Category: News

Penn State Assholes Riot After JoPa Is Fired

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I’m putting the usual sarcastic/joking blog aside for a second here. Everyone loves a good riot, especially drunk college kids. Hell, I remember rioting in Rhode Island after the Red Sox came back on the Yankees when they were down 3 games to none and I hated both teams. But that was over a baseball game. I’m really trying to figure out what the hell these kids could possibly be rioting about. Yea, your historic head coach got fired but let’s look at the circumstances. He knew about little kids getting fondled and turned his back. When kids come into play and numerous people including coaches are involved, of course PSU is going to clean house. Anything less would be condoning it and obviously the right decision was made. I’m tired of hearing from fans and alumni on Facebook and Twitter that there was some kind of injustice done here. I don’t feel bad for you. You know who I feel bad for? The kids who were victimized in this case. Why don’t you listen to their story before flipping news vans and destroying your own college campus. You’re embarrassing yourselves. [http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2011/11/sister_of_sandusky_victim_talk.html]

I have two 11-year old sisters and if I ever found out something like this happened to them I would be doing my own kind of rioting at Penn St. I would be like Denzel Washington in ‘Man On Fire’ and blow up Joe Paterno’s house along with every person involved. The kids are going to be traumatized for the rest of their lives and there’s no changing that and all you people care about is Penn St. football. Unreal.

 

UPDATE: Apparently these guys were pimping these little kids out to other rich diddlers? Getting fired should be the least of their worries right now. Any Penn State supporter should sit down and shut the fuck up because if you support this you’re just as guilty as those involved. A sad day for PSU…deal with it!

So Mariah Yeater Really Put Herself In A Lose/Lose Situation Huh?

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O.J. Simpson’s face looked less guilty than this chick’s. I love when the comment comes up that if the paternity test is negative, she’s getting sued by Biebs and if it’s positive, she might be charged with having sex with a minor. You put yourself in one hell of a position there toots. Sprinkle a little bit of crack of her and let’s get the hell out of here. Open and shut case Johnson!

Even More Bizarre Pictures Of Bieber’s Baby Mama

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Holy shit Biebs! What kind of cluster fuck did you get yourself into? Your girlfriend left you, you hooked up with a subway creature and now you might have a kid on the way at age 17. I want to sit here and hope you had just finished smoking salvia with Miley Cyrus when you met this chick but a part of me is just saying that’s not the case. I’m confident even I couldn’t do this bad on my drunkest night. Please come up with some elaborate story to back these allegations up ASAP or give her hush money! I want this girl out of the news and I never want to hear about her again.

 

UPDATE: Apparently Biebs is still with his girl, he’s going to take a DNA test to prove this bitch wrong, and this psycho who claims Biebs knocked her up has pulled this stunt with her ex so clearly she’s looking for money and attention. Fuckin’ chicks man…

Brutal Machete Attack In Paterson, NJ

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Paterson, you’ve been quiet for a while. Glad to see you still have it in you to make headlines every now and then. Growing up in the Paterson area, there’s one thing I always knew: Stay away from all fried chicken places after sundown! These places turn into the bar in ‘From Dusk Til Dawn’. Killer creatures coming out of everywhere with machetes and shit. I was waiting for George Clooney to come through the window and save the day but even he knows to stay out of fried chicken stores in Paterson after dark. You go in for a drum stick, thigh, and maybe some rice on the side and you leave on a stretcher.

Also, does this guy just casually walk around with a machete in his pants? Not really sure what that machete was made of either cause after 14 hacks with it I was expecting that poor guy to look like a Yankee in pinstripes but I didn’t even notice any blood.

Woman Jumps In Front Of F-Train After Hearing Of Kim K. And Kris Humphries Divorce

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Gothamist.com:

Last night, just before 8 p.m., a young woman jumped from the platform onto the tracks as a Brooklyn-bound F train pulled into the Delancey/Essex Street station. Passengers were quickly removed from the train (though some were stuck in the dark for up to 30 minutes) as the FDNY pulled the woman from the tracks. But on the plus side, it appears the woman will be okay? According to Animal New York, “The conductor was reportedly overheard telling her, ‘Just don’t move, okay?’ and she responded, ‘Okay.'” The FDNY tells us that the woman, whose name and age they didn’t have, was transported to Bellevue “alert and conscious.” The MTA had no further information on the incident.

