Category: Funny

Get A Load Of The Kid Who Thinks He’s A Dragonball Z Character

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Pretty sure that was just an impersonation of a motorcycle changing gears on the highway but hey, we can’t all be the guy from Police Academy. I’m gonna say that this kid just needs to ride out his dream of having super powers cause who am I to say otherwise? It’s one more job than most of his friends probably have so may the force be with you. By the looks of when he took his shirt off, he’s soooo close to his dream too.

Side Note: Was anyone else just waiting for his mother to yell from downstairs “Jesus Christ, for the last time shut the fuck up!”

Girls Denied Beer For Flashing Then Arrested For Wielding A Knife

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HuffPost: Authorities in Florida say they arrested two rowdy women on Wednesday after their rejected flash-for-beer money offers led to an alleged knife attack in a restaurant parking lot, according to a Lee County Sheriff’s report obtained by The Huffington Post. Lee County sheriff’s deputies arrived at The Waterfront Restaurant in St. James City at approximately 5:21 p.m. after two “disorderly females” — Alicia Martin, 28, and Kathryn Rayannic, 23 — allegedly decided to get creative in an attempt to keep their “excessive” bar tab going. “They were offering to show their boobs for drinks,” waiter Shaun Bassett told NBC-2. “We had five guys that were like, ‘Please, leave us alone.’ They actually went up to tables who had their wives there.” With no takers — and management hardly enthused — Martin and Rayannic were asked to leave. That’s when things got ugly. Two restaurant employees, chef John Miller and a manager Anissa Peterson, attempted to escort the women outside, at which point Martin allegedly “attacked Peterson, by punching her to the back of the head causing her to sustain a lump,” according to the report. The Waterfront employees say they confiscated Martin’s car keys. “Martin screamed at Miller to giver her keys back and then pulled a gray Kershaw, folding knife from her right pocket and charged Miller telling him she was going to stab him,” according to police. “Miller who was in fear for his safety retreated and Marin put away the knife and attacked Peterson again.” Martin is charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and battery. Rayannic is charged with disorderly conduct.

 

You know it’s time to make a change in your life when 5 drunk guys at a bar turn you down to see your flabby tits. Yea, no thanks, maybe after 5 more pitchers of PBR when I’m near unconsciousness. These chicks have no one to be mad at except for themselves so I don’t know why they are pulling knives on people. And as for the bartender, your tip was the show they were putting on at the bar and getting to be on TV? You’re on the WBBH local news and the experience you got from watching this was something that probably resembled what it looks like if you go to a strip club on a Tuesday afternoon. Demand a tip next time.

Security Guard Slaps The Shit Out Of Man

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What a textbook slap. Just look at his form coming from the ground to the head! I wonder how many chicks noses this guy has broken because he had to have been a pimp before this security gig, right? I’ve been cracked in the face a few times with a fist but the noise this slap makes takes the cake. The guy filming was in another zip code and we could hear it like he was right next to them. Really hope whatever this guy stole was worth it though. Imagine explaining that one to your boys? Hey Roger why the hell is your nose on the left side of your face? Oh, uh, got bitch slapped down at the local supermarket but uh, you should see the other guy!

Nope. Not gonna fly my friend…

 

 

Father Accidentally Plays A Porno For Kids Birthday Party

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HuffPost: TREMONTON, Utah – Police aren’t filing charges against a father who briefly played a pornographic video instead of “The Smurfs” at his child’s birthday party. Tremonton Police Chief Dave Nance tells the Standard-Examiner of Ogden ( the man had rented a copy of “The Smurfs” from a Redbox kiosk and loaded the disc into his laptop. But when he turned the projector on for the children, pornographic images flashed on the screen. Authorities got involved when the father complained somebody had tampered with the DVD. Police found nothing wrong, saying the porn was probably on the laptop. Nance says officials aren’t pursuing charges because the incident was apparently an accident. “The Smurfs” was released in 2011 and features animated blue creatures that are chased into New York City by an evil wizard. Nance says officials aren’t pursuing charges because the incident was apparently an accident. “The Smurfs” was released in 2011 and features animated blue creatures that are chased into New York City by an evil wizard.

 

Nothing like getting embarrassed at your 7th birthday party by having Dad accidentally pop in a porno! Sitting there so excited to see ‘The Smurfs’ and all the sudden you’re watching In-Diana Jones Part 3. And even though I probably wouldn’t have even known what was going on at that age, there’s always that one kid who’s been down this road, explaining to the rest of the party what they are seeing.

This is just another reason why I can’t have kids. This would absolutely  happen to me and my kid would probably shoot me that same night when I went to sleep.

Student Arrested For Farting In Library And Calling It A ‘Bomb’

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HuffPost:

Harold Wayne Hadley, Jr., 19, was arrested at a Mississippi junior college after he allegedly wrote a note on a piece of toilet paper on Tuesday, containing the word ‘bomb,’ according to Weirdnews.net. The note prompted 11 emergency agencies to respond to the school, but there was no bomb. Hadley and his family contend that he was only explaining the joy of flatulating in the library. “He was in the restroom doodling on some toilet paper … we are from the country, and he calls passing gas, bombs,” said Hadley’s aunt, who wouldn’t give her name to WDAM. “[He] put ‘I passed a bomb in the library,’ talking about passing gas, and somebody came in and found it, gave it to a teacher that recognized his hand writing and it blew all out of proportion.” Investigators wouldn’t say exactly what Hadley wrote, but WDAM reports that it was no more explicit than “I passed a bomb in the library.” Hadley was arrested and held on $20,000 bail. If convicted of threatening to blow up the school, he faces 10 years in prison and a $10,000 fine, according to WAPT. His aunt says he earned straight A’s at Jones County Junior College and was scheduled to graduate in May.

 

Hey Harry, don’t worry man. There’s nothing funnier than a good fart joke, just use better terminology next time. Ever since 9/11 people have been a little uptight about the word ‘bomb’. No joke, I’m playing with a fart machine at work as we speak. Here’s a couple for you to use next time: cut the cheese, ripped ass, butt burp, petarded, farted, ass acoustics, backdraft, tear ass. Oh yea, ‘sharted’ too but you have bigger problems if you’re using that one. I’ve heard of farts being called bombs before and if this was anything like those, it must have been pretty bad. If Harold Wayne Hadley gets 10 years for farting in the library and writing about it, I’ve lost all faith in our justice system. The only injustice here is that no one is laughing about this except for me.

Side note: He was explaining the joy of flatulating in the library. By far my favorite line of this story.