Worst Way To Get A Job? Show Up Naked And Assault Cops

 

Showing up to the workplace wearing nothing but a bush around your dick, saying you’re good with your hands is not gonna get you a job my friend. I don’t know how things work south of the border, but here all it will get you is taken down by the police and/or possibly tased. After all that rolling around on the ground, I’m pretty sure the female cop got pregnant and the male cop had this guy in the big spoon position. Couldn’t pay me enough money to deal with this shit. Call for backup and wait it out. And how about these guys documenting this dude like they were the Discovery Channel following some uncivilized African tribesman praying to the Sun Gods? That’s some Emmy Award winning shit right there.

Man Buys Safe On Ebay With $26,000 Inside…Seller Wants Half

 

I don’t feel bad for the seller in this story one little bit. You know this dude was sitting on his computer at home laughing that the other guy just bought a useless safe for $120. Who’s laughing now? I absolutely love how the buyer tagged up this dude’s eBay comment wall letting him know what he just found. ‘Oh you wanna sell me a useless safe for $122? Well I just profited $25,878 from that deal dickface.’

And how about the seller hitting him up for half of the $26,000?! I guess he’s got balls but honestly how easy is it for him to say ‘if it were me I would definitely give him half.’ Well it could’ve been you but it wasn’t. And no kidding the buyer won’t reveal any info on himself. The seller will probably take that $122 he made from this deal and put a bid on eBay for a gun with some bullets, track this guy down, and take back the $26,000. Sorry dude, sometimes that’s just how the cookie crumbles.

A New Kind Of Porn: Skydiving Sex

XXX:

Alex Torres (born: Alexandre Boisvert; aliases: VooDoo Child, Voodoo, Voo Doo, Lex) is a French Canadian skydiver and porn actor currently living in California, who wanted to get the attention of Howard Stern. So he shot a video, set to Katy Perry’s “E.T.”, of him having sex with Hope Howell, a receptionist at Skydive Taft School in Bakersfield, where he works. But they weren’t just having sex. They were having sex in the plane. They were having sex as they jumped out together. And they were still having sex as they hurtled towards the ground. Torres then posted the video to his website, and it started to make the rounds at a local high school. That’s when the authorities got involved. No one actually saw them, so they can’t be nabbed on public indecency charges, but having sex on a plane could be a violation of federal regulations — particularly as it occurred in this tape, seated in a jump seat right next to the pilot. The Federal Aviation Administration is currently reviewing the tape to see if the pilot was distracted.

 

Just when you thought porn couldn’t get any better, BAM! Free-fall fucking. Love this guy for being an entrepreneur and I’m almost shocked this wasn’t thought of earlier. This just jumped to the top of my bucket list above snorting a rail with Charlie Sheen off a porn star’s ass and spending 24 hours at the Playboy Mansion. I’m sure the FAA doesn’t give a shit about this since there are bigger things to worry about like terrorists flying planes into buildings but they have to do something since all the soccer moms on the ground found something to complain about. Haters gonna hate but let’s just hope Alex finished on the ground and not on his decent.