"People watch from the safety of your phone"
As if planking weren’t bad enough now we have to deal with this shit? I hope every person who does this lives the rest of their lives paralyzed in a wheelchair. Why? Because they deserve it. It’s that simple. Why is everyone so surprised when they fall and land on their head? That’s the only way down once you’ve got yourself in that position. Stupid people really piss me off sometimes, but then again I wouldn’t have a job so keep up the hard work assholes.
We’ve all had one of those days where nothing seems to go right no matter what. This guy hit his breaking point and I love this! He did what every single one of us has always wanted to do when in this situation. Excuse me. Are you giving me a parking ticket? The meter expired? What meter? [cue chainsaw]
And I know Halloween is right around the corner but goddamn! If I were that lady parking cop and that serial killer lookin dude came near me with a chainsaw I would be latched onto the trunk of that cab yellin ‘floor it!’ No way in hell do those parking cops get paid enough to handle these situations. She absolutely shit herself and will think twice next time she gives a bearded man wearing a jump suit a parking ticket.
Well don’t just stand there looking disgusted. Get me a tissue, bitch!
Well..I know what I’m being for Halloween this year. Can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me growing up when I wore glasses and they always seemed to be in the most obvious places. Worst part is that usually you can’t see without your glasses which makes finding them even more fun. Lady, did you check the top of your head? Yes? OK, don’t freak out we’ll get you through this. Wait…I said don’t freak out…
Was this an infant or a midget? That little bastard scaled the crib like Spiderman and almost stuck the landing! I’m gonna go ahead and call them Pinky and the Brain since the other retard has absolutely no idea what’s going on and his twin brother has blueprints to take over the world. Clearly we see who got the smart jeans in the womb. The kid even has the wherewithal to nab the evidence of the camera recording his every move! Who is this kid?!
My brother pulled this kinda shit when he was a baby only he took the destructive route and shook his fuckin crib like a Japanese earthquake. He went on to play football and now he’s a cop so if that tells us anything about this kid’s future, he might grow up to be the next Daniel Ocean.
Side Note: How do you sleep at night if you’re this kid’s parents knowing your son is probably scaling down the side of your house and hot wiring your mini van parked in the driveway?
Well, some positives and some negatives to look at here. This guy goes to Arizona and just went down in the history books for sneaking onto the field by way of referee uniform and causing a bench clearing brawl between both teams. If he doesn’t get more pussy than he knows what to do with then I’ve lost all faith in college sluts. On the negative side, he’s now going to jail in nothing but his underwear so with the good comes the bad.
How do you take something really gay and make it somewhat cool? Endanger people’s lives of course. Fuck the cardboard and Styrofoam, I love the idea that someone can get hurt here. I mean don’t get me wrong, you still won’t see me out there in costume but I might be that guy who shot the other guy in the nuts when no one is looking just to send a reality check.
Jesus it got to the point where I was waiting for Siri to say “Speak fuckin’ English asshole!” Asians have always been handicapped when it comes to those pesky Rs but you know what, they are smart people and will have to learn to adapt. I’ve been reading all sorts of stories about this new Siri shit on the iPhone 4s and it looks like it could probably entertain me for an entire day. You can ask it anything and it will have some kind of answer for you. Take this for example:
So I’ve officially declared today’s theme as “Yes. People like this DO exist.” I watched this whole short film and it was mind blowing! Just when you thought you’ve seen it all from the South, they create a Juggalo music festival. I think the creators of this film were trying to answer the main question of ‘what the fuck is a juggalo’ but due to many many many drugs and A.D.D., they never seem to be answered by anyone in the video. The people look exactly how you’d expect them to and all this video was missing was a banjo in the background with a brother/sister combo humping like wild animals. If you have 20 minutes of free time and are feeling down at any point of the day, I recommend this film and you’ll feel a lot better about yourself. A couple of highlights are as follows:
-Guy who only knows the word “fuck”
-Preggo woman who plans on Juggalos raising her unborn child
-Dude allowing friend to spray paint his face
-Girl who says she’s not on drugs but absolutley has to be
-Man fucked up on drugs who is waiting for a surgical transplant
-WOOT, WOOT!
So about a year ago I’m walking home from dinner and I see this piece of work on the sidewalk. I stopped for a second and thought to myself if this guy is gonna walk around like this then he deserves to be filmed. It’s not even close to Halloween and this dude is full blown about to walk down down aisle. I pull my camera out and start recording him and I don’t think I even need to say that he was not happy about it. He repeatedly hits me with his purse which I feel only made the clip even better but as he walks away tries to tell me it’s illegal to film him. Ohhhh buddy, you walk around the public streets of NY like that and you better expect somebody to film you. Then some lady behind me says that I was mean to him. Excuse me?! Am I the crazy one here? Never know what you’ll run into in this city and I love it!
SubwayCreatures 