"People watch from the safety of your phone"
If you’ve ever ridden the NYC subway then you understand how on point this clip is. The homeless lady with the sob story asking for anything you might have, the young kid trying to sell the stale, expired fruit snacks, and the goddamn 4-5 piece mariachi band that insists on playing at the crack of dawn in the rush hour commute. Just a matter of time before the Wall St. guy, the 2nd mortgage family, and circus midgets roam the subway asking for dead presidents.
-Thanks to Fizz for this
Nothing like a news blooper on a Monday morning. For 10 minutes before going on air, Jim Castillo kept saying to himself “don’t say titties, don’t say titties, don’t say titties!” Jim you’re on! Hi guys! I just met her and she’s got some nice titties! OK…thank you Jim??
Have a safe weekend everyone!
Yes, this is a real thing and I believe the caption says it all. Some sick fuck is out there making millions off this thing.
Gawker: Great News! There’s A New Virus Out There!
Buzzfeed: Topanga On Cover Of Maxim
Guyism: McDonalds Meltdown
Barstool: Happy International Women’s Day! [NSFWish]
BroBible: Woman In Bikini Arrested For Running Down Highway In Freezing Temperatures
TheChive: Honestly, You Can’t Explain That [PHOTOS]
HuffPost: ‘Virgin’ Sex Doll Sells For Over $105,000
DeadSpin: Kazakhstani Soccer Games Are Apparently Played Underwater
Gothamist: Puking Drunks Terrorizing Union Square
Egotastic!: Katy Perry And Her Elmo Jiggle
HappyPlace: Old People Being Confused On Facebook
DailyOfTheDay: Reporter Gets Humped By Heckler
COEDMagazine: The 60 Nicest Natural Breasts On International Women’s Day
EliteDaily: Sex.com Offers Kobe Bryant $5 Million To Compete Against Lebron In Dunk Contest
Mashable: Free Year Of Netflix Only Costs A Tattoo
So after doing extensive research on this (Googling “How To Be Black” and reading the first sentence that popped up in results) I found out that this is some comedic book written by a black guy about how to fit in as a black person in the work place and social world. Examples include how to socialize at happy hour with your white colleagues or how to be a good black friend to your white friends. Sounds funny but regardless, I think it’s hilarious seeing black people reading this on the subway, especially when you have no idea what the book is about.
Then I got to thinking…would it be racist if all of the sudden there was a book written by a white guy teaching white people how to fit in with black people? Like if you’re walking down the street in Harlem you need to walk REALLY slow down the sidewalk and talk as loud as you can to the person next you. Or if your kid is acting up on the subway, slap the little fucker upside their head and slam them into an open seat. Would this fly or would CSC have Al Sharpton at it’s front door calling for a complete site shutdown? Maybe time will tell…
EliteDaily: A Chinese student was so eager to profess his love for a woman that he bottled up his sperm and sent it to her. The woman, 19-year-old Zeng Lin, mistook the semen for moisturizer, and began applying it to her face before noticing it smelled peculiar. When the girl discovered what it was, Lin called the police, and Gou Wen, 22, was forced to compensate her with £200 ($300 US). “I love her so much but she didn’t know it and I didn’t know how to tell her, so I did that thinking it was the ultimate way to show love,” Wen said. “Now I know I was wrong, but I will find another way.”
First things first. That’s the penalty for sending a girl a cum bucket? $300?? A) where does that number come from? B) How often does this happen that they have a fine for it? Next line of business is this guy loving this chick so much that he thinks sending her his bottled man goo is the best way of telling her. I give him credit for the original idea but maybe next time stick to a card or flowers. A bottle of baby batter might come off a little serial killer-ish. Fuckin Asians man…
Side note: Was I misinformed when I was told semen was actually good for the skin or is that just the kind of girls I’ve been dealing with?
Meanwhile over in Russia…
Nothing like the good ol’ prank when your friends try to blow you up in the shower with a mini stick of dynamite. I put that up there with the ‘cutting the brake lines gag‘ and the ‘rat poison in the oatmeal trick‘.
Most of us have been there before–trying to sneak over a barrier and past lazy security at a concert to get a better view. When doing this you really have to commit and not half-ass it like this girl and try to cautiously slide down the fence or this is what you get. A day of walking around with half ripped shorts while the other half is crammed up her asshole. But here’s my question, where was she going? It looked like she jumped into some 2X4 animal cage or something.
Side note: If there is such thing, that was one of the hottest wedgies I’ve ever seen.
SubwayCreatures 