Category: Funny

iPhone 4s Tells Young Boy To “Shut The Fuck Up”

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British tween Charlie Le Quesne and his mom were shopping at a store in England when he picked up an iPhone 4S on display and innocently asked Siri, “How many people are there in the world?” The 12-year-old, expecting the phone’s automated assistant to give him a number, got a real shock when instead Siri answered, “Shut the fuck up, you ugly twat.” Whoa, girl, watch your mouth!!! Charlie’s mother, Kim, couldn’t believe what she’d heard, so they asked the same question, thinking it must have been an error. But crabby Siri fired back with the very same expletive-laden rant.

As you might imagine, Kim wasn’t too pleased, and complained to store managers. They apologized and pulled the phone from the display, which was on a low shelf in full reach of children. The store thinks that some potty-mouthed prankster had their way with Siri and got her all confused, programming the filthy phrase in as the user name for the phone. Since Siri is sometimes in the habit of responding to people by their names, she might have simply said the phrase thinking it was the boy’s name. You can see how somebody would think that was an awesome trick (though there are a lot more clever ways to do it than just putting in a bunch of four-letter words), but Charlie’s mom says didn’t appreciate the joke: “I couldn’t see the funny side.” As for the foul-mouthed iPhone, it’s being sent back to Apple for “diagnostic tests.”

Sounds like it’s that time of the month for Siri. After all the dumb fuckin’ questions people always ask her, she finally had enough. “Shut the fuck up, you ugly twat” is probably the least of what Siri wanted to say to this kid. Ask a better question next time bucko and maybe you won’t get told off by a cell phone app. Robots showing emotion is just the beginning of how they are going to take over this world some day. Love this story and credit to the asshole nerd who plugged that phrase into this floor model iPhone 4s.

Teenage Robbers Caught After Posting Pics To Facebook

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HuffPost:

PITTSBURGH — An 18-year-old Pittsburgh man is accused of burglarizing a market with three teens, then posted pictures on his Facebook page showing the suspects mugging with some of the loot. Isaiah Cutler who has been jailed since Friday in the Dec. 12 burglary. Online court records don’t list an attorney for him. Police say Cutler, a 17-year-old and two 14-year-olds stole more than $8,000 worth of cash, cigarettes, candy and checks from the business. About an hour later, police say, Cutler posted pictures of the teens posing with the loot on his page on the social networking site. The younger suspects have been charged in juvenile court and been released to their parents. Cutler faces a preliminary hearing Wednesday on charges of theft, burglary and conspiracy.

 

Open and shut case Johnson. What a day to be a Pittsburgh detective. Just when you thought all the leads went cold in the convenient store robbery these geniuses hand over a conviction on a silver platter. The only thing that would have been easier woulda been walking into the police station and admitting you stole the $8,000. You were home free and $8,000 richer and you couldn’t help but take to Facebook. If there’s one thing Mark Zuckerberg has taught all of us is that everything you do on his site is broadcasted for the world to see. But not to worry, you guys are young and hopefully learned from your mistakes and next time I’m sure it will go over more smoothly.

 

7-Year-Old Girl Fights For Entitlement Of Toys

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Hey Rosie O’Donnell, keep your feminist ideals to yourself, you’re ruining it for all the other kids. This is definitely the same girl going around telling all her classmates there’s no Santa Claus. Hey Riley, you’re 7 years old and think you know all the behind the scenes marketing ploys?  Why do girls have to buy pink stuff and the boys get to buy the other color stuff? Why do girls have to have babies and boys don’t? Why do I have to learn to cook and clean and boys don’t? Why is the sky blue and the grass green? I don’t know, that’s just the way the cookie crumbles!  And guess what sweetie, you can have whatever you want so don’t give me that ‘why can’t I buy super heroes’ shit. There would be nothing but tears on Christmas morning if you opened a present that was an Optimus Prime or G.I. Joe action figure. You know how I know? Because you’re in the ‘pink toy’ section of whatever toy store that is and you’re holding a Scooby Doo doll you hypocrite. I blame the parents for this. It always starts with them.

Could This Be The Best/Worst Wrestling Move Of All Time?

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Listen, I’m the last person to watch wrestling or even talk about it but when I saw this clip I couldn’t resist. This guy hypnotizes his opponents plus the entire locker room of wrestlers who weren’t even watching?! Now this can be the worst or best move ever in wrestling and I still can’t decide. We all know that wrestling is fake (yes sorry to all of you in the south) but the entertainment factor here is what I’m impressed by. Somehow this wrestling match went from 4 dudes beating the shit out of each other to an all out break dancing party with the whole cast of wrestlers. The crowd was all about it, announcers going crazy, and I’m writing a fucking post about it. They musta done something right…right?

 

Niggas In Paris…Subway Remix

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It’s been a long time since our last post with the holidays coming up and our actual jobs being as hectic as they’ve been. Let’s see…since our last post #occupywallstreet has fallen off the face of the earth, North Korea lost it’s leader, the Giants are blowing they’re playoff chances, and I’m pretty sure we found a cure for AIDS. But what better way to get back into it than with this fuckin guy.

You ever get up in the morning and look in the mirror and say to yourself “goddamn it’s gonna be a great day!” I’m pretty sure that’s where this guy’s head is at. He got all his shopping done, Kwanzaa right around the corner, booked New Years plans, and not a worry in the world. Grimace from McDonald’s not only sang the whole song, but he included the parts with Will Ferrell and Jon Heder from Blades of Glory. And not only did he include them but he nailed them! Straight up white man voice out of no where. Something about December that just puts everyone in a great mood!

Black people let me say this, just because this was entertaining and funny, do not use this as an excuse to pull this shit everywhere. It gets old fast and I’m sure half the white people on that subway car had no idea what song this dude was singing anyway.

Side note: Pretty sure that was Leon from “Curb Your Enthusiasm” just crushing this song

– Thanks to Stewart and Justin for this

Man Stunned When Daughter Shows Up After He Orders Hooker

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Daily Record:

A MAN hired a prostitute to come to his hotel room – and answered the door to his own daughter. Titus Ncube, a married father-of-three, collapsed to the floor with shock while his daughter, 20, fled the hotel in tears. Mr Ncube, from Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, said he was having marital problems and decided to rent a room in a local hotel, followed by a prostitute. He said: “I am sorry for what I did. I spoke to my wife and daughter. I apologised for my actions as I just wanted my family back. My daughter has stopped doing what she was doing and is going back to school next year. My marital problems are not over, but we have a counsellor who is helping us to get over this most difficult period.” His wife Rosemary said: “If it were not for my children, I could have divorced him a long time ago. But because of the trauma that divorce has on children, I decided to stay.”

 

Way to take your problems and make them 10X worse Titus. Here’s what I want to know though. Who came out with all of this info? I mean the dad is just as guilty as the daughter so I don’t know why he’s telling anyone anything. Some things should be left unsaid and he probably should have taken this one to the grave. Now people on the other side of the world are reading about your awkward encounter. The mother/wife is the biggest loser in this whole scandal. She finds out all in one shot that her husband is a cheating fuck and her daughter is a skank. I’m sure this happens more often than we know it’s just most people don’t run to the press about it.