Category: News

Professor Tells Stuttering Student Not To Talk During Class

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Gawker:

Phillip Garber (seen in the video above) is a 16 year-old in New Jersey who’s so smart that he’s already taking classes at a local college. Good for you Phillip! Phillip also stutters. Now that the emotional/ inspirational setup is in place, let’s get to the meat of the madness! The NYT reportsthat Phillip’s college history professor, Elizabeth Snyder, grew so impatient with his stutter that she ordered Phillip not to speak in class, and refused to call on him. As for questions she asks in class, Ms. Snyder suggested, “I believe it would be better for everyone if you kept a sheet of paper on your desk and wrote down the answers.” Later, he said, she told him, “Your speaking is disruptive.” Later Snyder was quoted saying “He misinterpreted this and assumed it had something to do with his stuttering; I interpreted his hand up for 75 minutes as someone unfamiliar with a college lecture format and frankly a little rude,” she said. “In hindsight, I should have stopped my lecture and called on Philip because he had become so fixated on making a statement that it didn’t seem to matter to him that he was interrupting my presentation.”


Jesus Christ was this painful! The video is 11 minutes long and I’m pretty sure the kid said two sentences. I’m 100% against bullying and we’ve all seen what that leads to but come on! The kid is a 16 year old know-it-all, already in college and I’m sure he’s trying to impress the socks off of everyone by answering every goddamn question the professor asks. She’s got 75 minutes to cram as much useless information into those hungover student’s heads. I don’t blame her for that and of course this kid is going to play the stutter card. Hey Phil, it’s not always about you so stop being selfish and think about the other people in the class.

 

A New Kind Of Porn: Skydiving Sex

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XXX:

Alex Torres (born: Alexandre Boisvert; aliases: VooDoo Child, Voodoo, Voo Doo, Lex) is a French Canadian skydiver and porn actor currently living in California, who wanted to get the attention of Howard Stern. So he shot a video, set to Katy Perry’s “E.T.”, of him having sex with Hope Howell, a receptionist at Skydive Taft School in Bakersfield, where he works. But they weren’t just having sex. They were having sex in the plane. They were having sex as they jumped out together. And they were still having sex as they hurtled towards the ground. Torres then posted the video to his website, and it started to make the rounds at a local high school. That’s when the authorities got involved. No one actually saw them, so they can’t be nabbed on public indecency charges, but having sex on a plane could be a violation of federal regulations — particularly as it occurred in this tape, seated in a jump seat right next to the pilot. The Federal Aviation Administration is currently reviewing the tape to see if the pilot was distracted.

 

Just when you thought porn couldn’t get any better, BAM! Free-fall fucking. Love this guy for being an entrepreneur and I’m almost shocked this wasn’t thought of earlier. This just jumped to the top of my bucket list above snorting a rail with Charlie Sheen off a porn star’s ass and spending 24 hours at the Playboy Mansion. I’m sure the FAA doesn’t give a shit about this since there are bigger things to worry about like terrorists flying planes into buildings but they have to do something since all the soccer moms on the ground found something to complain about. Haters gonna hate but let’s just hope Alex finished on the ground and not on his decent.

NYC Idiot Subway Surfs Outside Of The J Train, A MUST SEE!!!

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WTSP.com:

One man’s thrill-seeking antics on a subway train are sparking a crackdown on what’s known as “subway surfing.” And as CBS 2’s Kathryn Brown reports, it was all caught on video. They were some of the luckiest moments of a man’s life – the day he decided to try what’s known as “subway surfing” … and live to tell about it. Stunned straphangers riding the J train captured the stunt on their cell phonesand later posted it to YouTube. Some were concerned it was an emergency until they saw the man interacting with them. He’s seen grinning and putting his fingers to his lips. The man’s high-speed antics are part of a recent underground trend where thrill-seekers latch onto the outside of moving trains – risking their own lives as well as others. “I think it’s stupid and crazy,” subway rider Brandon Santori told Brown. The Metropolitan Transportation Authority agrees, calling the man’s actions both stupid and dangerous in a statement: “We have referred it to the transit bureau of the NYPD for investigation.” However, this incident was far from being an isolated incident. The fad is growing in popularity. The MTA has launched a campaign warning riders not to try this – something, you might think, would be common sense. Police confirmed Tuesday night people have been killed attempting these kinds of dangerous stunts, but neither the MTA nor NYPD keep track of those statistics.

 

Finally! A true subway creature! I blogged about subway surfing a while back but this takes it to another level. What do you possibly have to be on to think this is a great idea. To be honest, I agree with this guy recording, I kinda like this dude. If I die, I die! Just riding the outside of that train like he’s in a new Lethal Weapon movie. And then the little subway rat jumps into a doorway and starts running around the inside of the wall. Who is this guy? Hell yea I wanna Facebook him!

