No doubt in my mind that this is 100% fake. Let’s check on two things here. 1) She’s wearing black shorts under her dress since she knew she was going to be falling down. 2) She “faints” before she even knows what’s going on.
Category: Funny
10 Year Old Pulls 9MM On Woman During Trick-or-Treating
Aiken, South Carolina:
According to a police incident report, a 28-year-old woman told authorities she recognized some boys from her neighborhood while they were trick-or-treating about 6:30 p.m. Monday near Schroeder and George streets and jokingly told them she would take their candy. One 10-year-old in the group of about 10 juveniles responded with “no you’re not …” and then pointed a 9 mm handgun at her.
Ah the good ol’ South. I’ll be careful what I say since CSC has readers down there but goddamn these kids aren’t playing around. OK, now for my thug costume…oversized money sign chain? Check. Bandana? Check. Baggy jeans? Check. I just feel like something’s missing…oh shit I forgot my dad’s 9MM of course! This kid must have had a traumatic experience the previous year and no way he was getting robbed of his candy again. I’m not gonna lie that was the easiest way of trick-or-treating when I was younger. Let the younger kids do all the work and at the end of the night you give’em the old ‘I’ll take that, thanks.’ Nope, not in South Carolina. Down there you try that shit and it’s two to the chest and one to the head.
Every Girl Should Have The Booty Pop
In this world men are classified into two groups, ass-men and titty-men. Anyone who knows me knows I’m an ass man so when I saw this product I knew I had to promote it. Look, I don’t care if you’re wearing underwear that is padded, at least you’re making the effort plus you’ll probably start breaking guy’s necks left and right. I mean just look at this chick’s ass. Yes it was nice to begin with, but look at that after photo. I can set a goddamn drink down on that thing. And you know what, I don’t care once I find out your ass is fake. That’s what the Spank Bank is for.
A Personal Thank You
I would like to publicly thank a special subway creature for making this such a huge weekend for CSC. Don’t even know his/her name because I don’t care and to be honest it doesn’t even matter but here’s the story. Friday I wrote about a subway creature that decided to ride the subway topless to prove no other point than the fact that her(?) tits were able to reach the floor without a bra. Believe it or not folks, when a creature such as this turns up in the subway, we write about it here at Subway Creatures. Now this particular person came across our site (probably Googling herself(?) to death) and had a number of people leave very amusing/entertaining comments (I recommend reading them).
What we do here at CSC is find the most crazy/strange/weird/bizarre stories and videos on the internet and write funny comments, stories, and opinions about them by pushing the envelope as far as we can. When a video like this pops up, do you realize how easy you make my life? I purposely post this shit hoping the people who appear in it find it and do exactly what you did. I could care less about who you are or what your cause is. You create conversation, controversy, generate traffic, and get the CSC name out there. For that I can’t thank you enough! Feel free to drop the CSC name in your next video!
Side Note: For someone who doesn’t care what people think, you sure seemed to give a shit about us…
Also, out of all the comments that were left, this was by far my favorite. Simple and to the point:
Best Halloween Costume Ever
The greatest Halloween costume idea of all time? Maybe.
But now every sex offender in a 10 mile radius of these girls know who their next victims should be. No one will ever believe that the girls who cried rape for a week in October are actually be abducted, it’s the perfect plan!
And if god forbid this happens, at least Liam Neeson has another movie to star in.
Woman Understandably Stabs Husband Over Monopoly Game
The Smoking Gun:
A New Mexico woman repeatedly stabbed her boyfriend after accusing him of cheating during a Monopoly game early yesterday, according to police. Laura Chavez, 60, and her boyfriend were playing the popular board game at her Santa Fe apartment when the dispute occurred. Chavez allegedly admitted stabbing her beau, Clyde “Butch” Smith, with a kitchen knife. Police reported that both Chavez and the 48-year-old Smith appeared to be intoxicated. The man, who cops found bleeding heavily from wounds on his head and right wrist, was hospitalized yesterday in stable condition. Smith told investigators that Chavez first hit him over the head with a glass bottle and then “grabbed a knife and began cutting him, causing injuries to the top of his head, neck, left eye brow and right wrist area.” When cops arrived at Chavez’s building, she was sitting under the porch “covered with suspected blood.” Asked if the blood was Smith’s, she answered, “Yes, I fucked him up.” Chavez went to jail on a variety of charges, including aggravated battery on a household member with a deadly weapon and battery on a law enforcement officer. She is being held in the Santa Fe county lockup in lieu of $5000 bond.
I don’t have any sympathy for Clyde in this situation. Do you know how many times I’ve felt like I’ve wanted to do the exact same thing? You own the entire left side of the boardwalk, I keep landing in jail, and the goddamn Chance cards are just giving me ‘Roll Agains’ which just put me back on your property! I honestly feel like the 99% at OccupyWallStreet when I play this fuckin’ game. Cold, lonely, homeless, and wondering what the fuck I’m doing. The game should come with a disclaimer not to drink alcohol while playing to avoid exact shit like this. Do you know what a great feeling it must have been for Laura when she told the cops ‘Yes, I fucked him up’? Yea, he might have beat me in Monopoly but I’m not the one bleeding and crying in the corner right now!
News From The South: Raccoon BBQ Leads Cops To Meth Lab
CBSNews:
Police say they found a man barbecuing a raccoon in the parking lot of a Memphis, Tenn. apartment complex when they were summoned there on Monday. Then, according to NBC station KSDK, investigators stumbled upon buckets of unknown material at the scene. That’s when they called in their meth task force. The investigation led them to the apartment of another man, Adam Eubank, identified as the brother of the “top raccoon chef.” According to KSDK, police arrested the 26-year-old, and charged him with promoting the manufacture of methamphetamine. Police said it appears Eubank used cold medicine to create meth at least 3 times in the last year. He was jailed on a $75,000 bond.
