It’s one of the lifelong questions but I’m throwing in a twist. Would you rather…
Die by being burned alive
Fall through ice in the middle of the night but you live with permanent brain damage?
Imagine what this musta smelled like?! Just a million more of these public suicides and India’s population will be down to a trillion.
-Thanks to Erica for this one!
EliteDaily: A Syrian Catholic priest was reportedly beheaded by Islamic jihadists in front of a cheering crowd in northern Syria. According to Daily Mail, the death of 49-year-old Franciscan Father Francois Murad has been confirmed by the official Vatican news agency. Video taken from a camera phone that supposedly shows the beheading is currently circulating the internet. Murad had been living in the convent of the Custody of the Holy Land before Islamic jihadists, who may be using weapons originally supplied to organized Syrian rebels by the U.S., captured and killed him on June 23 in Gassanieh, Syria. From Catholic.org: “Syrian terrorists have beheaded a Catholic priest who they accused of collaborating with the Assad regime. Those accusations have not yet been verified.” It has not yet been confirmed that beheading was the actual cause of Murad’s death. The attack on the monastery Murad was staying at was staged by Jabhat al-Nusra, a group associated with al-Qaeda that Fides News Agency describes as “the most aggressive and successful arm of the rebel force.” In the video, three men, one whom is reported to be Murad, are seen sitting on the dusty grass. The man believed to be Murad is sitting cross-legged with his hands bound. He is then pulled forward and laid face down on the ground as the crowd chants “Allahu Akbar” (Arabic for “God is Great”) while taking photos. The man is decapitated by what looks like a common kitchen knife. The latest reports from the Syrian Civil War, which has taken over 100,000 lives, feature President Bashar al-Assad’s forces engaging in a furious fire fight with Sunni rebels defending the mostly-Sunni city of Homs. Mohammad Mroueh, a member of the Sunni opposition “Homs Crisis Cell” said that at least 25 loyalist troops, including four Hezbollah fighters, were killed in Homs in the last 24 hours. The opposition Syrian National Coalition (the guys we give food, weapons and health supplies to) said in a statement that Assad may use chemical weapons on the Sunni defenders “after the regime’s campaign on Homs failed to achieve any important results.”
At first I wasn’t really sure why I was posting this. Then I thought to myself, this is real life. Like this is as normal as cutting grass to these extremist fucks which is horrifying. I’m not gonna lie I had to shut the video off half way through but I’m gonna guess by the end there were 3 heads rolling around in the dirt? Fuck these people and their bullshit ways of going about things! Catholic or not, no one deserves to go out like this except for the very people doing it.
Gothamist: A man was fatally struck by a train in Williamsburg last night. According to police, the 51-year-old man was struck by a Queens-bound G train at the Broadway station near Broadway and Union Avenue. The man was found DOA at the scene just after 8 p.m. Police said they did not believe him to be a victim of a crime, but could not say whether his death was an accident or suicide. This appears to be the 31st subway fatality of 2013, and at least the 79th person struck by a train. NYC is on pace to exceed the 2012 totals, when 141 people were hit by trains, and 55 were killed.
And just like clockwork there’s our subway fatality of the week. We are now averaging 1 subway death every 6 days. NYC is on pace to crush last year’s numbers and if you’re curious to see a 7 second vine of firefighters responding last night CLICK HERE.
There aren’t many things I would choose that could be worse than getting crushed by a NYC subway train. I have no idea what the outcome of this was but if we’re going off of the commentator’s words…he dead.
All I could do was laugh at some of these because of these crazy Russians’ reactions. Like I’m not sure if you know this but you just almost died, dude. Go buy a lottery ticket or something!
You are 35 years old and have the ability to know that you will die at age 60 in a terrible car accident (there’s nothing you can do to change this).
Would you rather…
Have the ability to erase the age/cause of death but lose the ability to know the fate of your future (could die earlier, could die later and cause of death could be better or worse)
Just live your life to the fullest knowing at age 60 you will die in a terrible car accident?
DailyMail: A tiger killed its trainer during a circus performance in northern Mexico, it emerged today. Footage posted on YouTube purportedly shows the trainer, American Alexander Crispin circling two tigers during his act for Circo Suarez in Sonora state. One of the animals then lunges towards the 35-year-old and pulls him to the ground.
There are few things in this world that will never change. Porn will never go out of style, the Kansas City Royals will never win a World Series, and meat eating animals will always eat meat. This is imperative to remember when trying to teach a hungry Bengal tiger to jump through hoops for a crowd of young children. I’m not saying the guy deserve…well yea…that’s actually what I’m saying. You play with fire and you get burned, you play with tigers and you get your face eaten off. Life.
UPDATE: Here is a picture of the trainer. I was wondering what Janosz from Ghostbusters was doing with his career.
This Manti Te’o shit is so fucked up that I don’t even know where to begin! All I do know is guess who wins out of this whole thing? Yea, the other fuckin liar who has a special coming out tomorrow with Oprah. Great timing! I’m sure Oprah and her struggling OWN network is ready to kill someone right now. They’ve been jacking up this interview all week and along comes some football college punk to make Lance’s admission look like a white lie.
Everyone keeps asking me what the story is and to be honest it’s like the first time I watched Inception. I have no idea. I’m gonna need to read up on this about 10 more times until I even get an idea of what’s going on. All I know is something along the lines of a fake girlfriend on Twitter that Te’o talked to on the phone at night and for some reason told people he met her when he never did. Straight up Hollywood movie script writing itself in front of us right now. If you care to read about the story I posted the link below. Have fun and explain it to me in a week when you understand it!
Side note: How fitting is Manti Te’o for the New York Jets all the sudden with all this negative media attention and drama. I think the 9th pick just got locked up in this year’s draft.
HuffPost: A Washington woman is accused of using her breasts to smother and kill her boyfriend after an altercation at their mobile home. Donna Lange, a 51-year-old woman from Everett, Wash., is believed to have suffocated her boyfriend to death with her breasts on Saturday, Jan. 12, according to Seattle’s KIRO 7 Eyewitness News. Deputies, called to the Airport Inn trailer park at 12:45 a.m. for a disturbance report, found medics performing CPR on Lange’s 51-year-old alleged boyfriend, who was later pronounced dead at Swedish Hospital. Kiro 7 reports that witnesses claims they saw Lange throw her boyfriend down in the back of the mobile home. She was later found by witnesses with her chest covering the victim’s face. Police noted the size difference between Lange and her boyfriend — she was 5-feet, 6-inches and 192 pounds, he was 5-feet, 7-inches and 175 pounds.
There’s only a couple ways I would approve of leaving this world. 1) Die in my sleep 2) Heart attack from intense sex with some international supermodel. Maybe I’ll throw in death by wrestling a grizzly bear with my bare hands in the middle of a hurricane just because it sounds badass. But I’ll tell you what a total bullshit way of going out is. Falling between subway cars while taking a shit or getting smothered in my double wide by Honey Boo Boo’s mom’s floppy tits. What kind of man allows this kind of shame to happen to him? I know, a dead one, but I mean you’re telling me there was no possible way for this guy to get this bitch off him? I get she was of the portly kind, but still you’re 175 lbs and an inch taller. There’s gotta be more to this story still to come like the guy was motorboating and didn’t say the safe word “BUTTER” or something.