Can I just start off by saying–how much coke did the chick filming this do that she can’t keep the camera straight? I threw up from motion sickness by the time they got Angel upright. Next line of business, how the fuck did she end up face down between two lockers? I’m assuming someone’s top fell back there and she thought she could retrieve it but clearly the plan wasn’t thought through very well. Should I really be surprised?
Side note: This has gotta be one of the funniest pictures ever. Some Wizard of Oz house-on-witch kinda shit right here:
I guess it could’ve been a lot worse. Instead of nailing that house it split the uprights and veered off to the side. I would actually chalk this up as a win.
Side note: How much do we wanna bet this is a viral video publicity stunt for FedEx??
The Uggs, the ‘sexy’ or ‘juicy’ sweatpants, NorthFace jackets, Las Vegas pictures with the #WhatHappensInVegas–it’s like I’m back in college all the sudden. This whole sketch just really called out every girl I’m friends with and I’m not sure if that says a lot about them or me. The funny part is that I already posted this on my personal Facebook account and of course it got a couple comments and likes but you can absolutely tell that every girl that saw it was thinking the same thing–“Fuck that, I’m not BASIC!” As they sit there telling their friend about their next cleanse with their misspelled name written on their Starbucks cup wearing Hunter rain boots because it’s cloudy outside.
Side note: How many days do we give it until a male version of this pops up from some feminist? Tomorrow?
You have to admit it’s somewhat fun to watch rich people crash these kinds of cars. Anyone who would dole out $400,000 for a Lamborghini Aventador seems like a real asshole and has a lot to compensate for. Yes–because I don’t have one, I’m going to say that. They weren’t hurt and if you can afford that car, let’s hope you could afford the insurance as well. Dick.
Paul Wallace, from The Supercar Scene, saw the smashed up Lamborghini shortly after the accident.
He said: “I got a call to say someone had reported the Lamborghini crash on Sloane Street.
“This car is known in London but I had never seen it before. From YouTube videos he enjoys revving the engine to create exhaust flames.
“It’s a very nice example of the Aventador so I wonder whether we’ll see it on the road again.
“The owner seemed young and was with a group of friends after the crash who all seemed relaxed bearing in mind the wreckage on the road.
Listen, no one was perfect when they had their first kiss. How could you be? You had 0 experience and only knew what you saw on TV and in the movies. Chances are, I was this kid back in middle school just pressing my face against a girl’s head and frog licking her lips while holding hand(s). In fact, if it was anything like my first experience this kid has a raging boner under that backpack. Only difference is, this couple is not only older, but doing it on the subway in year 2014 when every person from 5-years old to 90 have cell phones to record it. If you’re going to imitate a mother bird feeding her young in front of a group of people, you gotta be ready for that shit to hit the internet…hard! Oh to be young and in love again.
And THIS is why I’m never having kids. And I’m not talking about Gunner’s reaction. I’d be that guy who’d get fucked over with 3 out of my 4 kids being girls. Shit reminds me of when my mom got preggos when I was 16. OK…I’m cool with this. I’ll train this kid and he’ll grow up a 5 star athlete in just about every sport. Teach him the ropes of how to get girls and his life will be ridiculously easy. BAM! Hey Rick, it’s a girl! Cried just about as hard as Gunner here. Not the news I was expecting to hear. Kind of like when the Cleveland Indians were up on the Red Sox 3 games to 1 and lost in game 7. Hang in there Gunner. You’re in for the ride of your life!
Well done AND all within the parameters of the Youtube guidelines so it can’t get yanked down. For anyone living in a box (or accountants in busy season) here’s the original with 29 million hits since Monday:
SubwayCreatures 