The Sexual Assault Creeper In The NYC Subway Story Is Weird

2013_11_subwaysicko

 

Gothamist: The police have released a photograph of a man accused of a sexual assault in a midtown Manhattan subway station on Sunday, in hopes that the public can identify him. According to the NYPD, a 19-year-old man was riding a downtown D train from West 155th Street and 8th Avenue at 11:45 a.m. When he sat down, the suspect was “standing across from him, touching his groin area over his clothing.” The police said the suspect approached the victim and directed him to exit the train with him at Columbus Circle-59th Street. They boarded another train to the West 50th C/E station, where the suspect led the victim to the north end of the downtown platform and forced him to perform a criminal sex act. The suspect then stole the victim’s backpack and fled in an arriving downtown train. The victim also got on the train, retrieved his backpack, took a photograph of the suspect with his cellphone and then left the train. The suspect is described as a man in his 30s, about 6′, 190 pounds and wearing a grey jacket, beige pants and a black knit hat. Anyone with information in regards to this incident is asked to call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-577-TIPS (8477). The public can also submit tips by logging onto the Crime Stoppers website at WWW.NYPDCRIMESTOPPERS.COM or by texting their tips to 274637 (CRIMES) then enter TIP577.

I’ve read this story 3 times now and does anyone else find it bizarre? So some guy is sitting on the train rubbing his dick and tells you to get off the train–so you do?? Never mentions anything about him having a weapon or being threatening but he walks you to another train where you get on with him and then proceed to follow him to the end of the platform for a handie/beej? THEN, he steals your backpack and gets onto another train where you follow him and not only take the backpack back, but you snap a picture of the guy as he falls asleep a couple minutes later with you standing next to him? I’m not saying this didn’t happen and obviously this guy needs to get caught, but there are a lot of holes in this story. I would love to hear the other guy’s version.

Crazy Woman On NYC Subway Claims ‘You Gave Me AIDS!’

 

AIDS is still a thing?? Thought they cured that a little while back but guess thanks to these two it’s back in full swing. There are so many things wrong with this couple I barely know where to start. Should’ve been over when Itchy Dick said OK you got AIDS, now what? Instead she decided to keep going and he kept telling her that she gave herself AIDS. But the best was the reaction of these two chicks. Priceless.

Screen shot 2013-10-03 at 12.03.16 PM

Side note: If Jimmy Kimmel was behind this he can go fuck himself

UPDATE: Yep, sure enough this has been verified as a prank. No surprise there.

Sometimes In Life A Milkshake Hits You In The Face From A Passing Train

 

Sometimes this is just how life goes. You’re late for work, you don’t want to be in the subway in the first place, and next thing you know a fuckin’ milkshake slaps you upside your head from a passing train. Although I’m calling internet bullshit because why was this dude filming in the perfect spot while a random train passes in the first place? He’s either in on it or this was setup from the beginning. Damn you Jimmy Kimmel!

 

Screen shot 2013-09-27 at 3.32.54 PM