‘How To Tell If You’re A Basic Bitch’ Is Scarily Accurate

 

The Uggs, the ‘sexy’ or ‘juicy’ sweatpants, NorthFace jackets, Las Vegas pictures with the #WhatHappensInVegas–it’s like I’m back in college all the sudden. This whole sketch just really called out every girl I’m friends with and I’m not sure if that says a lot about them or me. The funny part is that I already posted this on my personal Facebook account and of course it got a couple comments and likes but you can absolutely tell that every girl that saw it was thinking the same thing–“Fuck that, I’m not BASIC!” As they sit there telling their friend about their next cleanse with their misspelled name written on their Starbucks cup wearing Hunter rain boots because it’s cloudy outside.

Side note: How many days do we give it until a male version of this pops up from some feminist? Tomorrow?

 

 

How Spot On Is This Panhandler Party On The Subway?

 

If you’ve ever ridden the NYC subway then you understand how on point this clip is. The homeless lady with the sob story asking for anything you might have, the young kid trying to sell the stale, expired fruit snacks, and the goddamn 4-5 piece mariachi band that insists on playing at the crack of dawn in the rush hour commute. Just a matter of time before the Wall St. guy, the 2nd mortgage family, and circus midgets roam the subway asking for dead presidents.

-Thanks to Fizz for this

What’s Up With This New Book? Is This Black People’s ’50 Shades’?

 

So after doing extensive research on this (Googling “How To Be Black” and reading the first sentence that popped up in results) I found out that this is some comedic book written by a black guy about how to fit in as a black person in the work place and social world. Examples include how to socialize at happy hour with your white colleagues or how to be a good black friend to your white friends. Sounds funny but regardless, I think it’s hilarious seeing black people reading this on the subway, especially when you have no idea what the book is about.

Then I got to thinking…would it be racist if all of the sudden there was a book written by a white guy teaching white people how to fit in with black people? Like if you’re walking down the street in Harlem you need to walk REALLY slow down the sidewalk and talk as loud as you can to the person next you. Or if your kid is acting up on the subway, slap the little fucker upside their head and slam them into an open seat. Would this fly or would CSC have Al Sharpton at it’s front door calling for a complete site shutdown? Maybe time will tell…

 

The Katt Williams Comedy Show In Oakland Went Real Well Last Week

Huff Post: OAKLAND, Calif. — Comic Katt Williams is being sued over his onstage meltdown and aborted performance in Oakland. The suit filed by 35-year-old Brian Herline, of Modesto, says he and hundreds of fans were disappointed when Williams took off his clothes and challenged people to fight. Herline is seeking class-action certification in an effort to get ticket money back for all audience members. A representative for Williams has refused to comment. The Williams meltdown came two days after he was arrested on charges of attacking an aspiring rapper on his tour bus outside a downtown Oakland hotel. He was later released with no charges filed.

 

Man, Katt Williams is certainly going through some shit right now, huh? Beating up rappers, getting into bar fights in Seattle, an on-stage meltdown, and just lawsuit after lawsuit. You especially know it’s bad when your friends come out on stage to apologize for you and their only excuse is that Katt went overboard on crazy drugs. Hope your weekend was better than his!

 

Top 10 Funniest Male TV Characters; Who Ya Got?

OK, so here are the rules. Has to be a MALE TV CHARACTER from the last 20 years. Movies don’t count and it can be real OR animated. The funny factor is based on the character and NOT the actor. This list wasn’t easy by any means but I think it comes pretty damn close! Tomorrow we’ll list the top 10 funniest women. Just kidding, women aren’t funny. Now, let the great debate begin!

10. Leon Black (Curb Your Enthusiasm) 

*Leon was the perfect addition to a show that was already on the right track

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9. Adam DeMamp (Workaholics)

*Adam is by far the funniest out of the three dumb, stoner ‘workaholics’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8. Ron Swanson (Parks And Recreation)

*The man’s man Ron Swanson defines lazy sarcasm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7. Bubbles (Trailer Park Boys)

*The dark horse at #7. If you haven’t seen Trailer Park Boys you are missing out!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6. George Costanza (Seinfeld)

*When you think Seinfeld, you think one-liners. When you think one-liners, you think George Costanza.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5. Charlie Kelly (It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia)

*Both repulsive and dumb as nails, Charlie makes everyone feel so much better about themselves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Ja’mie/Jonah/Mr. G (Summer Heights High)

*All 3 of these characters push the envelope to the point of funny awkwardness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Kenny Powers (Eastbound And Down)

*Having the freedom of being uncensored, Kenny Powers gets away with whatever he wants on HBO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm)

*No one has nailed real life awkward situations and made them funnier than Larry David. Man is a genius.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Michael Scott (The Office)

*One man has never single-handedly carried a show on his shoulders like Michael Scott. Yes, the show is still on TV but it was never the same after his departure. An obvious #1 in my mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Honorable mentions: Tom Haverford (Parks And Recreation), Dwight Shrute (The Office), Cam Tucker (Modern Family), ‘Gob’ Bluth (Arrested Development), Eric Cartman (South Park)