Fire Tornadoes Might Be The Scariest, Coolest Natural Events Ever

 

Imagine one of these things coming at you? I’m from NYC so we don’t get many tornadoes, but when you throw fire into the mix, it’s scarier than finding out you and Rosie O’Donnell are the last two people on Earth and the human race depends on your procreation.

Giants/Jets Outlook: Week 5

Despite all the injuries they’ve endured, the Giants are playing smash mouth football right now and that streak will continue right into this weekend. Seattle comes to GIANTS STADIUM Sunday where they are 1-6 all time. With not much to offer on either side of the ball, I’m actually surprised they are only receiving 9 points in this game. Expect the G-Men to light up the scoreboard and the defense to have another solid week and if Tuck returns, things might even get uglier. No fucking way do the Giants win this game by less than 9 points and I’m all over the U/O at 43.5.

419 Seattle Seahawks +9½  -110 +350
43½ O -110
U -110
17 O -115
U -115
420 New York Giants -9½  -110 -450
27 O -110
U -120
Week 5
Now…onto the goddamn Jets. I cannot fuckin predict one thing right with this team. They are all over the place. Not that it gets any better going into New England this weekend but the only light I can see at the end of the tunnel is how bad the Patriots defense is. No, I’m not saying the Jets are going to win this weekend but the 9 point spread has me scratching my chin. No doubt the Patriots will put up big numbers but I’m thinking the Jets might do the same thing. If Sanchez can put that miserable display of football last week behind him and actually throw an accurate pass, then they might be able to keep this game close. Also expect the Jets to do a lot of running in this game. I’m going to go out on a limb and say the Jets will lose but not by more than 9 points. Definitely taking that over at 48.5.
423 New York Jets +9  -110 +350
48½ O -110
U -110
20 O -110
U -120
424 New England Patriots -9  -110 -450
28½ O -125
U -105
Week 5

Seattle Seahawks QB Strikes It Rich!

Now this is how you market your product!!!

Let’s face it, the Seattle Seahawks are a frigging joke, and quite honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the last time you ever read about them on the entire web.

But, for being so awful, QB Tavaris Jackson actually won a prize.  NuVo condoms are sending him a box of condoms as part of their ‘extra protection’ program.

Jackson was the most sacked (5) QB of week one, so he is the lucky winner.

NuVO plans to keep this campaign up all year.

What a great idea, the last thing we need in this world is for another NFL player to end up with 7 children with women from different states, a la Antonio Cromartie.

Here is a recent Cromartie family Holiday Card: (Don’t be a fool folks, wrap your tool!)