"People watch from the safety of your phone"
Why have I never been to Brazil and more specifically Rio de Janiero?! This is one of the most amazing videos I’ve ever seen and might have watched it on repeat 10 times already. These chicks defy the laws of physics! Nothing to talk about here people. Just watch and enjoy!
Gosh thanks Florence Henderson. If there was anything to make my day any worse, I get to picture your hippie bush infested with dirty fuckin lice crawling all over it. I know you’ve been out of the spotlight for a while but why must you insist on letting the world know about this? You wanna hear some breaking news? No one cares! I always said I would’ve loved to be alive in the 60s and 70s. Everyone just doing drugs and having sex all over the place without a worry in the world. Well apparently not. And former NYC mayor, John Lindsay, bought her flowers to apologize? Now THAT’S how you treat a ho! ‘Hey sorry about that STD thing. Here’s a bouquet of roses, don’t sweat it.’ How can you feel bad for Mrs. Brady here? She was married and banging a politician. If you’re not asking for some kind of STD then you really are living in a perfect world in The Brady Bunch.
Superwoman indeed!
Coming off a must win game at home on MNF, the Giants go into Sunday down yet another player, Domenik Hixon tore his ACL this week. With a sloppy win against the injury riddled Rams, the Giants face the huge task of going into Philadelphia to take on the Eagles. It’s not looking good for a weak Giants offense going up against a tough Eagles DEF. The Giants secondary also looks shaky with a lot of missing confidence. Not good going up against an offense run by Michael Vick and all the weapons he has at his disposal. Vick will be wearing a specially made Kevlar helmet on Sunday to give him max protection against concussions so we probably will not be seeing him rush as often as usual. That is a huge help to a Giants defense who was taking dives to stop the clock against the Rams. There is not currently a line out for this game but with Vick playing, I would have to assume it’s going to favor the Eagles by at least a field goal. With a shaky Giants team in Philadelphia, have to go Eagles here.
The 2-0 Jets fly to the west coast to play the 4pm game against a very underrated Oakland Raiders team. The Jets looked impressive in their win over Jacksonville last week but they should have since the Jags look to be having a rebuilding year. Hopefully keeping the momentum going, Sanchez and his offense will go up against a Raider defense that has allowed 58 points in 2 games. Expect the Jets to pound the ball on the ground just as they did the last time these teams met 2 years ago. The Raider defense cannot stop the run this year and expect the Jets to exploit them even more. No way will this game be within 3 points and I’m taking the Jets in the over at 41.
| 413 | New York Jets | -3 -115 | -175 |
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| 414 | Oakland Raiders | +3 -105 | +155 |
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ESPN:
NEW YORK — Adding fuel to baseball’s bitterest rivalry, New York Yankees catcher Russell Martin said he hates the Boston Red Sox and would relish adding to their misery by helping to eliminate them from the playoffs during this weekend’s series between the two teams. “Anything to get the Red Sox out would be awesome for me,” said Martin, who has been involved in the rivalry for one season. When asked why, Martin sounded like the truest Bleacher Creature. “Because I hate the Red Sox,” Martin said. Last winter, Martin almost went to Boston. The three teams most interested in signing him as a free agent were the Yankees, the Red Sox and the Toronto Blue Jays. The Yankees outbid the other clubs and gave Martin the best chance to start. Martin, 28, got $4 million plus performance bonuses.
This just in! This just in! A New York Yankee hates the Boston Red Sox and wants nothing but to eliminate their playoff hopes! Oh my God the humanity! Even my 11 year old sister who doesn’t follow baseball knows that the Yankee/Red Sox rivalry is the most heated, competitive rivalry in any sport played. The games reach record lengths, the stadiums sell out, and most of the time at least 2 of the 3 games of the series get nationally televised. Why is this even news that Russell Martin hates the Red Sox? I mean no shit! Poll both clubhouses and give me the names of any player who doesn’t hate the other team and I’m sure you won’t see them on the roster next year. I’m 99.9% sure there is a clause when you sign a contract for either team saying you HAVE to hate the other and eliminate any chance they might have at the playoffs.
