Virtual Subway Grocery Shopping Coming?

 

Virtual subway grocery shopping? Rell rould you rook at that! Why are the Asians always so damn more advanced than us! We import everything from them and their technology is always 10 years ahead of us, partly why our economy is in the shits. Right off the bat I can tell you that this new technology will have zero effect on me since I still use a Zack Morris phone from 1989 with no internet. Here’s the thing South Korea must not have in common with us New Yorkers. We have just as many bums in our subways than actual commuters. Installing this on every platform is like throwing chum in the ocean during a shark feeding frenzy. I can just picture ‘one eyed Ray’ from the A-train licking the fruit section of these virtual boards like it was the “Lickable Wallpaper” in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Or Stinky Steve from the 6-train jerkin off to the fresh cut steaks in the meat section. Just hobos coming from everywhere to drool over these products that they will never actually see in real life. Not the most desirable situation for strap hangers who are just trying to order dinner for their family that night. I’ll tell you who I will give money or food to though. These guys:

 

I Wanna Hang Out With This Guy!

She’s a maniac, mannnniac on the floor. And she’s dancing like she’s never danced–lean back! lean back! My man just went from Michael Sembello to Fat Joe in less than 2 seconds. He’s mixing songs like he’s got two turntables and a crowd of thousands in front of himself. How is no one paying this dude attention!? I 100% understand how he has all that money in his pocket because I would probably give him everything I had on me including my girlfriend. Not really sure what he’s saving up for but he’s the happiest man on the train and probably has the least amount to be happy about. That’s life for ya! Anyway, it’s Friday and this guy is the perfect way to start the weekend. Have a good one everyone!

Personal Hygiene

Fresh off the 7 train…Don’t hate on this guy! I’m sure dude’s got a huge date coming up tonight and he’s just trying to get his shit together. I like his style too. Make due with what you got around you. “Damn I forgot my comb at my cardboard box under the bridge. Oh look, a fork on the ground!” I also love how oblivious he is to the person filming directly across from him. Either that or he could give two fucks cause he knows he’s gettin’ it in tonight! Comb on old man, comb on.