Tag: new york

Juiced Out And Drugged Up Roid Head Dies After Being Tased In Gym

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Authorities released a surveillance video from the surburban New York gym that shows 32-year-old Chad Brothers knocking over items in the lobby of the gym. He’s then seen pulling down several pieces of exercise equipment in the workout area. The video shows Brothers entering an office off-camera, followed soon after by a police officer with her gun drawn. He was eventually subdued by officers using stun guns. He went into cardiac arrest and died shortly after being taken to an Albany hospital. Authorities say Brothers died of “agitated delirium,” a condition that can result from steroid use.

 

Isn’t this every other day in gyms in the NY/NJ area? You can’t get that last rep up so you instantly go into a full on roid rage session, complete with toppling equipment and sending people running to their cars. Saw something like this on the boardwalk at the Jersey Shore in high school and I’m pretty sure that was the last time I was there. No thanks. I was innocently walking past Midway when a mildly retarded, juiced out, meathead ripped his shirt off and just started hollering at people and families for no reason. You know that feeling when you’re walking on train tracks across a bridge and all the sudden you hear a train coming? Nowhere to go and you know you’re gonna get hit? That’s how I felt. I figured I’d take the Jurassic Park approach and if I didn’t move he couldn’t see me. Well luckily for me he just barked in my face like a dog, I shit my pants, and we all called it a day. Anyway…I’m pretty sure that’s how the few people in this video felt when this guy went on his rampage. Just as helpless as Helen Keller. It’s unfortunate that he died but when you mix PCP, DBalls, and electricity, I’m pretty sure anyone’s heart will stop.

Rat The Size Of A Small Dog Found In NY Foot Locker

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HuffPost:

“There’s no way it’s a common sewer rat,” Dr. Robert S. Voss, the Curator of Mammals at The American Museum of Natural History in New York, told HuffPost after reviewing the picture. “I’m 90 percent certain that it’s a a Gambian pouched rat.” Voss estimated the rat to be about two-and-a-half feet in length. Another huge Gambian pouched rat made headlines last year when it was killed in Brooklyn’s Marcy houses. Voss said it’s possible this rat was once a pet that could have escaped or been released. Gambian pouched rats were once imported to the United States for sale as pets, but abc.net.au reports that an outbreak of monkeypox in the early 2000s caused the importation of African rodents to be banned. Despite its size, Voss said the rat is harmless and docile, so there’s no need to be worried if you encounter one. He did, however, recommend walking away and calling animal control immediately. An employee at the Foot Locker on Fordham Road in The Bronx who was asked about the image said he was not authorized to speak on the matter. Another representative from Foot Locker’s corporate offices told HuffPost she was not familiar with the image but said she would be looking into it.

Jesus Christ! Either Splinter from TMNT really exists or NYC has it’s first confirmed chupacabra. Two and a half feet?! How is this guy even holding this thing with one hand? I don’t care how docile or innocent this fuckin thing is, if I came across it I would shit and/or piss my pants. And the thought of someone having this as a pet is even more disturbing. No wonder they let it go, it’s equivalent to having a roommate in your apartment. Probably eating everything in site and hogging all the couch space. I hope I never see something like this again…!

Green Bay Must Be Shitting Themselves Right Now

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The defense pitched a shutout, two huge 4th down stops, Hakeem Nicks dirty birding all over the place, Eli showing why he’s a top QB in the NFL, Jacobs running people over like a MAC truck. I mean if you’re the Packers you have to be scared as all fuck right now, right? The Giants already showed that they can keep up with the Pack and go into Green Bay peaking on all cylinders. I hope Tom Coughlin’s face doesn’t freeze off again cause it’s gonna be a cold one! On to Wisconsin!

By the way, my cousin gave up his ticket to the game and this was him from 1:00 to 4:00 on playoff Sunday. One late Saturday night and the kid can’t hang. Unbelievable.

 

Bring On Atlanta!

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Is anyone hotter than Victor Cruz right now? I mean the guy only led the NFL in receiving yards this year and didn’t even play a full season! Even NBC had salsa music cued and ready to go when he scored his touchdown. Yes, the Giants fell asleep for a quarter and a half last night but thankfully it didn’t affect the outcome of the game. The defense stepped up big, Eli looked like a top 5 quarterback, and we have home field advantage for the first round of the playoffs. Tony Romo should probably consider retirement and Jason Garrett should be fired. I was at the game last night sitting directly under Jerry Jones’ box and it was the greatest feeling in the world to wave goodbye when the clock hit 0:00. 2012 couldn’t have started any better and bring on the Atlanta Fairies!

