For Those Of You Still Campaigning For The Kony 2012 Cause…

 

After doing some research and getting some help from outsiders, it’s becoming more and more obvious that this “Kony 2012 Campaign” is bullshit. I was sent this article below and it sums up most of the suspicions I had and everyone should probably look more into it before donating money or spreading the cause. I also attached the link at the bottom if anyone is curious where it came from.

 

THERE is growing outrage in Uganda over a viral internet film viewed by more than 32 million people in four days that suggests Africa’s longest-running conflict is still raging in the country’s north. The 30-minute video, Kony2012, was produced by three American videographers campaigning for greater efforts to capture Joseph Kony, the leader of the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA). But Kony and his diminishing troops, many of them kidnapped child soldiers, fled northern Uganda six years ago and are now spread across the jungles of neighbouring countries. “What that video says is totally wrong, and it can cause us more problems than help us,” said Dr Beatrice Mpora, director of Kairos, a community health organisation in Gulu, a town that was once the centre of the rebels’ activities. “There has not been a single soul from the LRA here since 2006. Now we have peace, people are back in their homes, they are planting their fields, they are starting their businesses. That is what people should help us with.”

Joseph Kony, a former church altarboy, has spread terror through eastern and central Africa for almost three decades, as he has pursued an aimless war that has killed thousands of people and at one point forced hundreds of thousands from their homes. The video, from Invisible Children Inc, an activism organisation, was posted to YouTube and Vimeo, a film-sharing site, on Monday night and by late on Thursday it had been viewed 32,600,000 times. It aims to make Kony “famous” by encouraging supporters to plaster US cities with posters, in order to make the fight against the Lord’s Resistance Army an issue of “national interest” to Washington. That, the video’s makers claim, will ensure funding for 100 US military advisors sent to train African armies to find Kony will continue. “Suggesting that the answer is more military action is just wrong,” said Javie Ssozi, an influential Ugandan blogger. “Have they thought of the consequences? Making Kony ‘famous’ could make him stronger. Arguing for more US troops could make him scared, and make him abduct more children, or go on the offensive.” Rosebell Kagumire, a Ugandan journalist specialising in peace and conflict reporting, said: “This paints a picture of Uganda six or seven years ago, that is totally not how it is today. It’s highly irresponsible”. There were criticisms that the film quoted only three Ugandans, two of them politicians, and that it spent more time showing the filmmaker’s five-year-old son being told about Joseph Kony than explaining the root causes of the conflict.

Invisible Voices has faced criticism over its finances. Of more than £6 million it spent in 2001, less than £2.3 million was for activities helping people on the ground. The rest went on “awareness programmes and products”, management, media and others. “It is totally misleading to suggest that the war is still in Uganda,” said Fred Opolot, spokesman for the Ugandan government. “I suspect that if that’s the impression they are making, they are doing it.

http://www.independent.ie/world-news/africa/32-million-watch-controversial-video-of-ugandan-warlord-joseph-kony-in-just-four-days-3044846.html

Man Nearly Blows His Head Off With Shot Gun

 

Remember growing up when your parents would always tell you not to put your face over the fireworks you were about to light? Well this is kinda like that only with a high powered shot gun. People like this deserve to get Kurt Cobain’d because if you’re stupid enough to put your face over the barrel of a shot gun that you just pumped 2 rounds into, I can’t feel bad for you. If the hat you’re wearing on your head has a hole in it that looks like a gaping asshole, you know something went wrong. Now go buy a lottery ticket because today is your lucky day.

Please Accept This Apology (NSFWish)

First, I just want to apologize for posting the Kony 2012 video this morning. The only rule I ever had before I made this website was that I would always keep all politics out of it. Yes, it’s an atrocity what is going on in Uganda and it’s always sad when children are involved but here’s the thing. After talking about it with a bunch of people, I agree that you can’t watch one Youtube video and think you understand all the facts about what’s going on over there. Yes, the video is powerful and moving but it’s also only one source that we’re getting the information from. The charity group Invisible Children apparently has been under scrutiny for not providing certain information to the Better Business Bureau and has been called shady by many professionals. I’m not saying they mean wrong or that this whole thing is a scam, I’m just saying know ALL the facts. If you’re more interested read this or this.

Now, I’m not sure how I make up for it but I did come across this video which might be a start. Maybe some women can tell me A) how this is comfortable B) What the point of even wearing pants at this point is. Either way I’m pretty sure this defies the laws of science.

