she had some choice words for this guy. I dunno what he’s all bent outta shape for? He doesn’t have to sit in the traffic and coulda been on his merry way but instead has to kick the one van with the psycho soccer mom in the driver’s seat.

Pretty sure this guy shoulda been dead about 3 different times but that has to be the worst feeling for this chick when she rams a parked car only to find him still pounding on her window.

Drunk Guy Tries To Play With Curious George At Zoo [Graphic Video]


Joao Leite Dos Santos thought it might be fun to play with the monkeys at the Sorocaba Zoo near Sao Paulo. Dos Santos, not expecting aggressive behavior from the animals, hopped a short fence in order to get closer, while many bystanders stood back laughing or videotaping the incident. According to the AP, he was drunk at the time he approached the spider monkeys. In the graphic video it’s apparent that the encounter didn’t end well for the mechanic. The monkeys quickly assessed him as a threat, and easily bit him on the arm and hand, causing severe bleeding. As MyFoxNY points out, he’s lucky the monkeys didn’t want to get into the water, or his fate could have been much worse. Park officials eventually removed the man from the pen and transported him to the hospital (he was eager to leave after the attack), but it’s unclear if any charges will be brought against him, or if the pain of injury was enough.

Why do people always think that just because certain animals look cute, they are harmless? And where are the goddamn moat crocodiles when you need them? They are wild animals and there is a reason they are in a closed pen with a frickin’ moat surrounding them. Just go ask the chick on Oprah who had her face eaten off by her pet ape.

Gotta love the cooperation by the monkeys here though. Check out how the bigger one acts as an anchor and holds the little guys tail while he flails at the drunk asshole who is trying to snuggle with them like a little kid going to bed. Serves you right. You try to play with the wild animals and you’re going to get your arm gnawed on and rescued by a bunch of guys in Osh Kosh jeans.