"People watch from the safety of your phone"
While MillerTime was suggested to write about the kids being in the background while a “girl” deep-throated a banana in the last video he posted, he decided to take a different path. Now because of that, I’m going to point out the fact that she resembles the tranny from Wedding Singer. Put that in your Spank Bank MillerTime!
According to FAT’s Randy Sarafan:
The Googlher is a device which plugs into your computer and triggers a bullet vibrator any time that Google pings your web browser (with the aid of The Googlher Firefox Add-on). By doing so, The Googlher translates Google’s pervasive reach into highly stimulating vibrations for vaginal or anal web browsing. Mistrust and fear Google’s omnipotent ways no longer as the web giant profoundly soothes, touches, and moves you. This is perhaps the biggest thing to happen to augmented reality since the invention of methamphetamine.
Is there anything you can’t/won’t do Google? You basically run the world and now this shit! Unreal. Not really sure what the advantage of this thing is considering it’s not very portable and you need a pingback from Google to even power the fucker. But I’m sure as usual, Google is doing this just because they can.
Treasure patiently waiting…
OCRegister.com:
SANTA ANA – A group of men and women are suspected of taking over a 62-year-old man’s apartment for more than a week as they used the residence for parties, drugs and other illicit activities while the man lived in fear, police said. Officers responded about 5 a.m. Friday to requests for a welfare check on a man living in an apartment complex in the 3300 block of West Camille Street. A neighbor reported that several suspected gang members had forced their way into the man’s apartment and stayed there for more than a week, Santa Ana police Cpl. Anthony Bertagna said. The man, who authorities identified as a veteran who suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, was reportedly afraid to leave his residence. Police found six men and two female juveniles at the residence, all of whom were arrested. Investigators allege that Andrew Perez, 19, was the ringleader of the group. They didn’t appear to have any previous relationship or friendship with the victim, police said. People were going in and out of the man’s apartment all week, Bertagna said, forcing the victim into his bedroom at the end of the evenings as they partied in the rest of the residence. While the victim wasn’t physically injured, his apartment was wrecked, Bertagna said. Police are working with veteran’s groups and the social services department to get him assistance.
So these clown dicks forced their way into this guy’s house and partied for a week and he never called police? If there were ever a case of Stockholm Syndrome, this is definitely the time for it. ‘Oh you want me to chug a 40 oz. of Old English and blow a line off that chick’s ass? OK, but just please don’t hurt me.’ Even though this sounds like the plot to some bad Pauly Shore movie, the other thing I’m curious about is how it took a week for neighbors to realize a full on raging party was going on in a 62-year-old’s apartment. ‘Wow, Gene’s really livin’ it up down there this week, huh Martha? Do ya think we should check on him?’ ‘No, I’m sure he’s just got some company over to watch the game.’ ‘Yea you’re probably right. Oh, look at that there’s a young man licking whip cream off a girl’s breasts.’
Fucking epic!
It’s been a rough few days for Drags as his beloved Yankees faltered in game 5 at home against the Detroit Tigers. He sent me an email asking to vent on a public forum so i reposted his email. The Monday morning sun rises with more disappointment as Drags’s home town Jets have now fallen to 2-3 and they still can’t figure out the right chemistry to get things going. Drags asked me to repost another email this morning that I’m pretty sure he wrote while also staring at a loaded revolver sitting in his lap. Anyway I digress…
WHO THE HELL IS IN THE GREEN AND WHITE?
By Chris Drags
Where, o’ where, have the New York Jets gone? Oh where, o’ where have they gone? Forget the 8 three-and-outs. Forget the continued lack of “ground-and-pound.” Forget Sanchez throwing for 30 more yards than Green-Ellis ran for. Forget that the Jet’s best offensive weapon was Joe McKnight! And forget letting Benjarvis Green-Ellis (not Tom Brady!) march down the field eating up seven minutes of clock on the self proclaimed “#1” defense with the Jets only down 6 in a must stop situation. The real problem with the Jets? Attitude.
Where is the team with the chip on their shoulder? Where’s the team that stands on the line looking like thugs with swagger? Where’s the confidence? Where the fuck are the bullies! Do the Jets only perform well when they’re told they won’t win? Four washed up ex-hall of Fame players with too many head hits predict your team to actually, maybe, follow through on your “Super-bowl” predictions during a morning football program on CBS and you assume it’s just going to happen??
Remember back less than a year ago to the playoff game in Foxborough; the Jets were mad. Bart Scott, as we all know now, felt disrespected. They were tough, and played rough, pushed over the Patriots who blew them out only a month earlier. They looked like the Jets….and that was the last time. They were told all season long they weren’t going to do it, and once they beat the Pats, were told they had a reasonable chance…and then lost to the Steelers by laying down in the first half. If the Jets need to be told that they can’t do it, that they aren’t good enough and that they are the underdogs to play well, then congratulations Jets, here it comes: you guys suck! You’ve been bullied all year long. You had glimmers against Dallas but still SHOULD have lost if not for Saint Romo passing out wins to the needy. You blew out Jacksonville, but a Texas high school team could do that. Then Oakland, Baltimore and New England put you in your place by kicking you in the face.