 

Giants Outlook: Week 8

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Coming off a BYE week, we’re getting most of our starters back, and playing the Miami Dolphins. I mean jesus christ if the Giants don’t win by 50 points I’ll consider it a moral victory for the Dolphins. The defense might even put up more points than the offense this week! The only question I have is who plays quarterback for the Dolphins when Matt Moore and JP Losman are knocked out of the game? There is no third stringer listed as of now so maybe they’ll throw Reggie Bush out there to take some snaps. A 9 point spread is embarrassing and the Giants will cover the over on their own. Giants -9 and the over at 43.5. Done and done!

 

217 Miami Dolphins +9½  -110 +400
43½ O -110
U -110
218 New York Giants -9½  -110 -500
Week 8

Giants/Jets Outlook: Week 6

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I still can’t get over how that game ended last week. I was positive we had the game locked in the last 2 minutes. In the red zone, gonna take the lead, let the defense seal the game. No! Eli throws to Cruz who slips on his route and pick-6 city. Just sitting on my uncomfortable-as-fuck futon in shock but that’s Giants Football for ya. This week the G-Men are home against a surprising Bills team. Lock down Stevie Johnson, blitz the shit outta Ryan Fitzpatrick, game over. MillerTime is a huge Bills fans so it will be fun to rub it in his face at 4:15. No way will the Bills be 5-1 after this week even though I said that last week about the Seahawks. Mistakes were made and they won’t this week. I’m taking Giants -3 but I like the under at 50.

213 Buffalo Bills +3  +105 +160
50 O -110
U -110
23½ O -115
U -115
214 New York Giants -3  -125 -190
27 O -110
U -120
Week 6
After making some changes at wide receiver the Jets might have actually upgraded their offense. Giving this kid Kerley a chance to play might be beneficial for the struggling Jets. They also get to play a winless Miami team whose star wide receiver already is predicting to get thrown out of the game in the second quarter on Monday night. If the Jets can’t win on Monday against a team that is clearly crumbling and has no quarterback then let the Just End The Season talks begin. Jets take this game -7 with the over at 42.
225 Miami Dolphins +7  -110 +250
42½ O -110
U -110
17½ O -120
U -110
226 New York Jets -7  -110 -300
24½ O -120
U -110
ESPNWeek 6

Philly Sports Made NY Sports Seem Not As Bad This Weekend

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Yankees missed the team bus to game 5, Devils and Rangers lost their season openers, Giants and Jets both fell short of comebacks. This was a weekend where one of the few times in my life I actually wished I was living as a vegetable in a hospital bed so I didn’t have to witness New York sports. The only thing to cushion the blow was the fact that the Phillies were upset at home Friday night and the Eagles ‘Dream Team’ keeps on dreamin’ of a win. Hey Philadelphia, misery loves company so welcome to the party. The reason it was worse than NY’s weekend was that your billion dollar baseball team lost in the first round of the playoffs in a season they were expected to win every game and your billion dollar football team is in the cellar of the NFC East. I hate the fact that the Giants sucked but thank Christ I don’t have to spend another week listening to you obnoxious Philly fans. With no basketball in sight, I guess it’s on to hockey for the city of brotherly love where I’m sure somehow you’ll still manage to bomb that season.

7 LI Students Arrested For Elaborate SAT Cheating Scam

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It was an elaborate ruse that involved fake IDs, air travel and lots of money. If only such effort was applied to actually studying. Between 2009 and this year, six high schoolers allegedly paid a college student between $1,500 and $2,500 to fly back home to New York to take the SAT for them. All seven were arrested this week for being part of the cheating scandal. According to prosecutors, the six current and former students of Great Neck North High School in Long Island, N.Y., hired 19-year-old Sam Eshaghoff, who attends Emory University, to impersonate them and take the standardized test. Eshaghoff presented at each test site a fake driver’s license bearing his photo with the paying student’s name, authorities said. The students had signed up to take the test at schools other than their own so they wouldn’t be recognized. And they got what they paid for: high scores ranging between 2140 and 2220, out of the SAT’s perfect score of 2400, prosecutors said. But rumors went around about a cheating ring (it’s high school, after all), which drew the school faculty’s attention. They were able to identify the cheaters because their scores seemed mismatched to their regular academic grades, and Eshaghoff was caught as the test taker after a handwriting analysis, according to authorities. Eshaghoff has pleaded not guilty to charges of scheming to defraud, criminal impersonation and falsifying business records. The students whom he impersonated were charged with misdemeanors and released without bail. Investigators are looking into whether Eshaghoff also took the test for students from other schools.