Chris Phillips And His Girlfriend Assault Mother Over Taco Sauce And Salsa

HuffPost: Cops jailed a Florida man and his girlfriend on Monday after the two allegedly attacked his mother because she used his salsa and taco sauce without permission, according to police reports obtained by the Smoking Gun. Christopher Phillips, 23, started arguing with his mom, 55-year-old Rebecca, “because Rebecca used Christopher’s salsa and taco sauce on her dinner,” an officer wrote. The saucy swindle apparently enraged the man — he allegedly put his mother in such a crushing headlock that her glasses broke. Christopher Phillips then went into another room to relay the horrific news to his girlfriend, Lisa Tyre, who then also began yelling at the mother. That argument escalated, leaving Rebecca Phillips with two smacks to the face and a cut lip. When her son wouldn’t let her have the keys to her car to leave, she walked to her husband’s workplace, where they called cops. Christopher Phillips was charged with domestic battery and held on a $750 bond. Tyre was released on her own recognizance the same day she was arrested.

 

So I’m gonna go out on a limb and say Christopher is on the left? Or no, the right? I’m sure the cops asked the same thing when they showed up. OK, so which one of you is Chris?

Are times really that tough that you need to pull a power move like a headlock on your own mother for eating your taco sauce? I mean how hard is it to replace taco sauce and salsa? Imagine if she ate his filet mignon that had been defrosting? Good ol’ Chris would be on death row right now. Nah, just kidding. Something tells me Christopher has never had a nice steak in his life if he’s this bent outta shape about 99 cent taco. Kinda reminds me of the time when my college roommate ate my last Ramen Noodles and I threw his laptop out the window. Seemed like a fair trade at the time.

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong; Real Or Fake?

 

Not sure what the hell is going on in this clip but might have to lean with real. No one smashes a picture over their head on purpose, right? But then again, why the hell is a picture randomly falling off the wall at the most perfect time? What do you think? Real or Fake?

UPDATE: Definitely real. Her chair bumps the picture and that’s why it falls. Who has a self portrait of themselves like that. Bitch got what she deserved.

 

Tazer Soccer Rugby Sounds Like An Amazing Game

 

Where the hell do I sign up? Tazer ball seems like the most bad ass game I’ve ever seen. I’ve been tazed before and it straight up paralyzes the shit out of you. Mix that with tackling, hard hits, and a soccer ball on steroids and you have a new Olympic sport. Yea there might be some fatalities, severe injuires, and/or paralysis, but that’s what draws the crowds. People don’t go to NASCAR to watch the cars drive in circles. They go to watch the Dale Earnhardt’s of the world crash into cement walls at 200MPH. I think this is a much better way to go out. You hear about Rick? He went up for the ball, got tazed in the head, landed on his neck, and then run over by 5 juiceheads. He didn’t make it but damn what a bad ass.

Man Drinks Gasoline, Lights Cigarette, Guess What Happens Next?

HuffPost: HAVELOCK, N.C. — Police say a North Carolina man is dead after he accidentally drank from a jar of gasoline and then smoked a cigarette. Havelock police received a 911 call about 9:55 p.m. Monday after 43-year-old Gary Allen Banning set himself on fire. Banning was transported to UNC Burn Center in Chapel Hill, where he died early Tuesday morning. City spokeswoman Diane Miller said investigators believe Banning was at a friend’s apartment when he apparently mistook a jar of gasoline sitting by the kitchen sink for a beverage. After taking a gulp, he spit the gas out and got some on his clothes. Sometime later, investigators say Banning went outside to smoke a cigarette and burst into flame. Havelock police and the city fire marshal are continuing their investigation.

Continuing their investigation? Sounds like an open and shut case to me. This might sound crazy but do you know why you aren’t allowed to smoke at gas stations? Rumor has it that gasoline is highly flammable. So if you just so happen to get some on you, or even drink some, you’re considered highly flammable. But leave it up to someone in the south to have gasoline sitting in a jar on the counter so someone can mistakenly drink it. At least they said it was a mistake. I call bullshit. You can smell gasoline from a mile away so I’m trying to understand how one might accidentally pick up a jar of it and drink it like it’s a Big Gulp from 7-11. Anyway I hope kids learn the lesson from this story…don’t live in the south.

“What’s In My Mouth?”

 

If I had nickel for every time I’ve heard these three questions in the same sentence…

– Where I am?

– Why am I here?

– What’s in mouth?

…I’d be a millionaire.

‘David goes to the dentist’ was funny because it was a little kid who had never been hopped up on drugs before. This girl, however, looks like she was just picked up from a frat house the morning after a party. Hey mom, she’s just gonna keep asking what’s in her mouth so as long as you’re filming it, have a little fun and start making things up.