Nothing to see here just roasting a raccoon in the middle of a parking lot. Meth heads will be meth heads. I seriously need to get down to the south and check out this third world country that I always read so much about. I’m saying just a visit, not to live there of course. Meth heads, leprechauns in trees, fights at Waffle House at 3 AM, domestic violence around every corner, etc. etc. I honestly don’t know how people survive down there but then again they are probably saying the same thing about New Yorkers.
Man Claims Prostitute Turned Into A Donkey During Sex
MyFoxDC:
A man caught having sex with a donkey told a court in Zimbabwe the animal was actually a prostitute who turned into a donkey in the night. Sunday Moyo, 28, was found by police officers performing a sex act on the donkey, who was lying on the ground tied to a tree, just after 4:00am local time, a court in Zvishavane, about 185 miles (300 kilometers) south of the capital Harare, heard. He was arrested Monday in the Mandava township of Zvishavane and charged with bestiality, the New Zimbabwe newspaper reported. Admitting the crime, Moyo told the court, “Your worship, I only came to know that I was being intimate with a donkey when I got arrested. I had hired a prostitute and paid US$20 for the service at Down Town night club, and I don’t know how she then became a donkey.” He also claimed he was in love with the animal, telling the court, “I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with [the] donkey,” The Herald newspaper reported. Moyo was remanded in custody until Oct. 27 and will be examined by two government psychiatrists.
Wow what a day for blogging in the sex world. Was it a full moon last night or did I miss some weird sex holiday? We got pervs making out with cardboard cutouts, naked chicks running down highways, and now Moyo here got caught banging a donkey that he swears started out as a prostitute he picked up at a night club. Now this might be an ignorant question but where the hell are there night clubs in Zimbabwe? When I think of Zimbabwe I think The Lion King and I’m pretty sure other than that crazy monkey tree, there were no night clubs in that movie.
Moyo here clearly had the ultimate beer goggles on the night before. He actually mistook a donkey for a decent looking hooker only to wake up and find out he had his dick in a different kind of ass. But now the worst part is that he’s in love with the donkey. Common mistake Moyo. You never fall in love when you have to pay for the sex and $20 at that! You can’t turn a donkey into a housewife so get over it and move on.
Topless Woman In G-String Leads Police On 128 MPH Chase
Daily Mail:
A topless, drunken woman led police on a car chase along route 422 at speeds of up to 128mph before surrendering to officers. Erin B. Holdsworth, 28, of Hiram, Ohio, was found to be wearing only fishnet stockings, a g-string and high heels when she was arrested in Auburn Township. Officers used stingers along the highway to disable two of Holdsworth’s tires and she was forced to pull over on the side of the road a short time later. When they approached her vehicle, the nearly-naked woman got out and staggered across the road before she was handcuffed. She has been charged with operating a vehicle impaired (OVI), refusing a blood alcohol test, fleeing and eluding, criminal damage, driving under a suspended licence, speeding and reckless operation at Chardon Municipal Court. Chief Jon Bokovitz, of the Bainbridge Police Department, said Holdsworth was taken to a Geauga County Safety Center after her arrest on October 11, before she was released pending the charges, Fox News reported.
Thank you Ohio, just another gem to add to your resume. Topless, in a g-string, and wearing sneakers sounds pretty close to most girls Halloween costumes and with Halloween right around the corner are we sure blondie wasn’t coming from a costume party? And how classy was she in that cop car? Tattoos up her legs and screaming in some devilish tone. Love this move right here:
Speaking of Halloween, hope to see people at the Westside Beer Garden on Saturday night on 33rd and 8th. Free admission before 10PM and $10 after that. Costumes a must and password is ‘beaver’. Can’t make this shit up!
Sex Offender Fined $200 For Kissing And Groping Cardboard Cutout Model
TheBershireEagle.com
PITTSFIELD — A convicted sex offender admitted he kissed and fondled a cardboard cutout of a woman, which was part of a North Street pharmacy’s advertising display. Charlie J. Price, 57, of Pittsfield, pleaded guilty to a single count of disturbing the peace, subsequent offense, and was ordered to pay a $200 fine by Central Berkshire District Court Judge Fredric D. Rutberg. Saturday around 5 p.m., Price, who was allegedly intoxicated, walked into the Rite Aid pharmacy, “grabbed hold of the sunglass display, hugged it tightly and then began to lick and kiss the face of the female party on the display,” according to a Pittsfield Police report. This behavior lasted about a minute, according to police, and ended when Price fell to the floor. He eventually got back on his feet and began yelling and screaming, according to the police report. Meanwhile, Price’s behavior apparently scared customers who “actively” tried to get away from the area. Price was arrested by the Pittsfield Police. Price is a level 3 sex offender, and therefore is considered to be at a high risk for reoffending. In 1991, he was convicted of indecent assault and battery on a child under 14. Last year, he was convicted of open and gross lewdness and lascivious behavior, according to the Sex Offender Registry Board.
Jesus, for $200 this guy coulda dialed up a chick from Craigslist and actually had human sex. I’ve been pretty drunk before in my life but I’m pretty sure not drunk enough to be making out with cardboard cutouts in a pharmacy. I hope they didn’t keep that whore standing in the middle of the pharmacy though because that’s just embarrassing after being sexually assaulted. Wrap her in a blanket and throw her in the rape shower.
SubwayCreatures 