Tag: subway

Woman Unnecessarily Shaving Man’s Head On The Subway

subwaycreatures

 

This is the kind of bullshit that pisses me off. Attention seekers just trying to piss everyone off. You see her turn around and smile at the camera? You’re not even homeless so why would you do this here? Hey hun, I think he’s good. You’ve been buzzing his scalp since Queens and at this point I’m just waiting for the blood to start trickling down his face. It almost seems like she’s getting off on this which is even more bizarre. Get a room.

Man Selling Puppies On Subway Train Like They’re Bootleg DVDs

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Sales 101: Find your demographic. But needless to say this asshole didn’t go to college or take any sales classes or else he would know that people who carry $300 cash on them don’t ride the subways. They are above ground in cabs or Lincoln town cars. How’s it been going so far, trying to sell them? ‘It’s been going good!’ Bullshit my friend, bullshit. You started the day with 5 and you still have 5. That means you haven’t sold one dog yet. So unless ‘it’s going good’ means women are awwwing at your puppies, then yes, you’ve cornered the market.

And can someone please tell me how old a ‘mumf and a half years old’ is?

Opossum Causes D Train Evacuation

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HuffPost:

A surly straphanger curled up underneath a seat caused a Bronx-bound D train to be evacuated early Friday morning. The New York Times reports an opossum was spotted on the train sometime after leaving Coney Island at 4:30AM, warming up by a heating radiator. It remains unclear how or why the opossum boarded the train, although one animal expert wonders if it was drawn to the heat or the smell of food. Passengers were given the boot from the train when it got to West 4th Street, where officials tried to collar the creature but retreated when it “bared its teeth and snarled.” The train was then brought to a subway yard in the Bronx where it was to be met by Animal Care and Control agents, who were to remove the opossum but who have not yet confirmed that they’ve done so…

 

First we have enormous pre-historic sized rats in Foot Locker and now opossums commuting on the D train uptown. What the shit is going on? Opossum’s are just over sized rats so let’s not try to make it sound like its “only an opossum.” These things are just as nasty as subway rats so yes, I wouldn’t want to be riding in this car but why an evacuation? Move people to another car and keep that train moving! If I’m awake at 4:30am and trying to get to my job and get rerouted because of this I would be so pissed I would probably go home and take the day off. How many alternate trains do you think are running at 4:30am down on W 4th St. and how much motivation do you think I would have to walk to another train? None. Take a pic of the opossum, email it to my boss, and call it a day.

 

Yes, Unfortunately They Still Do The Pantless Subway Ride

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Got a text from MillerTime Saturday reminding me to document the ‘Pantless Subway Ride’ on Sunday. I said thanks for the reminder and said good call but there was absolutely no way I was going there. Not because the Giants were on TV winning the first ever playoff game in the new Giants Stadium, but because if you’ve ever seen the people who participate in this event you would stay home that day too. It’s rarely hot chicks wearing lingerie or sexy underwear. It’s always fat, ugly, hairy people who sprawl out on the subway trains and make you feel awkward as hell.

I also never understood how people could feel comfortable riding the trains like that in the first place. Put the cold weather aside for a second and think about all the disgusting things you’ve ever seen happen on the subway and these people only have a thin layer of cotton separating their bare skin from those surfaces. Some don’t even have that. The only thing I will thank them for is that they did it on a Sunday when the rest of America was watching football and I hope they all took bleach showers when they got home.

Chick With Ukulele Shows Up Panhandlers On Subway

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If there’s anything more annoying than those people who play instruments or dance or beg for money on the subway, it’s when spectators get involved in the act. These black guys look on in confusion while this chick steals the show as if she’s in the recording studio. Love when the guy tries to MC halfway through the song and remind everyone on the train that they are the ones who get the money. The way this probably broke down, hipster chick now has a record deal and the Bongo Brothers are making their way over to the next A Train.

Niggas In Paris…Subway Remix

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It’s been a long time since our last post with the holidays coming up and our actual jobs being as hectic as they’ve been. Let’s see…since our last post #occupywallstreet has fallen off the face of the earth, North Korea lost it’s leader, the Giants are blowing they’re playoff chances, and I’m pretty sure we found a cure for AIDS. But what better way to get back into it than with this fuckin guy.

You ever get up in the morning and look in the mirror and say to yourself “goddamn it’s gonna be a great day!” I’m pretty sure that’s where this guy’s head is at. He got all his shopping done, Kwanzaa right around the corner, booked New Years plans, and not a worry in the world. Grimace from McDonald’s not only sang the whole song, but he included the parts with Will Ferrell and Jon Heder from Blades of Glory. And not only did he include them but he nailed them! Straight up white man voice out of no where. Something about December that just puts everyone in a great mood!

Black people let me say this, just because this was entertaining and funny, do not use this as an excuse to pull this shit everywhere. It gets old fast and I’m sure half the white people on that subway car had no idea what song this dude was singing anyway.

Side note: Pretty sure that was Leon from “Curb Your Enthusiasm” just crushing this song

– Thanks to Stewart and Justin for this