Despite the way the Sox are currently playing, if they make the playoffs they still have a shot at winning. So yes, if I were Russell Martin I would watch their games with a shit-eating grin rubbing my hands together as they blow their last chance at playoff hopes. And if it means the Yankees can’t sit back and rest players and actually have to TRY down the home stretch then goddamnit do it! This is October we’re talking about here! Fuckin’ New Yawk and Bahston media, I tell ya…
The saying ‘once a man, twice a child’ couldn’t ring more true right here. This guy is LOVING the fact that he can see himself on his computer. Obviously this couple do not have mirrors in their house if they are just now realizing they have cracks and wrinkles on their faces. If this is going to be anything like my retirement then I’m glad I’m currently living in a world where I’ll never be able to retire anyway. You gotta appreciate this guy’s game though. He starts with ‘oh look how pretty your hair is’ and goes straight into ‘pull down yourdress and show your boobies.’ Fuckin old people!
Sidenote: Thanks for hitting STOP before shit got wild in that room.
A Sweet Springs, MO kindergartner brought his mother’s crack pipe to show-and-tell on Sept. 6. Sadly, the crack pipe wasn’t the only thing the kindergartner brought to school. He also brought some of his mother’s crystal meth. Unfortunately, it seems the little tyke was rather proud and fascinated with the items. Superintendent Donna Wright said, “He was very excited when he got to school. But I don’t think he knew what he had.” However, the child’s teacher realized what he had and didn’t allow him to show or talk about it. Instead, the teacher notified authorities. Wright said, “It didn’t ever get into the classroom. It was shocking. We’re not experienced with dealing with this.” Officers followed up on the incident and arrested the kindergartner’s 32-year-old mother, Michelle Cheatham, on drug charges. She was later able to post bail and is now free. Teachers and school authorities weren’t the only ones shocked by what happened. Police Chief Richard Downing said, “That was a first for show-and-tell in this town.” The town of Sweet Springs is very small with only 1,500 residents.
Congrats Michelle Cheatham! Not only did your kid know where to find your crack pipe and meth, but he brought it in for Show and Tell to explain to the other 5 and 6 year olds how to use it. While most kids are bringing in their pet rocks from the backyard, he brought in a completely different kind of “rock.” You wanna know what I brought for my Show and Tell in 3rd grade? I brought my hippie grandma who could tell the coolest life experiences I’ve ever heard. Did she do drugs back then? I hope so. Is she an alcoholic? Without a doubt. Did she share her stories to my class WHILE ON drugs or alcohol…? Shit I don’t know, probably. But the point here is, she didn’t talk about it or share it with the class because she was at least THAT responsible!
Also, this poor kid set the bar way too high for himself! How do you follow this up next year in 1st grade? Heroin and a syringe? 9mm and a few rounds of ammo? I’m just saying if he brings his pet iguana “Iggy” I would be extremely disappointed.
I’ve always said that old people should not be allowed to drive. It’s like giving the keys to a car to a 5 year old and this woman will be 104 next month?! And how about that car! As hood as they come. I was waiting for the hydraulics to kick in and watch that bitch bounce down the street. No wonder they accidentally played that music. It’s probably what grandma was listening to anyway. Reminded me of a great classic:
Happy Birthday to me indeed! See everyone at Irish Rogue tomorrow night! Have an amazing and safe weekend!
Giants failed everyone in NY last week and now they must make a statement on MNF. Week 1 was a ‘feel’em out’ game and we know what we’re working with now. No more room for mistakes. Rams come into this game with just as many injuries as the Giants and in key positions. Bradford has a hurt finger, Jackson has a strained quad (kind of important at his position), and Amendola is basically done for the year with a broken arm. No excuses for the Giants this week in the Meadowlands! I love the Giants -6 against this struggling Rams offense. I also like the over at 44 since the G-Men will be scoring a lot more than last week.
| 227 | St Louis Rams | +6 -110 | +230 |
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| 228 | New York Giants | -6 -110 | -270 |
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The Jets played in a tough week 1 game and just like they were able to do last year, pulled off the win in the last remaining seconds. If you’re trying to tell me that the Jets aren’t going to beat Jacksonville by more than 8.5 points this week, you’re either crazy or a Jaguars fan. Jacksonville is awful this year and don’t even have a grasp on who is playing the most important position on the field for them. The Jets offense will be on the field most of this game and just raking in the fantasy points. At 39.5, I’m going under since I think the only way it’s going to get close to that is if the Jets score 40 points themselves.
| 201 | Jacksonville Jaguars | +8½ -110 | +350 |
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| 202 | New York Jets | -8½ -110 | -450 |
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SubwayCreatures 
