Guy Lives When NYC Subway Train Rolls Over Him


DailyMail: A Bronx man is lucky to be alive after being run over Saturday morning by a subway train. Ralph Mercado, 55, fell onto the northbound tracks just after 11.30am Saturday at Union Square just before an R train pulled into the station. He survived with barely a scratch even though the train rolled directly over him. Mr Mercado was able to roll into the trench between the tracks, which gave him just enough space to evade being crushed by the train. Mr Mercado was soon pulled to safety with only a bruised hand, according to NBC New York. He told officers he jumped down to help a woman who fell, according to the Post, but witnesses told the paper there was no one else on the tracks. The lucky-to-be-alive man was taken to Bellevue Hospital for a psychological evaluation. A total of 145 people have been struck by trains this year in New York. Of those, 52 have died.


Looney Tune alert. Hey pal, remember that non existent woman you jumped onto the tracks to save? Almost cost you your life. Now as always go buy a Mega Millions ticket cause you’re lucky to be alive.



How Did The Gawker ‘Subway List’ Forget These People?



1. The person standing in front of an open seat on a crowded train. You think you’re being chivalrous? You think you’re accomplishing some vague gesture of selflessness, by failing to sit in the space that’s opened in front of you, even though you are the only person with direct access to the space, due to the claustrophobic crowding of the rush hour train car? You’re secretly congratulating yourself for your nice, healthy refusal to sit? Fuck you. You are causing that open space to be wasted and making the train car more crowded just to feel good about yourself. Sit in the fucking seat.

2. The people standing in front of the door who don’t move when the doors open. If you want to maintain your choice spot by the door, push yourself to the side so that people can get on and off, or step off the train to let people off, and then step back on, and then push yourself to the side. If you just stand there, you deserve to be pushed off.

3. The people who get on before letting everyone get off. You deserve to be stabbed.

4. The people who lean on the pole. Feels nice and relaxing to lean on that pole, eh? Just treating that pole like your own personal leaning area? Stone cold relaxing, on the crowded train? Hey, guess what, THE POLE IS FOR EVERYONE TO HOLD, so get the fuck off the pole.

5. The people who try to make you let go of the pole before the train stops. So you’re standing over seated people, holding onto the pole so that you do not fall down on the swaying subway train as it barrels down the tracks. As the train approaches the station, the person seated beneath you starts to stand— and gazes up at you expectantly, in an indication that you should release your grip from the pole so that they can stand all the way up and make their way towards the doors. Easy for them to say: they’re seated. You, however, are standing, and exposed to the perilous motions of the train, which is not stopped yet. Never ask someone to let go of the pole before the train is stopped, just because you want to save yourself a couple seconds on your way to the doors. That’s like asking a man to kill his dog.

6. The people who act like they’re the only ones who are going to get off at a major stop. “EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! GETTING OFF! EXCUSE ME!” says the crazy person and/or tourist elbowing forcefully through the crowd of passengers as the train approaches the station. This is Union Square, dumbass. Everyone is getting off. Chill.

7. The people who stand on the narrowest area of the platform. There are certain parts of New York City subway platforms— where staircases come down, for example— where there is only a very, very narrow area for pedestrians to walk, because the rest of the platform is blocked. These areas often consist of less than a foot of space, bordered by the yellow “warning” area, and then the void of the tracks. Some people, for reasons unknown, decide to stand in these narrow areas to wait for the train, thereby forcing all pedestrian traffic to walk on the warning strip like so many Wallendas, just inches away from falling to their deaths, where one false step could send them plummeting towards the third rail. These people literally value having a wall to lean on more than they value the lives of pedestrians. I’m not saying that these people deserve to be thrown onto the train tracks just to illustrate the enormity of their crime, but I am saying that they are exactly the type of people who enabled Stalin in his unblinking campaign of terror.

8. The people who stop hurrying down the steps once they see it’s not their train coming. Walking briskly down the stairs in a subway station is a good idea, because everyone wants to be sure not to miss their trains. If you see that the train below is not yours, guess what, that doesn’t mean you should slow to a crawl, because THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE BEHIND YOU TRYING TO CATCH OTHER TRAINS MOTHERFUCKER, IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT YOU. YOUR ACT IS INDICATIVE OF A FUNDAMENTAL SELFISHNESS DETRIMENTAL TO CIVIL SOCIETY. Also, please walk down the escalators.

