Category: Awesome

Just Like The Rest Of America, I’m 110% Sure I Have The Golden Ticket

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Biggest lottery payout in the history of lottery payouts and I’m sitting pretty with a $5 ticket. Already had some ideas about what I’m gonna do with my winnings which should come out to around $1 cajillion after taxes. In no specific order:

– Build my own fuckin’ Chocolate Factory with strippers instead of Oompa Loompas

– Throw Rex Ryan an offer he can’t refuse to immediately go in hiding and never show his face in the NFL again.

– Buy Staten Island and drop a nuke on it.

– Drop Pairs Hilton and Kim Kardashian on the ‘Lost’ island

– Buy a lifetime supply of Chips Ahoy! Chewy.

– Buy a helicopter to take me from uptown Manhattan to downtown

– Buy Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion

– Buy the moon

What would you do…?

Cracked Out Chick Carries On Relations With Palm Tree

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This is one hell of a love/hate relationship. One second they are making out like high school kids and the next she’s slapping the poor Giving Tree like he let 3 other chicks swing from him. The sad part here is that there’s a music festival going on and there’s a musician trying to compete with a looney toon sucking face with a palm tree. No contest. The side shows are always better than the circus!

 

Brazilian Road Rage At It’s Best

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It always pisses me off when I’m stuck in traffic and motorcycles get to creep right thru like a game of Frogger. I’m sure that’s what’s going on here and the lady couldn’t take it anymore so she had some choice words for this guy. I dunno what he’s all bent outta shape for? He doesn’t have to sit in the traffic and coulda been on his merry way but instead has to kick the one van with the psycho soccer mom in the driver’s seat.

Pretty sure this guy shoulda been dead about 3 different times but that has to be the worst feeling for this chick when she rams a parked car only to find him still pounding on her window.

Old Grandma Tries To Take The Cinnamon Challenge; Hint…Epic Fail

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Holyyyyyy shit! This piece of gold hit the white trash trifecta on the nose! Facial tattoos, half naked people, and swearing grandmas with no teeth. Simply amazing! The sounds that come out of this old bags mouth are just horrifying. At one point she sounded like a 1 week old baby crying and the next she was coughing like she had been working in a mine for 30 years. And those teeth didn’t fall out on accident! That gummy bear went into panic mode and evacuated everything in her mouth as quickly as she could.

Supposedly, this grandma is 60-years old and I’m not at all surprised that she looks 85. That’s what 45 years of drinking, smoking, and drugs will do to the human body. Sorry grandma, you do not get $50 and get those chiclets off the floor before the dog comes and buries them in the backyard.

Some Chick Made My Friday By Flour Bombing Kim Kardashian On The Red Carpet

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Picked this up on The Stool and I love every second of it. I mean a simple prank that is completely harmless and absolutely humiliates Kim. Play it off however you want by telling awful jokes about makeup, but we all know inside there is a volcano that is about to erupt behind the scenes. “Luckily she didn’t get me too bad.” From what I can tell, I don’t think she coulda more accurate.

Side note: Why is the chick in the background of this pic reacting like she just watched JFK’s head get blown off? It’s flour hunny.