"People watch from the safety of your phone"
The greatest Halloween costume idea of all time? Maybe.
But now every sex offender in a 10 mile radius of these girls know who their next victims should be. No one will ever believe that the girls who cried rape for a week in October are actually be abducted, it’s the perfect plan!
And if god forbid this happens, at least Liam Neeson has another movie to star in.
The Smoking Gun:
A New Mexico woman repeatedly stabbed her boyfriend after accusing him of cheating during a Monopoly game early yesterday, according to police. Laura Chavez, 60, and her boyfriend were playing the popular board game at her Santa Fe apartment when the dispute occurred. Chavez allegedly admitted stabbing her beau, Clyde “Butch” Smith, with a kitchen knife. Police reported that both Chavez and the 48-year-old Smith appeared to be intoxicated. The man, who cops found bleeding heavily from wounds on his head and right wrist, was hospitalized yesterday in stable condition. Smith told investigators that Chavez first hit him over the head with a glass bottle and then “grabbed a knife and began cutting him, causing injuries to the top of his head, neck, left eye brow and right wrist area.” When cops arrived at Chavez’s building, she was sitting under the porch “covered with suspected blood.” Asked if the blood was Smith’s, she answered, “Yes, I fucked him up.” Chavez went to jail on a variety of charges, including aggravated battery on a household member with a deadly weapon and battery on a law enforcement officer. She is being held in the Santa Fe county lockup in lieu of $5000 bond.
I don’t have any sympathy for Clyde in this situation. Do you know how many times I’ve felt like I’ve wanted to do the exact same thing? You own the entire left side of the boardwalk, I keep landing in jail, and the goddamn Chance cards are just giving me ‘Roll Agains’ which just put me back on your property! I honestly feel like the 99% at OccupyWallStreet when I play this fuckin’ game. Cold, lonely, homeless, and wondering what the fuck I’m doing. The game should come with a disclaimer not to drink alcohol while playing to avoid exact shit like this. Do you know what a great feeling it must have been for Laura when she told the cops ‘Yes, I fucked him up’? Yea, he might have beat me in Monopoly but I’m not the one bleeding and crying in the corner right now!
Um, Ma’am, they dead…
CBSNews:
Police say they found a man barbecuing a raccoon in the parking lot of a Memphis, Tenn. apartment complex when they were summoned there on Monday. Then, according to NBC station KSDK, investigators stumbled upon buckets of unknown material at the scene. That’s when they called in their meth task force. The investigation led them to the apartment of another man, Adam Eubank, identified as the brother of the “top raccoon chef.” According to KSDK, police arrested the 26-year-old, and charged him with promoting the manufacture of methamphetamine. Police said it appears Eubank used cold medicine to create meth at least 3 times in the last year. He was jailed on a $75,000 bond.
Nothing to see here just roasting a raccoon in the middle of a parking lot. Meth heads will be meth heads. I seriously need to get down to the south and check out this third world country that I always read so much about. I’m saying just a visit, not to live there of course. Meth heads, leprechauns in trees, fights at Waffle House at 3 AM, domestic violence around every corner, etc. etc. I honestly don’t know how people survive down there but then again they are probably saying the same thing about New Yorkers.
Treasure hanging out…
MyFoxDC:
A man caught having sex with a donkey told a court in Zimbabwe the animal was actually a prostitute who turned into a donkey in the night. Sunday Moyo, 28, was found by police officers performing a sex act on the donkey, who was lying on the ground tied to a tree, just after 4:00am local time, a court in Zvishavane, about 185 miles (300 kilometers) south of the capital Harare, heard. He was arrested Monday in the Mandava township of Zvishavane and charged with bestiality, the New Zimbabwe newspaper reported. Admitting the crime, Moyo told the court, “Your worship, I only came to know that I was being intimate with a donkey when I got arrested. I had hired a prostitute and paid US$20 for the service at Down Town night club, and I don’t know how she then became a donkey.” He also claimed he was in love with the animal, telling the court, “I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with [the] donkey,” The Herald newspaper reported. Moyo was remanded in custody until Oct. 27 and will be examined by two government psychiatrists.
Wow what a day for blogging in the sex world. Was it a full moon last night or did I miss some weird sex holiday? We got pervs making out with cardboard cutouts, naked chicks running down highways, and now Moyo here got caught banging a donkey that he swears started out as a prostitute he picked up at a night club. Now this might be an ignorant question but where the hell are there night clubs in Zimbabwe? When I think of Zimbabwe I think The Lion King and I’m pretty sure other than that crazy monkey tree, there were no night clubs in that movie.
