James Brown Doesn’t Seem Coked Up At All In This 1988 Interview


This is a maaaaan’s world! That’s why I hit my wife with a lead pipe and got off with a slap on the wrist. Also why I went on national TV higher than Tony Montana and couldn’t get any sentences out other than song lyrics. James mothafuckin’ Brown everybody! I guess the only thing that can stop him is his heart!

Man Talks About ODing On Bath Salts


Listen, 6 cannibal stories in one week is not what we call par for the course so I’m riding this out of control ‘zombie’ train until it crashes and burns. Bath salts are a good start to pointing the finger but I’m pretty sure people are just sick and crazy worldwide.

Take Freddy here for example. Took bath salts until Jason Voorhees hopped in his head and he had to be strapped down to a gurney, tripping like he was on the boat from Willy Wonka’s Factory. No thanks.

Big CNN Flub That Aired


I’ve always said that old people should not be allowed to drive. It’s like giving the keys to a car to a 5 year old and this woman will be 104 next month?! And how about that car! As hood as they come. I was waiting for the hydraulics to kick in and watch that bitch bounce down the street. No wonder they accidentally played that music. It’s probably what grandma was listening to anyway. Reminded me of a great classic: