Archive for May, 2012

Why Is This Robotic Ass A Real Thing?

Posted: May 29, 2012 by subwaycreatures in Dumb, Strange
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I’ll tell you what’s not at the top of my Christmas list next year. A robotic ass that makes queef noises and puffs up like something is living inside when you slap it. Yes, the Asians are so much more advanced then us in technology but does it matter when that technology is completely useless?

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Get it? Cause I’m probably gonna pee my bed this weekend! Anyway have a safe one!

 

Really drilling home the whole diarrhea thing…

Truck Rolls Over And Hits Car Head On

Posted: May 25, 2012 by subwaycreatures in Awesome, Dumb
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Love the driver of the car looking at his dented bumper like it’s a limited edition Ferrari. Pay no attention to the truck driver bleeding from the head, looking like a mime trapped in a box.

 

Friday is right around the corner and then 3 day weekend. Hang in there people!

The Crazy Cuban Honey Badger; As Narrated By Randall

Posted: May 24, 2012 by subwaycreatures in Funny, Strange

 

Pretty sure this is the real reason we closed our borders to Cuba. This asshole will live til he’s 100 years old and I’ll die by tripping down my apartment stairs cause that’s the way life goes. Unreal.

If you are a huge fan of Game Of Thrones like I am, then you’ll appreciate this. Not gonna lie, I wouldn’t recognize some of these people out of costume if they were walking down the street.

 

 

One thing I’ve learned from going to these things; there’s one firestarter in every group. Only thing is this guy is a party of one and bringing it all like the Mayan calendar is a real thing. I can just picture him walking out of his house dressed like a 5th grader going to a pool party, telling his wife he’s going to blow off some steam. Next thing he knows he’s in the middle of Electric Daisy Carnival starting huge dance parties.

 

Hot girls always seem to find each other just like these 3 chicks here. All 10s and helping us get over hump day!

Side note: You kidding me with these two parts?

 

Minus the props, I have a couple friends like this. Old as fuck still getting pampered at home. Not sure they go as far as having their psycho mothers change their diapers but let’s just say they are still dependent on the little things. This show has gotta be one of the scariest shows on TV. Some of the other stories they do are bad but this has got to be the most horrifying one I’ve seen. Straight up reminds me of Francis from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. Guy has issues beyond therapy and he shouldn’t be allowed out of his crib. Perfect girl for this guy? Courtney Stodden only because I feel like they are mentally on the same level and she clearly likes creeps. For the second part of the video click here.

Most disturbing line: I feel like when I’m wearing a diaper, it’s a constant hug from Mommy.