3-Year Old Wakes Up In Coffin At Her Own Funeral

 

Gawker: A three-year-old Filipino girl pronounced dead last week did a strange thing at her funeral ceremony yesterday: she woke up. The Philippine Star reports on the incident, which was publicized after a video of the funeral went viral and confirmed by the local police department: [Police inspector Heidi] Teelan said while they were not the proper authority to confirm the medical case, but based on the accounts of the child’s parents, the 3-year old girl experienced severe fever for days and was brought to the clinic in the town for medical attention last Friday. “During that time, the attending clinic personnel and physician confirmed that the young patient had no more pulse and was clinically dead last Saturday morning about 9 a.m.,” Teelan said. An attendee saw the unnamed girl’s head move while arranging the coffin. Someone then checked the girl’s pulse and found that she was alive. The girl was given water, taken back to a medical clinic for evaluation, and returned to her family home. According to Teelan, the police “can not make confirmation on the status” of the girl, but believe she remains “in a state of comatose” at the house.

Well that was a close one, huh? I guess thankfully they’re not embalming bodies in the Philippines either. Pretty sure this is how superheroes are created–or shit, maybe the villains too.

Horny Dolphin Skull Fucks A Dead Fish [NSFWish]

 

Never thought you’d read that title, huh?

This is just further proof that dolphin are red blooded mammals who just need to get a nut off every once in a while. This thing actually reminds me of myself around age 14-15. Just humping everything within reaching distance. A headless fish? Don’t mind if I do! It’s even got the same cum face.

Side note: Is this like the downie version of a dolphin? What the fuck is up with the way this thing looks?

 

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Leave It Up To The NY Post To Release This Cover On Their Paper This Morning

doomed

Gawker: A freelance photographer working for the New York Post on an unrelated assignment happened to be standing on the 49th Street station platform when 58-year-old Queens resident Ki Suk Han was suddenly pushed onto the tracks by an as-yet-unidentified assailant. The photographer, R. Umar Abbasi, snapped at least two photos of Han before he was run over by the downtown Q train. The married father-of-one sustained critical injuries and was later pronounced dead at Roosevelt Hospital. One of the haunting photos Abbasi took graces the front page of the Post this morning, incurring the ire of readers who want to know why no help was extended to the injured Han in lieu of capturing the moment for posterity. Abbasi claims that he was using his camera’s flash to warn the train’s conductor, possibly suggesting that the photos were incidental. The Post further defends Abbasi, saying he wasn’t strong enough to lift Han off the tracks.

Here is the fight moments before the accident:

Picture 6

 

Nothing like waking up and grabbing a paper to see Glenn from The Walking Dead about to get lit up by an incoming Q train. I have a feeling that Umar Abbasi was trying to alert the conductor as much as the 9/11 terrorists were trying to safely land those planes, but that’s just me. Gotta love New Yorkers though, right? Guy falls onto the tracks and everyone pulls out their iPhones to snap pictures like Asians in Times Square. Ki Suk Han may not have been saved but at least there will be enough pictures to create a flip book of the entire incident. And I don’t know what the pre-push argument was over, but no one deserves to be pushed onto the subway tracks…with a train coming…at 25 MPH…weighing a cajillion tons.

 

 

The Outlawz Smoked Tupacs Ashes!

 

New York City is notorious (no pun intended) for their weed delivery service. Dealers show up on bikes or cars and always have about 20 different kinds of bud on them. Of course each one has a new, different name that they came up with on their way over. It’s actually fun to hear how creative they can sometimes get. Afghan Cush, AK-47, Northern Lights, Green Crack, Grand Daddy Purp, OG Cush, etc. etc. Now I’m not sure how I would handle the situation if he showed up and said “yo I got that Tupac. No, really it’s fuckin’ Tupac. I got his ashes after they cremated him.” Um, call me crazy but I think I’ll pass on the Tupac this time Jerome. Not really into the whole ‘smoking people’ thing but even if I was, it wouldn’t be Tupac. Bring me some of that Biggie or if you really wanna make some money, get me some of that Snoop once he’s smoked himself dead. And don’t tell me Pac is running through your body my man. Everyone knows it takes a month for that shit to get out of your system.

You know what REALLY shocked me? Was the part where they said “we went down to the beach and did some shit he liked like weed, chicken wings, you know he loved orange soda…” No shit? I actually played a game where I stopped the clip right when he said “we did some shit he liked..” and tried to guess. What would you know I was 3 for 3. Kinda reminded me of the Dave Chappelle skit when he talks about black people being genetically predisposed to like chicken. And all along he thought he liked it just because it was delicious!