Category: VIDEOS

So What Was With All The Bodies In The Subway Over The Weekend?

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HuffPost: This past weekend, New York City’s subway system experienced four deaths in less than 24 hours. The Associated Press reports that all of the incidents took place on Saturday, and police say none of the victims were related. The first death occurred on Saturday morning at 2:01 a.m. at an R train station in Elmhurst, Queens. According to The Wall Street Journal, the victim is believed to have fallen down the stairs. The AP adds that he was reportedly in his 60s. About six hours later, the AP reports that a man in his 20s was struck and killed by an L train on 14th Street in Manhattan. Daily Intel adds that he was standing on the tracks between 3rd Avenue and Union Square. The Wall Street Journal identified the victim as Brian O’Mara of Garden City, N.Y., and put his time of death at 8:25 a.m. The third fatality occurred on the A line Saturday afternoon in Brooklyn at the Nostrand Avenue station. The Wall Street Journal writes that a little after 4 p.m., an MTA employee spotted a body on the tracks within the subway tunnel. On Saturday evening, the fourth death took place on the L line in Manhattan. The New York Daily News reports that at about 10 p.m., a man’s head was spotted between a subway car and platform within the Sixth Avenue station.

 

So apparently Death was in town riding the subways on Saturday and just leaving bodies all over the place like it was Jonestown. Is that a rat at the end of the platform? No, looks more like a human head. Oh, ok. Sounds like some Final Destination kind of shit and wherever that 5th victim is who made it out alive, you don’t have very long before you cross the street and get crushed by a garbage truck.

 

Russian Woman Scores A Perfect 10 Out Of 10 After Getting Owned By Car

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See, it’s funny cause she’s OK. Hunny, you’re crossing a highway in Russia. That tip toeing shit isn’t going to fly, especially when the chances of all of the motorists being drunk are pretty high. But I must commend her. She hit the windshield, flipped, landed on her head and still dusted her coat off, collected her bags, and got on with her day. One tough bitch! Russians I tell ya. Something else running through their veins over there.

Leave It To Sweden To Host The First Techno Rave Church Service

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So what do you guys wanna do tonight? I dunno, I was thinking about taking some pills, heading over to the church, and hopefully hooking up. Sounds like a plan!

This is definitely what Jesus pictured when he died for everyone, right? Just a massive E party supplied with holy water ($8.00 a bottle), a techno DJ, and an atmosphere that won’t make you feel guilty at all! If you don’t leave with more sins than what you came in with, you obviously didn’t have a good time. I would just hate to be the guy who has to clean up for the old people mass in the morning. Mopping sweat, puke, and semen off the floor cannot be what one calls a happy life.

6 Year Old Gets Ticket After Driving Toy Motorcycle Into SUV

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HuffPost:

CIUDAD JUAREZ, Mexico — Police in this border city repented Thursday over ticketing a 6-year-old boy for reckless driving, driving without a license and not having his vehicle registered after he drove his miniature motorcycle into an SUV. The boy’s mother, Karla Noriega, said police impounded the miniature gasoline-powered motorbike that her son got for Christmas after he crashed into an SUV on Dec. 27. Noriega decided to go to the media and make the case public after finding out she would have to pay what she called a “ridiculous” $183 in fines to recover the toy motorbike. City council Secretary Hector Arceluz said Thursday that authorities had dropped the fines, released the motorbike and would punish the police officers for having acted improperly. Noriega’s son Gael was happy to get his minibike back, but said it no longer works after the accident.

 

What? You think just cause you’re 6 you don’t have to abide by the rules? I woulda tested this kid for a DUI. Get him to walk a straight line and recite his ABCs without singing them. Oh, you don’t know your ABCs? We’re taking you downtown for a breathalyzer. That’ll teach him. What a great picture that would be. 6 year old in the back of a police car driving to the station with a toy motorcycle hanging out of the trunk. Poor kid is gonna have a rough time as it is growing up since his name is Gael so hopefully this toughens him up.

 

How Many Of You Would Throw Down On Black In This Situation?

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So I went to AC last weekend and 3 times there was a table that had a color that showed up at least 10 straight times. My personal rule is to stay away from those tables because I feel like it’s a sucker’s bet but my friends had other ideas. On this specific table, red popped up 2 more rolls before black appeared. Of course my friends had thrown $100 on black each roll and in about 2 minutes they were already down $400. Now betting like that right off the bat can make or break your night. You’re either doing bottle service at the club later or you’re testing out Newton’s law of gravity from the top of the casino. Well, I found my friend at 1am sleeping in the room so you know how his night went. As for me, I have a bad habit of being up and giving it all back throughout the night, then taking more money out of the ever-so-available ATMs they have sitting around with $6.00 service charges. But my question to everyone is what would you do if you saw these numbers on a roulette table?

Polish Military Prosecutor Shoots Himself In Face; Survives

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Buzzfeed:

Col. Mikolaj Przybyl was defending the country’s team of military prosecutors against leaks that suggested it mishandled investigations to protect a deeply corrupt military. The government has been considering merging the civilian and military prosecutors as a result.

No real sense of urgency over in Poland huh? Does shit like this happen every day? Did you not see everyone calmly get up and meander over to the guy who just tried to blow his head off? That whole area of countries over there scares the shit out of me. They just seem cold and emotionless. How much must it suck when you can’t even kill yourself the right way? If this guy’s life didn’t suck in the first place, he will now be eating through a straw and breathing through a tube for the rest of his life.

Woman’s Bungee Cord Snaps Over Crocodile Infested Water

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Buzzfeed:

Erin Laung Worth’s bungee cord snapped during her 350-foot jump over the Zambezi River in Africa. The Aussie tourist somehow survived the fall as well as the “croc-infested waters.”

Everyone always asks me ‘why don’t you live a little and do something like skydiving or bungee jumping.’ Well first off I’m horrified of heights but also sometimes when you skydive, the chute doesn’t open and sometimes when you bungee jump, the cord breaks after a 350 foot fall and you smack into crocodile infested water. Now luckily this chick survived somehow but you’ll never see me doing this. If I wanted to thrill seek I would go out to a bar in Harlem, get wasted, and try to find my way home walking. I like my odds better there.

Side Note: This video kind of reminded me of Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom

Yes, Unfortunately They Still Do The Pantless Subway Ride

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Got a text from MillerTime Saturday reminding me to document the ‘Pantless Subway Ride’ on Sunday. I said thanks for the reminder and said good call but there was absolutely no way I was going there. Not because the Giants were on TV winning the first ever playoff game in the new Giants Stadium, but because if you’ve ever seen the people who participate in this event you would stay home that day too. It’s rarely hot chicks wearing lingerie or sexy underwear. It’s always fat, ugly, hairy people who sprawl out on the subway trains and make you feel awkward as hell.

I also never understood how people could feel comfortable riding the trains like that in the first place. Put the cold weather aside for a second and think about all the disgusting things you’ve ever seen happen on the subway and these people only have a thin layer of cotton separating their bare skin from those surfaces. Some don’t even have that. The only thing I will thank them for is that they did it on a Sunday when the rest of America was watching football and I hope they all took bleach showers when they got home.