 

Well, she didn’t really jump in front of the train because of Kim Kardashian’s divorce but it wouldn’t surprise me if she did it because she couldn’t take hearing about it in the news anymore. I was tempted myself when I saw that C-Train speeding into the station this morning, but this is exactly how my luck would go. I can’t take hearing about the Kardashians and Biebers and occupy wall street anymore so I throw myself onto the tracks of an oncoming train only to break my arm and have to pay thousands of dollars in medical bills. Life’s a bitch sometimes isn’t it?

Let’s Rate Justin Bieber’s Baby Mama

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Mariah Yeater’s account of the night Justin Bieber impregnated her:

“Immediately, it was obvious that we were mutually attracted to one another, and we began to kiss. Shortly thereafter, Justin Bieber suggested that I go with him to a private place where we could be alone. I agreed to go with him and on the walk to a private area, he told me he wanted to make love to me and this was going to be his first time.”

At this point the two went to a bathroom. “We went inside and immediately his personality changed drastically. He began touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to fuck the shit out of me. At the time I asked him to put a condom for protection, but he insisted that he did not want to. In his own words, he said that because it was his first time he wanted to feel everything. He was on top of me with my legs around him. At the time I was on top of some type of shelf. The sexual intercourse itself was brief, lasting only approximately 30 seconds.”

I love the line where she says “it was obvious that we were mutually attracted to one another.” Just look at her face, I mean how can you resist THAT? Especially Justin Bieber who could probably bang any chick he wants. If Bieber lost his virginity to this chick and not Selena Gomez or even that Argentinian model then I’ve lost faith in all mankind. I’m pretty sure that little shit’s nuts haven’t even dropped yet so don’t go with the story that he wanted to lose his virginity to you and it was over in 30 seconds. Likely story whore. Go on ‘Maury’, take a paternity test, and in a couple weeks I guarantee you we see Bieber doing this dance across the stage…

Pre-Released Inmate Has Sex With Girlfriend On Bus In Front Of Everyone

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TSG:

A Pennsylvania couple is facing an assortment of criminal charges for having sex on a city bus, carnal activity that was captured by the vehicle’s surveillance camera. According to a police criminal complaint, Amanda Confer, 24, boarded the bus on a Friday afternoon in late-August. She was “accompanied by her infant daughter,” a detective reported. Also riding the bus through Montoursville that day were “Pre-release inmates” Randell Peterson and Joshua Schill. The men were part of a work release program that allows inmates to come and go from the county jail at specified times. Investigators allege that Confer and Peterson, 32, sat next to each other in the rear of the bus, with Schill sitting in front of them. Before the illicit action commenced, however, Confer “turned over her infant daughter” to Schill, who apparently served as babysitter/lookout during the subsequent rendezvous. In short order, Confer and Peterson moved from hugging and kissing to oral sex (which was provided by Confer). “After a couple of minutes of oral sex,” Detective Alberto Diaz reported, Confer “lowered her underwear” and, “upon sitting on” Peterson’s lap, “both defendants proceeded to have sexual intercourse for several minutes.” Shortly after the tryst ended, Peterson and Schill exited the bus together, while Confer continued to ride on with her daughter.

Reason #1,233 why I don’t ride the goddamn bus. The only good part was that this guy was coming from prison so you know it didn’t last longer than 1 minute. I’ve actually seen a chick giving some dude head on a bus once but it was at night when the lights were out and the windows were tinted. That makes it a little bit better but still, come on! I’ll give ya props if you can pull this off and it would make for a great story but what about when the bus has cameras and you’re a pre-released inmate? This chick should get more time than the guy cause you know she instigated all of this. How do I know this? Oh yea I forgot to show her facebook status.

One Of The More Intense Videos From Any Of The #Occupy Cities

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I wasn’t sure if I was watching a video from #OccupyOakland or Saving Private Ryan. Bombs going off everywhere, people yelling for a medic, one guy was shot by something…Oakland handles their protests a little differently than everyone else. Imagine if this happened in NYC? Just complete anarchy everywhere. Speaking of NY, a lot of people keep asking me if I think the protesters will make it through the winter down there. Does everyone not realize that those are hippies/hipsters down there? This is what they live for and I’m sure they’ve been in worse conditions. If anything, the same people who are feeding them for free down there will provide them with some kind of warmth and drag this thing out. I’m sure Bloomberg is praying for another blizzard like last year to clean house.