Posts Tagged ‘poop’

Mother Films Baby For First Smile, Kid Doesn’t Disappoint

Posted: February 28, 2014 by subwaycreatures in Funny
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You wanna constantly stick a camera in my face to capture the “first” of everything I do? Well go ahead, here’s my first ‘shit beyond my diaper into Mommy’s lap.’ Put it in the books!

Side note: Not only was that impressive but it sounded like when they implode those casinos in Las Vegas from a distance. Well done my friend!

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Looks like today is ‘record my kids fail’ day so I’m gonna keep posting them up as long as you parents keep taping them. 1) Honey, learn how to shut the door when you’re taking a shit so you’re brother’s not holding your hand through the whole process. I understand your fury of not being able to see your poop but lock the door and you won’t have this problem again.  2) How fuckin’ confused do you think this 2-year old kid is?! You finally teach him how to properly use a toilet like an adult and now his sister is having a meltdown because he did the right thing. “Brother, did you flush the toilet?” Hell yea I flushed the toilet! You’ve been giving me presents all week for doing just that and now I’m the bad guy?? Screw her and her poop meltdown, now gimme some ice cream!

 

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Not gonna lie, probably the last person I would expect to be doing this but I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go, right? How much must this guy love his wife that he’s ready to play cool and stand guard for her while she Lincoln logs it in the elevator. I’m giving her a failing grade for location (glass window elevator with cameras), an F for execution (that wipe is atrocious), but an overall A+ to that husband for his sticking by his wife through good times or bad. If my future ex-wife ever pulled this off I’d be in my car peeling out before her shit hit the ground.

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Would You Rather…

Posted: April 4, 2013 by subwaycreatures in Would You Rather
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Would you rather…

Be at the top of a very high water slide and the person in front of you shits on their way down and you have to follow them up immediately

Picture 24

OR

Turn around and walk 50 stories back down to the bottom and you’re wet and it’s freezing outside?

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Kids are so cute, huh? That is until they leave a trail of shit down the water slide like Haley’s Comet. Seemed like the parents looked around and just quietly walked away too. Just let nature takes it’s course and recycle that same water throughout the entire water park. Ladies and gentlemen, proof of patient zero in the water park contagion…

poop subway CSC

Gawker: This is a weird one. A man was killed Tuesday afternoon after he fell from a moving subway train onto the tracks. But how did he fall, you ask? He was shitting between cars, as one does, when he apparently slipped, plunging to one of the more shameful deaths imaginable. Tragic and terrifying, although perhaps less so – if only because of the pooping — than two other recent subway deaths. Making things somewhat confusing, there was apparently a separate incident at the same subway station just before the fatal accident. According to the NYPD, a bloody man with a broken pelvis and “severe buttocks injuries” was found on the opposite platform after he mysteriously emerged from the tracks. The man, who police identified as Manuce Dulcio, didn’t know how he got there or what had happened to him, although police noted he was very drunk. Police initially said the two men had been fighting, although that turned out to be false. Instead, it was just your standard death-by-pooping/mysterious-drunken-injury incident, which is all too common these days.

 

Shitting between subway cars, huh? Kind of ironic that this guy had too much pride to do what all the other hobos do and shit his pants IN the subway car, yet dies covered in shit with his pants around his ankles. Yea he put a lot on the line, like his life, but sometimes a man’s dignity outweighs all consequence. Dude was probably reading about Carmelo Anthony and Honey Nut Cheerio-gate in AM New York when the 6 train took a sudden turn for the worst. Speaking of nuts, the fact that this is the 4th insane death in the subway in less than 30 days makes me feel like I should start rollerblading to work. Yea right, rollerblades are gay!

Side note: FYI – I seriously own a pair of rollerblades

And Now For Your WTF Video Of The Week

Posted: October 2, 2012 by subwaycreatures in Music, WTF
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Well if they were looking for a gross viral video, they may have got it. Why is this a thing?

Elephant Flings Shit At Zoo Goer

Posted: September 21, 2012 by subwaycreatures in Funny
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What a fuckin’ diva Babar is! Oh you don’t want your picture taken so you fling your own shit at people taking your picture? I don’t know if you noticed but there’s literally 3 people there to see you. You’re not the big deal everyone came to the zoo to see. Everyone knows people go to the zoo to see the gorillas and lions…the real animals. Enjoy smelling the shit on the end of your nose for the rest of the day!

Side note: Do you think anyone in this guy’s family believed him when he met back up and explains that an elephant personally chose him to be it’s Jackson Pollock canvas?