Moyo here clearly had the ultimate beer goggles on the night before. He actually mistook a donkey for a decent looking hooker only to wake up and find out he had his dick in a different kind of ass. But now the worst part is that he’s in love with the donkey. Common mistake Moyo. You never fall in love when you have to pay for the sex and $20 at that! You can’t turn a donkey into a housewife so get over it and move on.
Daily Mail:
A topless, drunken woman led police on a car chase along route 422 at speeds of up to 128mph before surrendering to officers. Erin B. Holdsworth, 28, of Hiram, Ohio, was found to be wearing only fishnet stockings, a g-string and high heels when she was arrested in Auburn Township. Officers used stingers along the highway to disable two of Holdsworth’s tires and she was forced to pull over on the side of the road a short time later. When they approached her vehicle, the nearly-naked woman got out and staggered across the road before she was handcuffed. She has been charged with operating a vehicle impaired (OVI), refusing a blood alcohol test, fleeing and eluding, criminal damage, driving under a suspended licence, speeding and reckless operation at Chardon Municipal Court. Chief Jon Bokovitz, of the Bainbridge Police Department, said Holdsworth was taken to a Geauga County Safety Center after her arrest on October 11, before she was released pending the charges, Fox News reported.
TheBershireEagle.com
PITTSFIELD — A convicted sex offender admitted he kissed and fondled a cardboard cutout of a woman, which was part of a North Street pharmacy’s advertising display. Charlie J. Price, 57, of Pittsfield, pleaded guilty to a single count of disturbing the peace, subsequent offense, and was ordered to pay a $200 fine by Central Berkshire District Court Judge Fredric D. Rutberg. Saturday around 5 p.m., Price, who was allegedly intoxicated, walked into the Rite Aid pharmacy, “grabbed hold of the sunglass display, hugged it tightly and then began to lick and kiss the face of the female party on the display,” according to a Pittsfield Police report. This behavior lasted about a minute, according to police, and ended when Price fell to the floor. He eventually got back on his feet and began yelling and screaming, according to the police report. Meanwhile, Price’s behavior apparently scared customers who “actively” tried to get away from the area. Price was arrested by the Pittsfield Police. Price is a level 3 sex offender, and therefore is considered to be at a high risk for reoffending. In 1991, he was convicted of indecent assault and battery on a child under 14. Last year, he was convicted of open and gross lewdness and lascivious behavior, according to the Sex Offender Registry Board.
Jesus, for $200 this guy coulda dialed up a chick from Craigslist and actually had human sex. I’ve been pretty drunk before in my life but I’m pretty sure not drunk enough to be making out with cardboard cutouts in a pharmacy. I hope they didn’t keep that whore standing in the middle of the pharmacy though because that’s just embarrassing after being sexually assaulted. Wrap her in a blanket and throw her in the rape shower.
I’ve always said ‘We’ve all seen a 40 MPH crash test, but show me 120 MPH crash test.’ Wish granted. I’d say the rear wheels were the thing recognizable after this little experiment and the next thing I want to see is a Smart Car do this same test. I’ll be patiently waiting…
TSG:
A Pennsylvania couple is facing an assortment of criminal charges for having sex on a city bus, carnal activity that was captured by the vehicle’s surveillance camera. According to a police criminal complaint, Amanda Confer, 24, boarded the bus on a Friday afternoon in late-August. She was “accompanied by her infant daughter,” a detective reported. Also riding the bus through Montoursville that day were “Pre-release inmates” Randell Peterson and Joshua Schill. The men were part of a work release program that allows inmates to come and go from the county jail at specified times. Investigators allege that Confer and Peterson, 32, sat next to each other in the rear of the bus, with Schill sitting in front of them. Before the illicit action commenced, however, Confer “turned over her infant daughter” to Schill, who apparently served as babysitter/lookout during the subsequent rendezvous. In short order, Confer and Peterson moved from hugging and kissing to oral sex (which was provided by Confer). “After a couple of minutes of oral sex,” Detective Alberto Diaz reported, Confer “lowered her underwear” and, “upon sitting on” Peterson’s lap, “both defendants proceeded to have sexual intercourse for several minutes.” Shortly after the tryst ended, Peterson and Schill exited the bus together, while Confer continued to ride on with her daughter.
Reason #1,233 why I don’t ride the goddamn bus. The only good part was that this guy was coming from prison so you know it didn’t last longer than 1 minute. I’ve actually seen a chick giving some dude head on a bus once but it was at night when the lights were out and the windows were tinted. That makes it a little bit better but still, come on! I’ll give ya props if you can pull this off and it would make for a great story but what about when the bus has cameras and you’re a pre-released inmate? This chick should get more time than the guy cause you know she instigated all of this. How do I know this? Oh yea I forgot to show her facebook status.
SubwayCreatures 