The worst part? After last night’s loss the Jets were not pissed about what happened, not pissed that they now have a losing record and just handed the Pats the keys to the AFC East, no, they were talking (in the locker room) about all the good things that they did do; which I’m still trying to figure out…held Welker to 124 yards maybe? The Pats, the team in first, was angry after the win (!) because they thought they could have played better. I know Shawn Ellis is over there, but it sure looks like the mentalities are reversed.
The Jets have a long week off before a Monday night showdown against the Jet-killing Miami Dolphins, then they get the Chargers and a bye. All we can hope for is that they watch PTI and see themselves get ripped a new one, because right now, Jets, you guys suck. Now use this motivation to fucking win!!
Gawker:
The Frys.Com Open, by far the most prestigious of all electronics-retailer-website-sponsored golf tournaments, was thrown into chaos today when a deranged fan, armed with a hot dog in a bun, sprinted towards Tiger Woods on the seventh green. Here’s how Woods, who was preparing for a birdie putt at the time, recalls it:
“Some guy just came running on the green, and he had a hot dog, and evidently … I don’t know how he tried to throw it, but I was kind of focusing on my putt when he started yelling.”
The 31-year-old, frankfurter-wielding assailant managed to launch the meat as far as the putting surface (the lighter and less aerodynamic bun barely reached the green), when he was arrested by Santa Clara sheriff’s deputies. Police described him as “very cooperative” during his arrest, though unforthcoming with any motive.
“He just shook his head in guilt or remorse. He didn’t give a reason why he did it.” […]
Dan Diggins, head of security for tournament sponsor Frys Electronics, said the man would be arrested for “everything” and described him as “just an idiot.” Woods, who has reached a level of deep inner-peace in his life — at least where matters of projectile wieners with his name on them are concerned — remained calm throughout the ordeal, but missed his 18-foot putt.
Can we officially call this karma? TW just slingin’ dick all over the place for years and Warren from ‘Something About Mary’ comes running onto the green to slap him in the face with a weiner. Gotta love this guy. He knew immediately he was done and gave in but I feel like if you’re gonna do this then go all the way. At least make security sack your ass! There’s nothing less intimidating than golf security too. Out of shape, middle aged men running at you as quietly as they can in a polo with khakis. If anything I would of been more scared of the retard running onto the green than he was of security. Best part about the whole thing was Tiger missed his putt right after. You suck….jackass!
Yankees missed the team bus to game 5, Devils and Rangers lost their season openers, Giants and Jets both fell short of comebacks. This was a weekend where one of the few times in my life I actually wished I was living as a vegetable in a hospital bed so I didn’t have to witness New York sports. The only thing to cushion the blow was the fact that the Phillies were upset at home Friday night and the Eagles ‘Dream Team’ keeps on dreamin’ of a win. Hey Philadelphia, misery loves company so welcome to the party. The reason it was worse than NY’s weekend was that your billion dollar baseball team lost in the first round of the playoffs in a season they were expected to win every game and your billion dollar football team is in the cellar of the NFC East. I hate the fact that the Giants sucked but thank Christ I don’t have to spend another week listening to you obnoxious Philly fans. With no basketball in sight, I guess it’s on to hockey for the city of brotherly love where I’m sure somehow you’ll still manage to bomb that season.
Despite all the injuries they’ve endured, the Giants are playing smash mouth football right now and that streak will continue right into this weekend. Seattle comes to GIANTS STADIUM Sunday where they are 1-6 all time. With not much to offer on either side of the ball, I’m actually surprised they are only receiving 9 points in this game. Expect the G-Men to light up the scoreboard and the defense to have another solid week and if Tuck returns, things might even get uglier. No fucking way do the Giants win this game by less than 9 points and I’m all over the U/O at 43.5.
| 419 | Seattle Seahawks | +9½ -110 | +350 |
|
|
|||||||
| 420 | New York Giants | -9½ -110 | -450 |
|
| 423 | New York Jets | +9 -110 | +350 |
|
|
|||||||
| 424 | New England Patriots | -9 -110 | -450 |
|
Little girls in nightgowns never fail to scare the shit out of me and this movie looks like that’s pretty much what it’s based on. I wasn’t too big on the first two of these movies but this one looks like it has potential. Considering I have the chills from only watching the trailer, I’m pretty sure this one will force me to sleep with a night light like I’m 4 years old again.
Nevermind the fact that this baby looks like one of the aliens that were hovering over NYC last night, but this is amazing. I always thought you were suppose to die if you simultaneously sneezed and farted. Guess not or maybe this baby really is an alien…
SubwayCreatures 