Girl Throws Guy Out Of House Unless He Impregnates Her Cause We Live In ‘Murica

 

I don’t feel bad at all for this Chris Tucker sounding dick right here. Yea, this girl sounds nuts but from what I’m picking up she’s not all there in the head in the first place. Dude is just having fun with her at this point because he knows the camera is rolling. Listen playa, you go to Walmart in the middle of Pennsylvania to pick up chicks and of course you’re coming home with Honey Boo Boo’s mom. Allow me to redirect you to THIS SITE for more on that.

Side note: This might be the first time in history a black dude has turned down sex because he was worried about knocking up a chick.

TRUE STORY: Is This Not One Of The Scariest Things You’ve Ever Heard?

Viralnova: Most people believe that they are safe inside their own homes. This story just proves, though, that even that is rarely true. Two boys were playing rough in their parents room when they made a startling discovery. This could chill any homeowner down to their very core.

The house was built in the early 2000s. There was nothing to suggest there was anything weird about it.

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Except when the new owners’ two sons were horsing around and dislodged a bookshelf…

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That movable bookshelf revealed a secret staircase.

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The tall, spiral staircase seemed to lead downward directly into a wall.

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But halfway down, there was a crawlspace.

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Inside, the two boys found the most terrifying thing: evidence that someone was squatting. In their own walls.

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Whoever was living there had small objects with them, like the elephant seen here.

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They also had a key that unlocked only God knows what.

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And of course, they also found creepy dolls hidden in the room.

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Because every stranger living secretly inside of your walls need dolls with soulless eyes.

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The police are still looking for the individual that was living in their walls. Since there was little food, it seemed that he came and went as he or she pleased. There was a small pile of clothes around the bedding. The candy seen strewn about the room was actually one of the boy’s, but whoever was living in the wall crept out at night to steal some for himself.

Fucking kidding me? I would put that house up for sale the next morning! Not a chance I’m staying there. Don’t care if it was just a drifter–someone has had access to your house and has been walking in and out of it, possibly when you were still home. I get the chills just thinking about that. Like something straight out of a horror movie. And how do they know about the secret space? The candy was left by the kids but that banana peel looks pretty fresh. FUCK THAT!

Horny Dolphin Skull Fucks A Dead Fish [NSFWish]

 

Never thought you’d read that title, huh?

This is just further proof that dolphin are red blooded mammals who just need to get a nut off every once in a while. This thing actually reminds me of myself around age 14-15. Just humping everything within reaching distance. A headless fish? Don’t mind if I do! It’s even got the same cum face.

Side note: Is this like the downie version of a dolphin? What the fuck is up with the way this thing looks?

 

4rzgt

‘The Fox’ Is The Latest Viral Video On The Internet Right Now?!

 

This is the latest viral video on the internet right now?!! Almost 35 million views since Sept. 3?!! Does this mean I’m going to see hundreds of people dressed in fox costumes on Halloween? Are people actually going to be doing this dance out at bars? WTF is going on?

UPDATE: Fuck, I can’t get it out of my goddamn head now!