"People watch from the safety of your phone"
The greatest Halloween costume idea of all time? Maybe.
But now every sex offender in a 10 mile radius of these girls know who their next victims should be. No one will ever believe that the girls who cried rape for a week in October are actually be abducted, it’s the perfect plan!
And if god forbid this happens, at least Liam Neeson has another movie to star in.
Forget all those pussies who do Tougher Mud, or Ultimate Warrior Dash, or whatever stupid name is given to those races where people make it seem impossible because you have to run and crawl through a shitty forest.
Leave it up to NYC to host one of the most intense wacky races I have ever read about called URBANATHLON!
This race will have it’s contestants running through thousands of tires, climbing over taxis, over buses, and running through police barricades.
And to top it all off, contestants also must run up and down stairs at Arthur Ashe Stadium and Citi Field. Which will probably look like the 6th inning of every METS game this past year, with their fans running towards all the exits.
I personally can’t wait to do this race, I’ve been training for 6 months and I am so ready…. And if you believed that, you should probably go play in traffic, because the only exercise my fat ass is doing this Sunday is going up and down my steps from my TV Room to the kitchen as I get another beer while watching the Bills game.
But if you are interested, check out: http://www.menshealthurbanathlon.com/
Just went six to midnight over here. There are few things that impress me in this world, but seeing such a beauty do this with a full size banana, I am completely ready to give her the password to my back account. I am in love..
**Editors note, while I didn’t notice anything else in this video but this woman’s amazing sucking canal, our main editor wanted me to point out the little kids behind her in the pool, making me once again question what team is he truly playing for**
Boy did ESPN hit the nail on the head with this commercial…
Be honest, how often do you find yourself doing the exact same panic click?
No this isn’t my Friday night Craigslist Ad, this is all I could think of when I saw this video.
Do you think he had to buy two tickets, one for his left cheek and one for his right?
I just want to give this guy a hug, and then hibernate in his lard for winter.
Now this is how you market your product!!!
Let’s face it, the Seattle Seahawks are a frigging joke, and quite honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the last time you ever read about them on the entire web.
But, for being so awful, QB Tavaris Jackson actually won a prize. NuVo condoms are sending him a box of condoms as part of their ‘extra protection’ program.
Jackson was the most sacked (5) QB of week one, so he is the lucky winner.
NuVO plans to keep this campaign up all year.
What a great idea, the last thing we need in this world is for another NFL player to end up with 7 children with women from different states, a la Antonio Cromartie.
Here is a recent Cromartie family Holiday Card: (Don’t be a fool folks, wrap your tool!)
Kids across America that are soon starting another school year, let us give you a quick tip; Do Not, I repeat, DO NOT cheat off of any kids whose fathers may play for the Oakland Raiders, because doing so will keep you in 3rd grade for years to come.
Reports have been surfacing today that the Oakland Raiders rookie Quarterback, Terrelle Pryor , scored a 7 on his Wonderlic IQ Test. That’s 7 out of 50…or 14% for you math nerds out there.
NFL teams IDEALLY want their QB to score around 21 on this test (aka be smarter than a piece of cow dung). The highest score of an active QB in the league belongs to the Buffalo Bills Ryan Fitzpatrick (GO BILLS!). Fitz scored a 48 on the test in only 9 minutes. But I guess you can say he cheated because he did play his college ball at Harvard, and wasn’t involved in some very bad off-the-field decision making that made him leave school early, ahem Pryor
Now does having a horrible score translate into a shitty NFL career? I don’t think there is an answer to that, but if your reading this blog on the toilet(and just smiled bc you really are), take a courtesy flush and read more about the correlation in this Sport’s Journal article.
Update: Here is an exclusive video of Pryor’s reaction to his test scores:
Jesus Rex, can you tone down that smile a bit? So you won some award that was made up by your stadium’s new investor by beating the New York Giants, in what had to be the worst preseason game of the NFL season so far. Big Friggin’ Deal.
Didn’t your players just brag about how they are going to be scoring 28-30 points a game against their opponents this year, only to barely score 7 points while racking up only 113 in a littler over a half of play? That’s should be making the coaches quoting Charlie Brown ‘Good Grief’ rather then sporting their pearly whites holding this piece of scrap metal.
You know who the real winner of this game was? The New England Patriots. Because now the media can once again be on Tom Brady’s nuts on how they are going to win the AFC East again this year, since the only real competition isn’t exactly scaring anyone yet (offensively at least).
My early season prediction? The Jets sneak into the playoffs as a wild-card team, only to lose once again at Pittsburgh.
On a side note, too bad this wasn’t the Garfield award, imagine all the funny jokes that could have been with that one.
SubwayCreatures 