9. The people who eat cooked food. You want to eat a Snickers bar on the train? Fine. You want to stank up the entire subway car eating a huge styrofoam container of Kung Pao Chicken? That is rude. If the food you are eating is stank, do not eat it on the subway. Eat it before you get on. Eat it after you get off. But do not eat it while we are all stuck in this tiny confined space for the next half hour or so. A simple and effective rule we can all live with. (Homeless people can be exempt.)

10. Teenagers. Stop yelling.


So this was Gawker’s list of the worst people in the subway. Pretty sure they do this every year and somehow it never changes. While I can agree that some of these people I’ve listed in the past, there are definitely a bunch missing. How do you not mention:

1. The people who listen to music on the train without headphones. This is mainly a black thing and I’m pretty sure 99% of you are just trolling everyone else on the train to see who will actually say something. 

2. The people who stand in the turnstile while they look for their Metrocard. What a shocker that you were going to need your Metrocard to get in the subway! And how about you search through your body bag of a purse somewhere other than the only turnstile in the subway.

3. The people who block the subway stairs while they finish up their phone conversations. You know most stations don’t have cell service once you’re down there–so don’t go down the stairs on your phone!

4. The subway break dancers/mariachi band/candy sellers. Fuck all of you…that is all.

How Spot On Is This Panhandler Party On The Subway?


If you’ve ever ridden the NYC subway then you understand how on point this clip is. The homeless lady with the sob story asking for anything you might have, the young kid trying to sell the stale, expired fruit snacks, and the goddamn 4-5 piece mariachi band that insists on playing at the crack of dawn in the rush hour commute. Just a matter of time before the Wall St. guy, the 2nd mortgage family, and circus midgets roam the subway asking for dead presidents.

-Thanks to Fizz for this

Parkour Kids Jump NYC Subway Platform


So by now hopefully most of our readers understand where the idea of this website came from. Friday we had rats running up women’s pants and now we got Kid Cudi and his white friend jumping from platform to platform. The shit that goes on down there rarely makes sense but as long as it’s documented, who cares?

Sidenote: Never seen the subway this empty since Cloverfield. The fuck is going on?

So Playing Chicken With Subway Trains Is The New Teen Craze In NYC?


I just don’t get kids these days. I’ve recently heard stories from kids sticking vodka covered tampons up their asses to actually drinking hand sanitizer straight from the bottle. Now this shit? Since when was the bar set so high? When I was a kid we did bong hits called “Waterfalls” that basically rendered you paralyzed for about an hour, you got hungry and munched out, called it a night and passed out. That was a “wild” night for me. Call me old fashioned but fuck sticking things up my ass, drinking chemicals, or playing Red Rover with subway trains.

Woman Unnecessarily Shaving Man’s Head On The Subway


This is the kind of bullshit that pisses me off. Attention seekers just trying to piss everyone off. You see her turn around and smile at the camera? You’re not even homeless so why would you do this here? Hey hun, I think he’s good. You’ve been buzzing his scalp since Queens and at this point I’m just waiting for the blood to start trickling down his face. It almost seems like she’s getting off on this which is even more bizarre. Get a room.

Girls Jump Gate In Subway, Fight NYPD #OccupyJailCell



Girls jumps NYC Subway gate to avoid fare. When cops try to arrest them…. this is what happens.


Damn times must really be tough. For $2.25 you’ve now tacked on avoiding a subway fare, resisting arrest, and assaulting a police officer. Very impressive. Most people don’t realize that most gates in the subway are watched by police on surveillance cameras . My friends found that out the hard way back in high school when they decided to hop the turnstiles and 2 seconds later police had them in HQ handing out fines. What a feeling that must be for the police though. Sitting there all day just waiting for someone to hop the gate and BAM! ‘Pssst. 10-4, We got a group of female hoppers. I’m going in! Gonna need some backup they look a little hostile.’


Sidenote: If I were NYPD I would definitely wanna be the plain clothes cop who carries the badge around his neck. Straight up 21 Jump Street style. Bad ass!