 

Eight Partiers Force Way Into Old Man’s Apartment, Throw Week Long Bash

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OCRegister.com:

SANTA ANA – A group of men and women are suspected of taking over a 62-year-old man’s apartment for more than a week as they used the residence for parties, drugs and other illicit activities while the man lived in fear, police said. Officers responded about 5 a.m. Friday to requests for a welfare check on a man living in an apartment complex in the 3300 block of West Camille Street. A neighbor reported that several suspected gang members had forced their way into the man’s apartment and stayed there for more than a week, Santa Ana police Cpl. Anthony Bertagna said. The man, who authorities identified as a veteran who suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, was reportedly afraid to leave his residence. Police found six men and two female juveniles at the residence, all of whom were arrested. Investigators allege that Andrew Perez, 19, was the ringleader of the group. They didn’t appear to have any previous relationship or friendship with the victim, police said. People were going in and out of the man’s apartment all week, Bertagna said, forcing the victim into his bedroom at the end of the evenings as they partied in the rest of the residence. While the victim wasn’t physically injured, his apartment was wrecked, Bertagna said. Police are working with veteran’s groups and the social services department to get him assistance.

 

So these clown dicks forced their way into this guy’s house and partied for a week and he never called police? If there were ever a case of Stockholm Syndrome, this is definitely the time for it. ‘Oh you want me to chug a 40 oz. of Old English and blow a line off that chick’s ass? OK, but just please don’t hurt me.’ Even though this sounds like the plot to some bad Pauly Shore movie, the other thing I’m curious about is how it took a week for neighbors to realize a full on raging party was going on in a 62-year-old’s apartment. ‘Wow, Gene’s really livin’ it up down there this week, huh Martha? Do ya think we should check on him?’ ‘No, I’m sure he’s just got some company over to watch the game.’ ‘Yea you’re probably right. Oh, look at that there’s a young man licking whip cream off a girl’s breasts.’

Fucking epic!

So The Trailer For ‘Paranormal Activity 3’ Made Me Shit Myself

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Little girls in nightgowns never fail to scare the shit out of me and this movie looks like that’s pretty much what it’s based on. I wasn’t too big on the first two of these movies but this one looks like it has potential. Considering I have the chills from only watching the trailer, I’m pretty sure this one will force me to sleep with a night light like I’m 4 years old again.

PinkVisual Has The Right Idea Building A Porn Bunker For The Coming 2012 Apocalypse

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PinkVisual:

As you might have read in the news this morning, we’re building an enormous underground bunker in preparation for the Apocalypse that various prognosticators and ancient calendar interpreters have predicted will take place in December of 2012. To answer the two main questions that are likely burning in your mind right about now (based on the responses we’ve received from media outlets to our press release this morning):

– Yes, we’re serious about this.

– No, I mean it: we really are building a great big underground bunker.

Why are we doing this, you ask? Look at this way; if the Apocalypse doesn’t happen in 2012, we will still have the coolest bunker on the planet, and we can use it as a location to shoot content in, rent it out to other studios –  maybe even major Hollywood studios – to use, or maybe even open a big underground strip club (although getting the requisite permits to do might be an issue with respect to that idea, admittedly). On the other hand, if the Apocalypse does happen, we’re in good shape, while all the people currently saying we’re nuts for building this bunker will be the ones who find themselves screwed.

 

Honestly, what does PinkVisual have to lose here? Love the idea and the floor plans look perfect. It’s really good to see they have their priorities together and I want in! While the rest of the world is killing each other for food and water, I’ll be sitting center stage drinkin’ bubbly and makin’ dollar bills rain on the hottest strippers around. I almost can’t wait for December 2012 now…

UFOs Make An Appearance Over NYC Last Night

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I don’t even wanna hear that “weather balloon and Chinese lantern” bullshit. We are probably going to be under attack by this weekend and it’s gonna fuck all my plans up! They always said if anything were to happen, NYC would be the first place they’d hit since we are the center of the universe and goddamn it I guess that time has come. I’m shocked I didn’t wake up this morning with a space ship hoovering over the Empire State Building with mandatory evacuations and Will Smith trying to save the day. Just like the guy said in the second video, “they want the major population centers wiped out.” Goddamn it just give me one more weekend!

Grocer Pleads Guilty To Giving Out Free Yogurt Samples Tainted With Semen

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MSNBC:

A grocery store worker accused of handing out a semen-tainted yogurt sample at an Albuquerque market pleaded guilty Thursday. Under terms of his plea agreement, Anthony Garcia admitted he tainted a sample of the yogurt he was handing out at Sunflower Market in January. He also admitted putting some of his semen on a plastic spoon that he placed with the yogurt. Garcia then approached a female customer and offered her a sample. “The criminal conduct to which Anthony Garcia pleaded guilty today is completely outrageous,” U.S. Attorney Kenneth J. Gonzales said after Garcia’s appearance in federal court. “No one should have to endure this type of experience simply because she or he accepts a food sample while shopping for groceries.” Garcia, 32, pleaded guilty to charges of adulterating food and making false statements to federal investigators. The woman told police that after tasting the sample, she spit on the floor several times and wiped her mouth on the garment she was wearing to get the taste out of her mouth. Investigators collected samples of the woman’s spit from the floor and took the garment she was wearing as evidence. Police say Garcia was linked to the yogurt through DNA samples. Authorities said Garcia then lied to investigators about the case. In court documents, federal prosecutors called the allegations “sickening and appalling.” Garcia faces up to three years of imprisonment to be followed by three years of supervised release. He has been in federal custody since his arrest in July and remained detained pending his sentencing, which has yet to be scheduled.

