SubwayCreatures

Yes They Exist, 31-Year Old Babies Who Still Wear Diapers And Drink From Bottles

May 22, 2012subwaycreatures

Minus the props, I have a couple friends like this. Old as fuck still getting pampered at home. Not sure they go as far as having their psycho mothers change their diapers but let’s just say they are still dependent on the little things. This show has gotta be one of the scariest shows on TV. Some of the other stories they do are bad but this has got to be the most horrifying one I’ve seen. Straight up reminds me of Francis from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. Guy has issues beyond therapy and he shouldn’t be allowed out of his crib. Perfect girl for this guy? Courtney Stodden only because I feel like they are mentally on the same level and she clearly likes creeps. For the second part of the video click here.

Most disturbing line: I feel like when I’m wearing a diaper, it’s a constant hug from Mommy.

‘Meet The Fokkens’; You Know, The 68-Year Old Twin Hookers

May 22, 2012subwaycreatures

Just look at’em. The youth. The charm. The sex appeal. The pineapple figures. How can anyone resist? How the hell can you not get by on state pension checks but hooking as a grandma is doing the job? Fuck is wrong with some of these countries? Anyway, not a documentary I’ll put at the top of my Netflix queue any time soon.

NYC: Get Ready For A Taxi Fare Hike

May 22, 2012subwaycreatures

NBC: The Taxi and Limousine Commission is planning hearings on whether to raise taxi fares by as much as 20 percent. City officials announced Monday that a public hearing is scheduled for May 31 to consider raising fares by 16 percent to 20 percent. Taxi owners and drivers have petitioned the commission to raise fares. Industry groups have cited high gasoline prices and the new livery fleet in the outer-boroughs. TLC Commissioner David Yassky said the commission will consider their petitions over the next couple of months. “The fare hasn’t changed since 2006, so it is reasonable for taxi drivers and fleet owners to put this on the table,” Yassky said. Base fare is now $2.50 plus $2 a mile. According to the Daily News, an average trip of 2.76 miles costs a rider $11.82. That would go up to more than $14 with a 20 percent hike.

Goddamn it! As if living in the city isn’t expensive enough now I gotta pay Habib $30 to get from the Upper West Side to the Lower East Side. Yea I know there’s always the subway, but have you ever been in the subway after 1 AM? Picture the Michael Jackson ‘Thriller’ Video meets Gangs of New York meets Animal House. Probably the last place in the world I wanna be when I’m drunk, have to piss, and feigning for a chicken gyro. My budget is gonna become tighter then a nun if this gets passed and it sounds like it will. Looks like Ramen noodles and PBRs are in the near future…the sacrifices we make!

Check Out Some Real Life James Bond Spy Shit

May 22, 2012subwaycreatures

Spies would use fake, exploding coal to sabotage supply lines — and this paint set to make the coal look real.

Spies in Moscow in the 60s had a variety of “dead drops” they could use to secretly pass around notes and other contraband, including these hollow bricks.

With these bad boys, you could even get away BEFORE the explosion.

Rats’ hollowed-out bodies also served as an effective dead drop for money, notes and other contraband being moved around Moscow.

Think you could be a spy? Try floating a one-man submarine into Singapore harbor and planting mines on Japanese ships in World War II. Not easy, but this submersible is cool.

If a CIA operative were caught, he could choose capture or death by this pin. When twisted the right way, the silver dollar would unleash a pin coated in saxitoxin. Its user would die in seconds from the poison.

And they all fit in this handy dandy sheath.

Spies aren’t usually assassins. But some weapons, like this umbrella, have been used in the field. The assassination umbrella is equipped with a pellet of toxic ricin that will infect and kill its target slowly over the course of a few days. Its last known use was on Bulgarian defector and BBC reporter Georgi Markov in London, 1978.

In the 40s, spies were using cameras smaller than your smartphone!

The OSS designed the Beano grenade to feel like a baseball and explode on impact — rather than bouncing away from its target and blowing up elsewhere.

Strange Robot Music Video Kicks Off The Weekend!

May 18, 2012subwaycreatures

If my friend asked me to be an extra for something like this I don’t really know how I would break it to him that we can’t be friends anymore. But it’s the weekend so who cares! Have a safe one everyone!

Swearing Lacrosse Baby Is Like Looking In A Mirror For Me

May 18, 2012subwaycreatures

I’ll never forget it. Got home from kindergarten and Asian Chris (even at 6 years old that’s how I identified him since we had so many Chris’ in the class) wouldn’t give me his extra chocolate chip cookie I wanted so bad. Walked around the house for an hour screaming ‘goddamn it!’ May or may not have punched a window out bare knuckled. Either way, if this kid is on the same path he’s gonna have issues when he gets older. Godspeed, my son!

Man’s Dick Falls Off After Penis Surgery

May 18, 2012subwaycreatures

I just cringed hearing this story. Flesh-eating bacteria? Gang green of the dick? No more sex? Sits to pee? AND the whole world now knows about it? This dude is living every man’s hell. Fuck, I’d go into hiding in Peru too. Like Machu Picchu kind of hiding. I don’t wanna come off insensitive but what’s the point of this guy living anymore? I’d for sure be swan diving into the wood chipper right about now. I could sue for all the money in the world and I wouldn’t be happy without my penis. My philosophy is it’s my dick’s world and I’m just living in it. Just saying…

Couple Keep Dude Up All Night With Sexcapades So He Puts It On The ‘Internets’

May 18, 2012subwaycreatures

Loud sex, barking dogs, construction workers, etc. are all disadvantages of living in an apartment in the city. I know, trust me. Not for nothing but you just did this guy a huge service. Putting that shit on the ‘internets’ is funny but if I were this guy, I’d send that link to everyone I knew and brag about it for the next year. Yea, did you hear that? That’s my doing WORK, son! You think this is going to make him stop?! No, no, my friend. You just opened Pandora’s Box!

Wanna hear what this guy listened to all night? Click here

EDC Is Finally Upon Us And I’m Like A Kid On Christmas Eve!

May 18, 2012subwaycreatures

Couldn’t ask for better weather this weekend and with 60,000+ expected in attendance just on Saturday alone, I’m staring at the clock waiting to get the hell out of here! Hopefully I don’t get too fucked up so I can get some amazing videos but I can’t guarantee anything. Look for me at MetLife, I’ll be the guy who looks cracked out climbing the scaffolding at the Cosmic Meadow stage.

Must See: Eric Kelly Keepin’ It Real

May 18, 2012subwaycreatures

What a bitter punk. But you know what? The funniest, most entertaining punk I’ve ever come across. Just keepin’ it real in his own gym and the best part is that these smug Wall Street assholes actually pay him to get treated like a punching bag. Not learning a goddamn thing other than how to bend over and just take it. I’m putting Eric Kelly on the watch list with Shoenice and Francis.