 

So let me get this straight. You spend $2,500 to fly this kid home, create fake IDs, and have this kid impersonate you so he can score high on your SATs for you and you go around school telling everyone? Well then, you deserve whatever you get! Isn’t it a known fact that secrets, rumors, and shit like this go around school like California wildfires? And how you gonna score a 2220 on your SATs when you have a GPA of 1.2? Unless you’re wearing a helmet to school and you’re counting cards like Rain Man, I’m not sure how you thought this was going to fly. Let me also say that $2,500 to me in high school was equivalent to $100,000 so I think they need to look into the parents on this one as well. I never had that kind of money sitting around nor would I spend it on anything that had to do with college, but maybe that’s just me. In no way, shape, or form was this a thought out plan. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your souls.

 

NY Giants LB Jonathan Goff Lost For Season

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NJ.com:

For the Giants, incredibly, it can get worse. And it just has. After losing three cornerbacks, defensive tackle Marvin Austin and backup linebacker Clint Sintim to season-ending injuries in the past month, the Giants will now be without their starting middle linebacker Jonathan Goff, who suffered a torn anterior cruciate ligament, according to someone informed of the injury. The person requested anonymity because the Giants haven’t yet commented on the situation. Someone else informed of the specifics of the injury, who also asked not to be named, said Goff knocked knees with a teammate in practice on Monday. He left to ice his knee, but was still having issues today, so he went for an MRI that revealed the full extent of the injury. The person said linebacker Kawika Mitchell is on his way for a visit and might be added to help fill the void created by the loss of Goff. Mitchell has not yet been signed, though. Mitchell, 31, was with the Giants in 2007, though he played the weak side while Antonio Pierce manned the middle. Mitchell also played for Giants defensive coordinator Perry Fewell for all of 2008 and five games of 2009 before suffering a season-ending injury. As for options on the roster, the team has left itself nothing but rookies behind Goff. Greg Jones, a sixth-round pick, was impressive in spurts in the preseason but is nowhere near ready to assume such a role as the starter in the middle. Undrafted rookie Mark Herzlich saw some time in the middle, but like Jones, moving into a starting role after a short offseason and training camp, would be a stretch. The backup in the middle during the preseason was Phillip Dillard, the team’s fourth-round pick last year, though he was waived and not added to the practice squad. Goff, a fifth-round pick in 2008 who has worked to become a more complete player, was in line for a sizeable payday after the season, as this was the final year of his rookie contract. He now joins cornerback Terrell Thomas, wide receivers Steve Smith and Domenik Hixon and linebacker/defensive end Mathias Kiwanuka as Giants who suffered serious injuries in their contract seasons over the past two years.

So at least we know that the NY Giants practice squad will be starting on Sunday afternoon. Jesus Christ I’m scared to even say this but just when you think it can’t get any worse, somehow it gets worse. I’m contemplating running down to the TIMEX field, suiting up, and jumping on the line of scrimmage. Giants’ fans hang in there. I’m still predicting a ‘W’ on Sunday! And on a side note, the Giants defense/special teams is still somehow ranked above the Jets…

Virtual Subway Grocery Shopping Coming?

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Virtual subway grocery shopping? Rell rould you rook at that! Why are the Asians always so damn more advanced than us! We import everything from them and their technology is always 10 years ahead of us, partly why our economy is in the shits. Right off the bat I can tell you that this new technology will have zero effect on me since I still use a Zack Morris phone from 1989 with no internet. Here’s the thing South Korea must not have in common with us New Yorkers. We have just as many bums in our subways than actual commuters. Installing this on every platform is like throwing chum in the ocean during a shark feeding frenzy. I can just picture ‘one eyed Ray’ from the A-train licking the fruit section of these virtual boards like it was the “Lickable Wallpaper” in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Or Stinky Steve from the 6-train jerkin off to the fresh cut steaks in the meat section. Just hobos coming from everywhere to drool over these products that they will never actually see in real life. Not the most desirable situation for strap hangers who are just trying to order dinner for their family that night. I’ll tell you who I will give money or food to though. These guys: