Posts Tagged ‘Philadelphia’

Could This Be The Greatest Abortion Ad Of All Time?

Posted: April 6, 2016 by subwaycreatures in WTF
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Fuckin’ SEPTA in Philadelphia…

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Drunk Lady Gets Dragged Off SEPTA Train

Posted: January 7, 2016 by subwaycreatures in Uncategorized
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PhillyMag: On January 27, 2014, at approximately 10:30 am, police responded to 500 West Lehigh Avenue for an auto accident. Upon their arrival officers observed a vehicle on the curbside of the southwest corner of 5th & Lehigh Avenue. The male operator was seated in the driver’s seat of a 2007 Silver Camry with no shirt on. The male was asked to step out of the vehicle and when he, did the male was unable to stand on his own. His clothes were torn off and he was unable to respond to police questions. Witnesses to the accident stated that the male was operating his vehicle west on Lehigh Avenue and then veered across the intersection at 5th Street and drove on to the curb hitting a fixed object. After the accident,the male operator exited the vehicle and began removing his clothing and yelling. He then attempted to drive off; however, someone was able to remove the keys and hold them until police arrived. The operator was identified as 34 year old ######### from Pennsauken, New Jersey. He was charged with Driving Under the Influence; no injuries reported.

 

Let’s be honest here, is anyone surprised this story came out of the City of Brotherly Love? This is the same city where baseball fans intentionally puke on each other and boo Santa Claus at halftime. Just a classy bunch of people. Getting day drunk, hitting a pole, stripping to salsa music and publicly spreading your asshole in an intersection is probably one of the lesser crazy things I’ve heard out of Philly.

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Some of you might recognize Kacie McDonnell. She’s not only the hot weather girl down in Philadelphia, but she was also named Smoke Show of the Year on Barstool Sports a few years back. About a month ago I posted a blog about the hottest girlfriends and wives of college quarterbacks and I was scratching my head why I couldn’t find one for Aaron Murray. Not gonna lie, the guy is a good looking dude. Now I know. He was just holding out for Kacie McDonnell. Makes so much sense. Oh yea…too bad Aaron’s getting Christian Ponder’s sloppy seconds.

 

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Check Out This Guy Tweaking On Drugs In Philly

Posted: September 17, 2013 by subwaycreatures in Dumb
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Must be the Molly! Give him milk! What??? Guy couldn’t be more off. There are two things that make people act this way and Molly is not one of them. PCP or bath salts. Now throw bath salts into Molly and yes, you’ll probably be crab walking across the street in Philly but otherwise you’re just blatantly making things up.

Side note: Why can’t black people say the word ambulance? That blows my mind.

WFMZ: New video has surfaced of a Berks County man fleeing police and jumping into the path of a moving train. The cell phone video was captured by a 69 News viewer and details exactly what happened on the train tracks late Friday night in Spring Township. According to police, the man in the video is Nevin Walls, and he was fleeing from a uniformed officer. Just before midnight Friday, police were called after Walls, 31, wearing only boxer shorts, was acting disorderly in the 2200 block of Penn Avenue. Walls ran into the parking lot at the Redner’s Quick Shoppe and started screaming and yelling, police said. Then, he got into a car with a woman and child and demanded she drive away, said police. When an officer attempted to get in the vehicle, Walls ran up the embankment, raised his hands and jumped toward the approaching train, said police. “Anybody that knows him knows he wasn’t in a right mental state,” said Shaine Pachilis, who has been friends with Walls for more than 15 years. Pachilis claims Walls suffers from severe mental problems. Remarkably, he did survive. He was found lying between the rails and taken to Reading Hospital. According to Pachilis, he’s since been transferred to the University of Penn in Philadelphia.

 

Well that turned into an easy arrest. There’s gotta be nothing scarier than being a cop and getting the call that a crazy is running around the 7-11 parking lot in his boxers. You could literally see that cop stalling for time when Looney Toons tried to carjack that woman and her baby. Now, getting run over by a locomotive has to be one of the worst ways to go out because there’s always the chance you could just get your legs run over and survive through the pain. Sure enough that’s what sounds like happened here. The crazy lives to see another day.

 

Yep, got a nightstick to the dome about 20 times. Clearly what he deserved but that’s not what bothered me. The dude’s chick who was way too over dramatic for the situation was what really pissed me off. Your man just cracked a police officer in the face in front of a huge crowd at Philly’s Oktoberfest, what did you think was going to happen? The only thing I was waiting for was the overhead zoom out shot of her looking into the sky screaming “WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!????”

 

Eric, I commend you and want to know where I can get one of these things. There’s nothing worse then listening to a person, usually a female, on the phone talking like they’re in their living room on public transportation. I can’t tell you how many times I wished that jammer was a detonator that I could just hit the button and end my life. I don’t want to hear about your asshole baby daddy, what your plans are for the evening, and all the other bullshit drama in your life. This is one of the last positives of the subway since there is no cell service down there and even that’s in jeopardy. You wanna know what talking out loud on the phone leads to? Nasty old women cursing you out and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. You don’t want your phone jammed, don’t make everyone on the bus feel like they’re in the audience of Maury.

Side note: I loved Eric in Hot Tub Time Machine.

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Yankees missed the team bus to game 5, Devils and Rangers lost their season openers, Giants and Jets both fell short of comebacks. This was a weekend where one of the few times in my life I actually wished I was living as a vegetable in a hospital bed so I didn’t have to witness New York sports. The only thing to cushion the blow was the fact that the Phillies were upset at home Friday night and the Eagles ‘Dream Team’ keeps on dreamin’ of a win. Hey Philadelphia, misery loves company so welcome to the party. The reason it was worse than NY’s weekend was that your billion dollar baseball team lost in the first round of the playoffs in a season they were expected to win every game and your billion dollar football team is in the cellar of the NFC East. I hate the fact that the Giants sucked but thank Christ I don’t have to spend another week listening to you obnoxious Philly fans. With no basketball in sight, I guess it’s on to hockey for the city of brotherly love where I’m sure somehow you’ll still manage to bomb that season.