Posts Tagged ‘porn’

Playing Porn On The Train Prank

Posted: March 16, 2016 by subwaycreatures in Funny, Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Screen Shot 2016-03-16 at 1.15.49 PM

Advertisements

stop-being-bored-at-work

 

CLICK THE LINKS TO VIEW

Viralnova: 16 Awesome Tips That Make Your Life Easier

Eddenya: 50 Pictures Taken At The Perfect Time [PHOTOS]

HuffPost: Ranking Hangovers Based On The Alcohol You Drink

Guyism: What One Kid Would Do With A Billion Dollars Is Evil

Barstool: Guy Gets His Ass Kicked For Hitting On Chick On The C Train

BleacherReport: The Most Epic Hair In Sports

BroBible: Things You Can Do To Be Happier

TheChive: No Thanks, I’d Rather Not Any Of This! [PHOTOS]

DeadSpin: Another Fan Hit A Half Court Shot For $20,000

Gothamist: Man Decapitated By Train In Bronx

DailyMail: 79 Y.O. Charles Manson To Marry 25 Y.O. Woman

Egotastic!: Tati Neves Flashing Booty In Brazil [PHOTOS]

Uproxx: Celebrities Read Mean Tweets About Themselves

COED: Celtics Dancing Kid Puts Bon Jovi Song Back On Top 100 Billboard

WorldWideInterweb: Chris Farley Stars In ‘Rob Ford: The Movie’

EliteDaily: The Difference Between Boys And Men That Every Woman Should Know

HyperVocal: How Major News And Sporting Events Around The World Affect Porn Traffic

Distractify: The 43 Worst Possible Times To Take A Selfie [PHOTOS]

 

Gawker: Watching porn on your work computer is never a good idea, but it’s an especially bad idea when your job involves testing a Jumbotron outside the train station of a major city in China. Last week, computer technician Yuan Mou inadvertently broadcast ten minutes of porn to hundreds of on-lookers gathered outside of the station in Jilin City. Yuan was hired by Southern Advertising Company to repair the giant LED screen, which had malfunctioned sometime in mid-June. Repairing the screen was apparently something of a full-time job, and Yuan took up residence inside the building the screen was attached to in order to finish the repair. One night last week, probably after a long day of work, Yuan fired up his DVD copy of The Forbidden Legend: Sex and Chopsticks on his work computer, not realizing that the computer was still connected to the LED screen. Approximately ten minutes later, he received a phone call from his employer, letting him know that the porno was being broadcast to hundreds of onlookers scattered throughout the station’s square. Yuan immediately disconnected his computer and ditched the DVD, but by then it was too late. Jilin police took him into custody for questioning on Friday, and he reportedly confessed, though it’s unclear if he’s been charged with any sort of crime.

I guess at least it wasn’t his webcam that was on broadcasting everything, right? Still has to suck tho. Guy works all day wiring up a massive jumbotron and gets in his room to take the edge off and next thing he knows his fetish video of girls popping ping pong balls out of their pussies is airing for all of downtown China to see. To top it off, the company that hired you knows exactly who is to blame and throws your name in the newspaper. I feel a ‘would you rather’ coming on.

DailyMail: They are not known for their sexual prowess and their libidos are notoriously low. So conservationists in China are celebrating after a shy pair of pandas successfully mated while watching a porn video. Vets at the Panda Breeding and Research Base in Chengdu, Sichuan province, Southern China, were worried when inexperienced five-year-old female Colin kept rejecting her mate, Yongyong. To encourage the couple, they played the pair a film of pandas mating to show them what they should be up to. After that, staff at the centre said ‘there was no stopping them’. A spokesman for the centre said: ‘Every time Yongyong tried to mount her, Colin fought him off and we were worried she was going to miss her very short, three-day breeding cycle. ‘So we played them the film and she took great interest in it. ‘After that there was no stopping her and they mated successfully.’ One vet at the centre explained: ‘Colin is in her first year of sexual maturity. ‘In the wild she would have seen lots of other pandas mating so it’s no wonder that she needed a bit of help.’ The success rate of breeding giant pandas in captivity has been notoriously low. Few zoos outside China have managed to achieve results. Females are in season for such a small window and are also known to be very selective on their mates. Breeding in captivity has become vital to the giant pandas’ survival with the destruction of bamboo forests in China and south-east Asia. In the past Zoo keepers at the Chengdu  centre have put their charges through a rigorous exercise scheme – mainly involving apples – with the aim of improving their mating skills. The fruit is dangled from a string above the panda, luring it to stand on two legs. Keepers claim the technique teaches the creatures to perform a dance-like routine that strengthens the pelvic and hip area, boosting the animal’s stamina. The claim this form of  ‘sexercise’ should aid the males when mating.

 

So sounds like they are saying pandas are just like a fat, lazy married couple. I’m no zoologist but I’d say the key they were missing here is alcohol. You’re telling me a little bit of Jameson in their water bowl wouldn’t get things going? Yes, porn would help too, but if I’m a male panda locked in a cage with some fat bitch panda, and someone gives me alcohol and says you’re not leaving til we have baby pandas, she’s not making it out walking straight. After that, just throw a sandwich in my feeder, give me 10 minutes and I’ll continue to give you as many pandas as the population calls for. Not a bad gig the more I think about it but I’m just saying, why not give it a shot?

Bus Driver Accidentally Plays Porno On Bus Trip [NSFW]

Posted: January 29, 2013 by subwaycreatures in Funny
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

 

For any of you who have been on a long bus trip, you know how much they absolutely suck ass. Traffic, uncomfortable sleeping positions, people talking on cell phones, music blasting out of headphones, and overall car sickness. Shiiiiit, commuting to the city on a bus was half the reason I moved to NYC in the first place and that was only a 30 minute bus ride! That being said, how about when you find out your bus driver was or is going to be beating it to porn on the very bus you’re sitting on? Makes you feel uncomfortable but I think I’m rolling with the punches on this one. First person to tell the bus driver of his mistake gets a quick rabbit punch to the back of the head.

Via EliteDaily

And Now For Your WTF Video Of The Week!

Posted: October 9, 2012 by subwaycreatures in Funny, WTF
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

 

It’s kinda like my friend who doesn’t drink cause it’s bad for your liver but will drop acid in a second.

Facebook Creeping

Posted: October 3, 2011 by millertime31 in Funny, Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Boy did ESPN hit the nail on the head with this commercial…

Be honest, how often do you find yourself doing the exact same panic click?