Month: December 2011

Stripper Calls Police On Herself For Taking $40 Tip

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TSG:

DECEMBER 28–The holiday season’s most heartwarming story involves a topless dancer, a drunk customer, and $40 left atop a Florida bar counter. Shortly before midnight on Christmas Eve, Panama City cops responded to a call from the home of Amanda Blocker. Through tears, the 27-year-old woman explained that she was a dancer at the Gold Nugget Lounge and had been talking earlier that evening to a male customer who “told her he was going to give her $40.00.” According to a Panama City Police Department report, Blocker (pictured above) recalled that the patron “laid the money on the bar,” but soon “passed out from intoxication.” He later awoke and quickly departed the Gold Nugget. Blocker told cops that after the man’s departure she “noticed the money still on the table and took it.” However, after arriving home, the dancer “felt bad and thought she had stolen the money.” That’s when Blocker decided to call police at 11:45 PM on December 24. An officer advised Blocker that nobody had filed a complaint about the money, the report notes. With “nothing further” left to investigate, the cop left Blocker with her small Christmas gift.

 

This has gotta be one of the most bizarre stories I’ve heard in a while. A guy says he’s going to tip you $40, you take it while he’s passed out, and then proceed to call the cops on yourself? Even the police were like ‘ummmm yeaaaaah…it’s OK lady.’ Amanda you work for tips, right? The guy said he was going to tip you the $40, right? Keep the money and buy yourself new stripper heels. I don’t see the problem here. And since when do strippers have a conscience? They always have no problem taking my money when I pass out there. Unbelievable.

Teenage Robbers Caught After Posting Pics To Facebook

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HuffPost:

PITTSBURGH — An 18-year-old Pittsburgh man is accused of burglarizing a market with three teens, then posted pictures on his Facebook page showing the suspects mugging with some of the loot. Isaiah Cutler who has been jailed since Friday in the Dec. 12 burglary. Online court records don’t list an attorney for him. Police say Cutler, a 17-year-old and two 14-year-olds stole more than $8,000 worth of cash, cigarettes, candy and checks from the business. About an hour later, police say, Cutler posted pictures of the teens posing with the loot on his page on the social networking site. The younger suspects have been charged in juvenile court and been released to their parents. Cutler faces a preliminary hearing Wednesday on charges of theft, burglary and conspiracy.

 

Open and shut case Johnson. What a day to be a Pittsburgh detective. Just when you thought all the leads went cold in the convenient store robbery these geniuses hand over a conviction on a silver platter. The only thing that would have been easier woulda been walking into the police station and admitting you stole the $8,000. You were home free and $8,000 richer and you couldn’t help but take to Facebook. If there’s one thing Mark Zuckerberg has taught all of us is that everything you do on his site is broadcasted for the world to see. But not to worry, you guys are young and hopefully learned from your mistakes and next time I’m sure it will go over more smoothly.

 

7-Year-Old Girl Fights For Entitlement Of Toys

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Hey Rosie O’Donnell, keep your feminist ideals to yourself, you’re ruining it for all the other kids. This is definitely the same girl going around telling all her classmates there’s no Santa Claus. Hey Riley, you’re 7 years old and think you know all the behind the scenes marketing ploys?  Why do girls have to buy pink stuff and the boys get to buy the other color stuff? Why do girls have to have babies and boys don’t? Why do I have to learn to cook and clean and boys don’t? Why is the sky blue and the grass green? I don’t know, that’s just the way the cookie crumbles!  And guess what sweetie, you can have whatever you want so don’t give me that ‘why can’t I buy super heroes’ shit. There would be nothing but tears on Christmas morning if you opened a present that was an Optimus Prime or G.I. Joe action figure. You know how I know? Because you’re in the ‘pink toy’ section of whatever toy store that is and you’re holding a Scooby Doo doll you hypocrite. I blame the parents for this. It always starts with them.

Woman Gets Naked On Argentina’s Dancing With The Stars [NSFW!!]

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Wow, how Argentina is different from the U.S. I mean I’ve seen less in pornos on the internet and this is airing on TV for anyone to see down in South America. Probably a family sitting on a couch, eating popcorn, waiting for the big dance finale and next thing they know they are giving their kids an anatomy lesson. We all get uptight when there is a nipple slip or even Lady Gaga wearing some kind of see-through top and this chick is all out head to toe naked by the time Beyonce is done singing. Just shows how two countries can be on completely two different levels. Love it and someone please buy me tickets to the next show!

 

 

So The Cast Of Fresh Prince Of Bel Air Looks Great

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So the cast of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air just had a reunion the other day and let me be the first to say goddamn! Way to keep it together people. Pretty sure Hilary has AIDS, Uncle Phil looks just as sick, I’ll give Carlton a pass, Will Smith clearly is not a human who ages, Ashley’s been stealing cookies from the cookie jar, and I’m pretty sure the guy back left was just there for the open bar and saw a picture being taken so he jumped in. (Who the hell is he?)

But here’s my problem. How can you call this a reunion when Geoffrey, Aunt Viv #1, Aunt Viv #2, and Jazz are all MIA?? Bullshit. That’s like having a Save By The Bell reunion without Mr. Belding. Who couldn’t appreciate Geoffrey’s one liners or Jazz always getting tossed out of the house by Uncle Phil? Will Smith ruins everything!

Side note: Can we talk for one second about how they quietly tried to sneak a new Aunt Viv in halfway through the show? She wasn’t even close to the same skin color as the other one! As a kid I was so goddamn confused by that move.