Posts Tagged ‘homeless’

Homeless Man Picks A Fight With Puppet In The Subway

Posted: March 24, 2014 by subwaycreatures in Dumb, Funny
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Yep, that’s a homeless man fighting with a puppet. You wanna lose an eye?! Sir, you know that’s a hand making that mouth move right?

 

Miles Allen

So many of you probably saw this yesterday. A homeless guy doing Breaking Bad impressions for some food. Welp, immediately it didn’t take a rocket scientist to ask how the hell a homeless guy is spitting out up to date lines from the greatest show on TV, so I did a little digging. Turns out it’s just another fake viral video. Just like the twerking girl who caught on fire was a Jimmy Kimmel skit and just like that older video of the eagle picking up a baby and flying off with it was fake, this ‘homeless’ guy is an actor by the name of Miles Allen. A simple imdb search and you can see how much work he has not gotten in his career. That being said, if you never did in the first place, it’s time to question every single thing you come across on the internet. Being a skeptic is just the responsible thing to do.

Side note: If someone tells me the old man writing the song for his wife was fake I might shut CSC down!

 

If you’ve ever ridden the NYC subway then you understand how on point this clip is. The homeless lady with the sob story asking for anything you might have, the young kid trying to sell the stale, expired fruit snacks, and the goddamn 4-5 piece mariachi band that insists on playing at the crack of dawn in the rush hour commute. Just a matter of time before the Wall St. guy, the 2nd mortgage family, and circus midgets roam the subway asking for dead presidents.

-Thanks to Fizz for this

A Pacific Gas & Electric worker rammed by a driver from Washington state has a broken leg and will need to remain in Community Regional Medical Center for a couple more days. The 37-year-old worker, who has been with PG&E for five years, asked not to be identified. But he was talking to family members and in good spirits Saturday, said Denny Boyles, PG&E spokesman. “It’s not his belief that anyone should be angry with the driver,” Boyles said. “He just hopes the man gets the help he needs.” Fresno County Sheriff’s deputies arrested Jett Simmons McBride, 54, of Tacoma, Wash., for ramming his car into the worker. McBride was booked into Fresno County Jail early Saturday on suspicion of attempted murder. His bail was set at $1 million. About 2 p.m. Friday, McBride drove his car toward a PG&E work crew and their truck, wedging workers between the two vehicles along McKinley Avenue near Marks Avenue west of Highway 99. McBride had picked up a hitchhiker who said McBride was making racist remarks when he came upon the PG&E workers, one of whom was black. McBride lodged the black worker between his car and the work truck, got out of his car and began beating the worker and attacking others who tried to stop him. The hitchhiker then got out of the car and started hitting McBride with a hatchet, officials said. The hitchhiker eventually knocked out McBride, who is 6 feet 4 inches tall and weighs 290 pounds, according to jail records.

 

Woke up this morning with a text from my brother saying I HAD to check out the interview of the hitchhiker with the hatchet. As soon as I pulled it up and played it 10 seconds in I knew this was gold. Amazing story and this homeless guy’s role is like something from a movie. I have 0 idea what’s going on and how FOX News is going to use any of this but the fact that there is a drifter named Kai with no last name and an unknown age roaming the streets with a hatchet is priceless and scary at the same time. By the way I feel like someone hit me in the head with a hatchet this morning. Hangover city.

Would You Rather…

Posted: December 20, 2012 by subwaycreatures in Would You Rather
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1. Suck this homeless guy’s toes for 15 minutes straight after he’s spent half his life walking through the streets on New York City, the subways, and God knows what else

Barefoot Homeless NYPD

OR

2. Let this chick workout for an hour, dry her sweat off with a rag and have her ring it out over your open mouth?

fat woman

 

As long as the Bears can block for 2 seconds, their offense is gonna score 70. The defense is gonna score 50 and special teams gonna score at least 30!

Safe to say this garbage picker was shooting for the stars a little bit with that bold 150 point prediction. Hope he didn’t bet all his cigarettes on that OVER though since both teams put up a combined score of 19 in one of the most boring NFL games of the week.

This Guy Just Might Be The Greatest Skimboarder Alive

Posted: October 19, 2012 by subwaycreatures in Funny
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That is when you compare him to a quadriplegic.


WARNING: TURN DOWN VOLUME!

When you troll as hard as this sidewalk sleeper, I would consider getting knocked out a moral victory. If that’s the least that happened to him screaming the N word in a black guy’s face on the subway in Queens, then he should count his blessings. He’ll still wake up homeless but he’ll still be alive. On second thought maybe a quick death was what he was going for.

 

Half these people are laughing and half are pissed off. Is no one scared? We have a zombie apocalypse on our hands and it’s clear that one of them is trying to get on the bus. Props to the bus driver for not running this guy over because I’m pretty sure no one would miss him.

Mr. Whomp Whomp Deserves Our Attention!

Posted: September 20, 2012 by subwaycreatures in Awesome, Music
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Hands down song of the year. Can’t stop wompin’ over here! Skrillex who? Dude should be whomp whompin’ to the bank but he’s washing windows for quarters. Strange world we live in.