7-Year-Old Girl Fights For Entitlement Of Toys

subwaycreatures

 

Hey Rosie O’Donnell, keep your feminist ideals to yourself, you’re ruining it for all the other kids. This is definitely the same girl going around telling all her classmates there’s no Santa Claus. Hey Riley, you’re 7 years old and think you know all the behind the scenes marketing ploys?  Why do girls have to buy pink stuff and the boys get to buy the other color stuff? Why do girls have to have babies and boys don’t? Why do I have to learn to cook and clean and boys don’t? Why is the sky blue and the grass green? I don’t know, that’s just the way the cookie crumbles!  And guess what sweetie, you can have whatever you want so don’t give me that ‘why can’t I buy super heroes’ shit. There would be nothing but tears on Christmas morning if you opened a present that was an Optimus Prime or G.I. Joe action figure. You know how I know? Because you’re in the ‘pink toy’ section of whatever toy store that is and you’re holding a Scooby Doo doll you hypocrite. I blame the parents for this. It always starts with them.

Woman Gets Naked On Argentina’s Dancing With The Stars [NSFW!!]

subwaycreatures

 

Wow, how Argentina is different from the U.S. I mean I’ve seen less in pornos on the internet and this is airing on TV for anyone to see down in South America. Probably a family sitting on a couch, eating popcorn, waiting for the big dance finale and next thing they know they are giving their kids an anatomy lesson. We all get uptight when there is a nipple slip or even Lady Gaga wearing some kind of see-through top and this chick is all out head to toe naked by the time Beyonce is done singing. Just shows how two countries can be on completely two different levels. Love it and someone please buy me tickets to the next show!

 

 

So The Cast Of Fresh Prince Of Bel Air Looks Great

subwaycreatures

So the cast of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air just had a reunion the other day and let me be the first to say goddamn! Way to keep it together people. Pretty sure Hilary has AIDS, Uncle Phil looks just as sick, I’ll give Carlton a pass, Will Smith clearly is not a human who ages, Ashley’s been stealing cookies from the cookie jar, and I’m pretty sure the guy back left was just there for the open bar and saw a picture being taken so he jumped in. (Who the hell is he?)

But here’s my problem. How can you call this a reunion when Geoffrey, Aunt Viv #1, Aunt Viv #2, and Jazz are all MIA?? Bullshit. That’s like having a Save By The Bell reunion without Mr. Belding. Who couldn’t appreciate Geoffrey’s one liners or Jazz always getting tossed out of the house by Uncle Phil? Will Smith ruins everything!

Side note: Can we talk for one second about how they quietly tried to sneak a new Aunt Viv in halfway through the show? She wasn’t even close to the same skin color as the other one! As a kid I was so goddamn confused by that move.

Could This Be The Best/Worst Wrestling Move Of All Time?

subwaycreatures

 

Listen, I’m the last person to watch wrestling or even talk about it but when I saw this clip I couldn’t resist. This guy hypnotizes his opponents plus the entire locker room of wrestlers who weren’t even watching?! Now this can be the worst or best move ever in wrestling and I still can’t decide. We all know that wrestling is fake (yes sorry to all of you in the south) but the entertainment factor here is what I’m impressed by. Somehow this wrestling match went from 4 dudes beating the shit out of each other to an all out break dancing party with the whole cast of wrestlers. The crowd was all about it, announcers going crazy, and I’m writing a fucking post about it. They musta done something right…right?

 

Niggas In Paris…Subway Remix

subwaycreatures

 

It’s been a long time since our last post with the holidays coming up and our actual jobs being as hectic as they’ve been. Let’s see…since our last post #occupywallstreet has fallen off the face of the earth, North Korea lost it’s leader, the Giants are blowing they’re playoff chances, and I’m pretty sure we found a cure for AIDS. But what better way to get back into it than with this fuckin guy.

You ever get up in the morning and look in the mirror and say to yourself “goddamn it’s gonna be a great day!” I’m pretty sure that’s where this guy’s head is at. He got all his shopping done, Kwanzaa right around the corner, booked New Years plans, and not a worry in the world. Grimace from McDonald’s not only sang the whole song, but he included the parts with Will Ferrell and Jon Heder from Blades of Glory. And not only did he include them but he nailed them! Straight up white man voice out of no where. Something about December that just puts everyone in a great mood!

Black people let me say this, just because this was entertaining and funny, do not use this as an excuse to pull this shit everywhere. It gets old fast and I’m sure half the white people on that subway car had no idea what song this dude was singing anyway.

Side note: Pretty sure that was Leon from “Curb Your Enthusiasm” just crushing this song

– Thanks to Stewart and Justin for this

Man Stunned When Daughter Shows Up After He Orders Hooker

subwaycreatures

 

Daily Record:

A MAN hired a prostitute to come to his hotel room – and answered the door to his own daughter. Titus Ncube, a married father-of-three, collapsed to the floor with shock while his daughter, 20, fled the hotel in tears. Mr Ncube, from Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, said he was having marital problems and decided to rent a room in a local hotel, followed by a prostitute. He said: “I am sorry for what I did. I spoke to my wife and daughter. I apologised for my actions as I just wanted my family back. My daughter has stopped doing what she was doing and is going back to school next year. My marital problems are not over, but we have a counsellor who is helping us to get over this most difficult period.” His wife Rosemary said: “If it were not for my children, I could have divorced him a long time ago. But because of the trauma that divorce has on children, I decided to stay.”

 

Way to take your problems and make them 10X worse Titus. Here’s what I want to know though. Who came out with all of this info? I mean the dad is just as guilty as the daughter so I don’t know why he’s telling anyone anything. Some things should be left unsaid and he probably should have taken this one to the grave. Now people on the other side of the world are reading about your awkward encounter. The mother/wife is the biggest loser in this whole scandal. She finds out all in one shot that her husband is a cheating fuck and her daughter is a skank. I’m sure this happens more often than we know it’s just most people don’t run to the press about it.

 

Bitch News Anchor Ruins Christmas For Any Kids Watching Fox News

subwaycreatures

 

What a baaa-humbug cunt. Listen bitch, obviously everyone knows there’s no Santa but there’s no need to ruin it for everyone who thinks there is! I remember like it was yesterday when my mom left the PC Richards sticker on the box that was titled “FROM SANTA.” Worst day of my life. I wanted to run through the streets causing complete and utter anarchy. I also remember the day she broke the news to my sister and I almost had to get a straight jacket out. This bitch should be held responsible for every reaction that any parents have to deal with after that aired. I’m not sure how she still had a job the next day to even make an apology, if that’s what you want to call it, but I hope she’s visited by three ghosts before December 25th who slap her around until she’s a believer.

 

Side note: When kids find shit like this out, it always leads to more questions: What about the Easter Bunny? What about the Tooth Fairy? What about Jesus? Thanks Robin Robinson!