Tag: dumb

Typical Douche Boston Fan Licks Entire Subway Railing For $1

subwaycreatures

 

Kid’s parents must be proud. I’m 99.9% sure a homeless bum wouldn’t even do this for $1. You know why? Because even a bum knows that he touches that railing everyday gimping into the subway after sifting through garbage with his hand down his pants. $1 doesn’t even get you half way to paying your subway fare so you still have 2 railings to go shithead. Hope it was worth it cause your mouth is now as clean as Magic Johnson’s dick while inside Pamela Anderson’s pussy. If anyone recognizes this subway entrance please share with us so I can never go in it ever again.

Side note: I no longer blame the Asians for wearing gloves and masks all over NYC and I give this kid one week to live.

Flula, The German Nazi, Doesn’t Understand Football’s Name

subwaycreatures

 

Hey Flula, can you’s explains to meh vhy in the German soccer dey fall ven no one evens touches them? Vhy do dey do dis? And den dey roll avound on deh ground like dey’ve been shot by American sniper. Vhy? And vhy can no one score goal in German soccer? I feel like vatching German soccer is 90 minutes of my life I vill never get back. I don’t understand deh name soccer or German football…should be called German Vagineball ifs yous ask meh.

This Pathetic Asshole Just Made My Day!

subwaycreatures

 

You know what? I ain’t even mad at this kid. Honestly, what does he have to lose throwing all this shit out there? Clearly he can only go up from where he is now. What’s the worst that can happen? He finds another creepy dude pretending to be a hot chick who then comes to his house and tortures and kills him? I’m sure that’s more excitement then he’ll see in an entire year.

Now, you want a tall, modelish, tan, chick with not one pimple. Welcome to the club brotha. I’ve been saying that since my first boner. And as far as the vampire thing goes, I got good news and bad news. Vampires seem to be in right now with girls your age. Bad part is that they will be expecting you to look like the actual characters from Twilight. I respect the confidence and drive but I have a feeling you’re gonna get stuck sexting with the gay, atheist ‘herma-daffa-dite’.