 

OK so what have we learned here today? 1) You can get up to 3 years for pulling the same prank that Van Wilder pulled. 2) The victim in this case is a spitter. 3) Police in New Mexico have so much free time that they treated this as if it were a multiple homicide crime scene. Did I read correctly that they took DNA samples of the woman’s spit off the floor plus confiscated her dress Monica Lewinsky style? I get that this was probably traumatizing for this lady but I can’t help but laugh when I think about what this guy’s face looked like as her spoon was going up to her lips. ‘Holy shit she’s actually gonna do it! She’s actually gonna do it! Ohhhhhh man! She did it!’ He totally gave himself up by his reaction, I’m convinced. Either way dude you’re gross and I will never try the free samples at the Trader Joe’s by me ever again. Thanks!

 

 

71-Year-Old Woman Caught Having Sex In Car In Middle Of The Day

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The Smoking Gun:

You thought after your 18th birthday you’d grown out of having sex in the back of the car. Not so for 71-year-old senior citizen Rita Daniels who was arrested for getting it on in the back of her Buick with a guy she picked up at a bar. Yes, it appears that Daniels and her 54-year-old boytoy Tim Adams met over drinks and decided to go screw in the back of Daniels’ car (whose license plate reads “DIVA 145”) in the parking lot of a restaurant in the middle of the day. Someone called the cops who found the car a-rocking and they came a-knocking on the steamy windows. When they asked Adams what he was doing he said, “I’m fucking this chick.” Oh man, all the details of this story just get better and better. They were both arrested for indecent exposure and public drunkenness and taken to jail. Hopefully Daniels behaved like a real diva and threw a fit or two (or at least hit on the guards) before being set free.

 

I mean, you go day drinking in the midwest and this is what you’ll most likely find but goddamn! How drunk must you be to have beer goggles where this chick looks even remotely decent?! Not that old Timmy boy here is any catch but look at grandma in this mugshot. Straight up looks like Cruella Deville, on crack, 40 years after 101 Dalmatians. And Tim’s mugshot is priceless. If that doesn’t look like the face of a guy who just got caught having sex in broad daylight with a nasty 71-year old hag, then I don’t know what it looks like. I can’t honestly say that it’s shame cause when they cops came to the window and asked him what he was doing, he simply replied “I’m fucking this chick.” Like it was no big deal and please close the door and walk away. Call me crazy but why do I get the feeling this isn’t Rita’s first time doing this?

Man Has Child Porn Stolen From Home, Reports It To Police

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KCRA:

If you have 30 CDs stolen from you, it’s perfectly understandable that you’d go to the cops. If those 30 CDs are filled with child porn, on the other hand, well, the cops are likely to be less sympathetic. It was a hard lesson learned well by Kraig Stockard (making an appropriate child-pornographer face in the accompanying mugshot), who reported the theft of the CDs from his barn in September. Only, the thieves reported him, too:

Deputies said a juvenile and a 19-year-old who broke in and stole the CDs — about 50 of them, thinking they were blank — and later brought them home. When the pair asked a family member to upload some music onto the discs, the relative popped in one of the CDs and discovered the child pornography, deputies said. The finding prompted the pair to contact the Sheriff’s Department and explain the situation, according to the news release. Deputies then checked all the stolen CDs and found more than 30 of them contained child porn images, they said.

The cops arrested Stockard and seized “three computers, three laptops and several external hard drives”; he’s apparently admitted to downloading it and is facing child pornography charges. The robbers were not arrested.

 

This is why I keep my porn hidden in other DVD cases, in the back left drawer of my dresser, in a bag with a lock on it, under the socks. Kraig, Kraig, Kraig. What are we thinking here, brotha? Who reports stolen CDs? Especially CDs filled with your own personal collection of kiddie porn? Sometimes you just gotta chalk one up in the loss column and move on.

But I’m not sure that’s the real story here. So let me get this straight, two thieves BREAK INTO A HOME and STEAL ITEMS but no charges are ever filed against them? Why, because they admitted it and ratted this guy out? Great message you’re sending these two teens. And who breaks into a home and steals CDs? Grab the good stuff. I’d be taking anything and everything except for what didn’t fit in the pick-up! At least they’ll know who to go to when more CDs/DVDs turn up missing in their town. Just salt in the wound for Creeper Kraig here.