Category: Strange

Man Selling Puppies On Subway Train Like They’re Bootleg DVDs

subwaycreatures

 

Sales 101: Find your demographic. But needless to say this asshole didn’t go to college or take any sales classes or else he would know that people who carry $300 cash on them don’t ride the subways. They are above ground in cabs or Lincoln town cars. How’s it been going so far, trying to sell them? ‘It’s been going good!’ Bullshit my friend, bullshit. You started the day with 5 and you still have 5. That means you haven’t sold one dog yet. So unless ‘it’s going good’ means women are awwwing at your puppies, then yes, you’ve cornered the market.

And can someone please tell me how old a ‘mumf and a half years old’ is?

Remote Controlled Flying Humans Might Not Have Been The Best Choice To Use In Downtown NYC

subwaycreatures

 

Fuckin hipsters drive me crazy. Always trying to be ironic and do their hardest to not “fit in.” So I guess since the #OWS movement is over, they need to find a new way to waste their time. Hey! Let’s go down to where the World Trade Center used to stand and fly remote controlled planes in the shape of humans! Yea! And then it’ll look just like on 9/11 when people really were flying through the air! Or we can go near large, famous bridges that people jump off each year! Yea! It’ll be totally artistic!

I mean don’t get me wrong, these things are kinda cool but the location they chose makes one scratch their head. Goddamn hipsters always gotta kick the hornet’s nest.

Mother Gives Birth To Baby On Way To Hospital NSFW??

subwaycreatures

 

Well look at what I found! Imagine looking down and there’s a baby in your pants? This has to have been the calmest, most laid back child birth ever. No pushing or pain. Just ‘Hunny, our kid just fell out.’ The only thing I can honestly say ‘thank god’ for is the fact that she was sitting down. She’s clearly so loose that the kid woulda just fell out onto the floor. Hopefully they got to the hospital safely (as long as the driver stopped filming) and the baby is OK.

Side Note: How about in 10 years when this kid has the awkwardness of watching himself get spit out of his mom’s vagina on the Whitestone Bridge on Youtube. Love to watch the ‘reaction video’ to that.

Chinese Play Hot Potato With Live Grenade

subwaycreatures

 

Fuckin’ Chinese are crazy people…like when the hell will this ever be relevant in combat? If Jun Tao hands you a live grenade, instincts should tell you to throw that thing immediately, right? Not hand it to the next guy like you’re the best man at his wedding and wait for it to go off. How in the hell is this country so much more technologically advanced than us?! Makes for one hell of an end zone dance though, huh?

Leave It To Sweden To Host The First Techno Rave Church Service

subwaycreatures

 

So what do you guys wanna do tonight? I dunno, I was thinking about taking some pills, heading over to the church, and hopefully hooking up. Sounds like a plan!

This is definitely what Jesus pictured when he died for everyone, right? Just a massive E party supplied with holy water ($8.00 a bottle), a techno DJ, and an atmosphere that won’t make you feel guilty at all! If you don’t leave with more sins than what you came in with, you obviously didn’t have a good time. I would just hate to be the guy who has to clean up for the old people mass in the morning. Mopping sweat, puke, and semen off the floor cannot be what one calls a happy life.

6 Year Old Gets Ticket After Driving Toy Motorcycle Into SUV

subwaycreatures

HuffPost:

CIUDAD JUAREZ, Mexico — Police in this border city repented Thursday over ticketing a 6-year-old boy for reckless driving, driving without a license and not having his vehicle registered after he drove his miniature motorcycle into an SUV. The boy’s mother, Karla Noriega, said police impounded the miniature gasoline-powered motorbike that her son got for Christmas after he crashed into an SUV on Dec. 27. Noriega decided to go to the media and make the case public after finding out she would have to pay what she called a “ridiculous” $183 in fines to recover the toy motorbike. City council Secretary Hector Arceluz said Thursday that authorities had dropped the fines, released the motorbike and would punish the police officers for having acted improperly. Noriega’s son Gael was happy to get his minibike back, but said it no longer works after the accident.

 

What? You think just cause you’re 6 you don’t have to abide by the rules? I woulda tested this kid for a DUI. Get him to walk a straight line and recite his ABCs without singing them. Oh, you don’t know your ABCs? We’re taking you downtown for a breathalyzer. That’ll teach him. What a great picture that would be. 6 year old in the back of a police car driving to the station with a toy motorcycle hanging out of the trunk. Poor kid is gonna have a rough time as it is growing up since his name is Gael so hopefully this toughens him up.

 

How Many Of You Would Throw Down On Black In This Situation?

subwaycreatures

So I went to AC last weekend and 3 times there was a table that had a color that showed up at least 10 straight times. My personal rule is to stay away from those tables because I feel like it’s a sucker’s bet but my friends had other ideas. On this specific table, red popped up 2 more rolls before black appeared. Of course my friends had thrown $100 on black each roll and in about 2 minutes they were already down $400. Now betting like that right off the bat can make or break your night. You’re either doing bottle service at the club later or you’re testing out Newton’s law of gravity from the top of the casino. Well, I found my friend at 1am sleeping in the room so you know how his night went. As for me, I have a bad habit of being up and giving it all back throughout the night, then taking more money out of the ever-so-available ATMs they have sitting around with $6.00 service charges. But my question to everyone is what would you do if you saw these numbers on a roulette table?

Yes, Unfortunately They Still Do The Pantless Subway Ride

subwaycreatures

 

Got a text from MillerTime Saturday reminding me to document the ‘Pantless Subway Ride’ on Sunday. I said thanks for the reminder and said good call but there was absolutely no way I was going there. Not because the Giants were on TV winning the first ever playoff game in the new Giants Stadium, but because if you’ve ever seen the people who participate in this event you would stay home that day too. It’s rarely hot chicks wearing lingerie or sexy underwear. It’s always fat, ugly, hairy people who sprawl out on the subway trains and make you feel awkward as hell.

I also never understood how people could feel comfortable riding the trains like that in the first place. Put the cold weather aside for a second and think about all the disgusting things you’ve ever seen happen on the subway and these people only have a thin layer of cotton separating their bare skin from those surfaces. Some don’t even have that. The only thing I will thank them for is that they did it on a Sunday when the rest of America was watching football and I hope they all took bleach showers when they got home.