Day: February 6, 2012

Woman Unnecessarily Shaving Man’s Head On The Subway

subwaycreatures

 

This is the kind of bullshit that pisses me off. Attention seekers just trying to piss everyone off. You see her turn around and smile at the camera? You’re not even homeless so why would you do this here? Hey hun, I think he’s good. You’ve been buzzing his scalp since Queens and at this point I’m just waiting for the blood to start trickling down his face. It almost seems like she’s getting off on this which is even more bizarre. Get a room.

Patriots Get ‘Decapitated’ And Christ Does It Feel Good!

subwaycreatures

 

Woke up this morning with a smile on my face, ate some Wheaties (breakfast of champions), whistled all the way to work, and read in the paper that Gisele divorced Tom after the game last night, only to get turned down by Eli who left her in the dust of his new Corvette. And check out Brandon Jacobs. Trying so goddamn hard not to swear or say the wrong thing on national TV that ‘decapitated’ was the best thing that could come out of his mouth. Yea, the big guy didn’t contribute much but that doesn’t change the fact that he has a ring on his finger.

Highlights of the game. Brady throws first pass away for the 6th ever safety in a Super Bowl. Gronkowski completely useless. Weatherford most pumped up player in the game. Cruz salsa dancing. Welker drops biggest catch of his career. Manningham makes biggest catch of his career. Bradshaw awkwardly squats on goal line. Giants defense keeps Brady in check for most of game. Hail Mary to end game gives America a universal heart attack.

I’m not sure that this game was better than 2008 considering the circumstances but goddamn what a road it was getting there! Ticker Tape parade tomorrow at 11am. See you in the Canyon of Heroes!