Girls Jump Gate In Subway, Fight NYPD #OccupyJailCell

 

Youtube:

Girls jumps NYC Subway gate to avoid fare. When cops try to arrest them…. this is what happens.

 

Damn times must really be tough. For $2.25 you’ve now tacked on avoiding a subway fare, resisting arrest, and assaulting a police officer. Very impressive. Most people don’t realize that most gates in the subway are watched by police on surveillance cameras . My friends found that out the hard way back in high school when they decided to hop the turnstiles and 2 seconds later police had them in HQ handing out fines. What a feeling that must be for the police though. Sitting there all day just waiting for someone to hop the gate and BAM! ‘Pssst. 10-4, We got a group of female hoppers. I’m going in! Gonna need some backup they look a little hostile.’

 

Sidenote: If I were NYPD I would definitely wanna be the plain clothes cop who carries the badge around his neck. Straight up 21 Jump Street style. Bad ass!

 

 

TMI: Mrs. Brady Had Crabs

“I made a poor choice (when I slept with John Lindsay), and I woke up the next morning…itchy. I believe in karma, I just didn’t know it would happen overnight or that I would be punished with these little critters. That scared the hell out of me. Have you ever had crabs?”

Gosh thanks Florence Henderson. If there was anything to make my day any worse, I get to picture your hippie bush infested with dirty fuckin lice crawling all over it. I know you’ve been out of the spotlight for a while but why must you insist on letting the world know about this? You wanna hear some breaking news? No one cares! I always said I would’ve loved to be alive in the 60s and 70s. Everyone just doing drugs and having sex all over the place without a worry in the world. Well apparently not. And former NYC mayor, John Lindsay, bought her flowers to apologize? Now THAT’S how you treat a ho! ‘Hey sorry about that STD thing. Here’s a bouquet of roses, don’t sweat it.’ How can you feel bad for Mrs. Brady here? She was married and banging a politician. If you’re not asking for some kind of STD then you really are living in a perfect world in The Brady Bunch.

Is This Couple Not A Match Made in Hell?

 

No, this is not Halloween…this is Saturday night at 2am in the NYC subway. The only thing more shocking in this video to me is the fact that whoever is the cameraman is able to sit across from these walks of life that call themselves humans. How can this person stomach this shit. They are popping and peeling the skin from each others faces. Have some more Meth you disgusting fucks! If I was even the least bit curious about doing Meth, this just sealed the deal for me tighter than a nuns pussy. Scared straight! If I were ever in this position everyone has the ‘all clear’ to push me in front of the next in coming L train. Unbelievable that people like this really exist.

Russian Chick Somehow Walks Away From Polar Bear Attack

 

It might just be me but does this not look like the strangest place to see this? I understand it’s NORTHERN Russia but does that mean they have Coca-Cola polar bears walking down the streets downtown? I mean if they’re plane had just crashed on a tropical island where everything had strange ‘Dharma’ writing all over then that’s completely understandable of course. But when I hear polar bear I think Arctic conditions and seals and Eskimos. Is this how far global warming has come that the polar bears are now moving in next door in Russian towns?

Lady is lucky to be alive and we have to thank whoever was filming or else we wouldn’t have this little gem. I love how in these situations people keep the camera rolling, especially for the embarrassing pants fall. You know this person could of edited that part out before they posted this but decided it gave the video just a little bit more. Thank you Russia, for finally having the technology so we can see what your daily life is like. We don’t get polar bear attacks here too often.

Nothing Like Getting Caught Jerking Off In The NYC Subway

 

Youtube:

Video taken at 3:20 A.M., Saturday September 3, 2011, at Broadway-Lafayette station in New York City. This man exposed himself and masturbated for over twenty minutes on an isolated subway platform. I made two complaints to the station agent, but the masturbator got on a downtown F train around 3:35 A.M. He was not apprehended.

So you leave the bar lonely and miserable after striking out with every chick you approached that night. You don’t wanna spend a lot of money on a cab so you decide to duck into the subway and jump on the F train. You get down there only to find that you are alone on the platform. Do you A) sit down and wait for the train B) Think about what booty call you’re gonna hit up as soon as you get home or C) Whip out your cock and just ferociously jerk off until the next train comes? If you’ve selected C, then this was most likely you this past Saturday. This guy is cranking his wood like he’s 16 years old with an addiction problem. And in the subway no less? This guy MUST be a CitySubwayCreature follower and be thinking of all the Subway Treasures we’ve been posting. That’s the only thing I can think of.

It always amazes me how people like this are so oblivious to their surroundings. How do you not see the person across the way filming you?! Do you think you’re the only one who uses the subway at 3:30am on a Saturday morning? I must say, there’s nothing more that turns me on than the NYC subway late at night. The garbage, the rats, the strange people you come across. Shit, I’m getting hard talking about it. This man defines the term City Subway Creature!

 

Side note: For those of you who take the F train, think about this video next time you’re on it and holding onto that hand railing.

 

Russian Guy Grabs 1000 Boobs For Politics Sake?

 

I want to be a part of this political party! Instead of kissing babies you just walk around grabbing tits? Sign me up! Only in Russia would you find 1,000 women who would even let you do such a thing. This guy is just walking around grabbing women like he’s picking fruit. 50% of them were excited about it, 45% you could just see the terror in their eyes, and 5% I’m pretty sure aren’t even 18 years old. Try this in NY and see what happens…

Man Walks Away From Crazy Motorcycle Accident

Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it…BAM! Motorcycle rider walks right back into frame after pulling off a 720 through the air with no helmet on. Not gonna lie I did not see that coming. Expected him to be dead in the road and then have a sightseeing bus loaded with camera-holding Asians run his lifeless body over just so no one could identify the poor bastard. Is this just a regular day for this Asian country? This guy miraculously survives a motorcycle accident and traffic continues to roll through as if it’s 5pm on Tuesday in NYC. Anyone wanna check this dude or at least get his autograph? I’ve said it before but I hope this guy runs to the nearest store and buys a lottery ticket.

Sixteen Year Old Dies From Jerking Off 42 Times

 

m24digital.com:

A 16-year-old boy died after masturbating 42 times without stopping in Rubiato town, in Goiás region, Brazil.

His mother told a local newspaper that she already knew about his son’s addiction and that she planned to see the doctor, but the decision came too late.

The young man began to masturbate at midnight and spent the whole night to compulsively touch himself.

At school, his classmates commented on the boy’s problem and some said he asked them to connect to the webcam for being observed.

They further said that his attraction to women was extreme; he was attracted to all kind of women, regardless of texture physics, color and age.

In his room a great amount of pornography was found, including photographs and videos of nude women that were saved on his PC.

 

Death from masturbating 42 times? How am I alive? Just too many questions unanswered here. What is the possible cause of death in this case? How does one masturbate until they die? Is this really possible? I can see if this kid was strangling himself or had heart problems, but I don’t know if this is plausible otherwise. And let’s get one thing out of the way. If jerking off is an addiction then ‘Hi my name is Dick and I am an addict.’ The kid is 16 years old! Of course he’s gonna spend his Friday night beating that shit up. I remember it like yesterday when I would run up to the computer and fire up the ol’ AOL dial-up modem. The entire house would know I was signing on because of how loud it was and half the time I would cut my mom’s phone calls off. There was nothing very discrete about it if you remember. At that age you’re looking for anyway possible to change up your method so when I hear 42 times, I think this kid hasn’t even made it out of the single A minor leagues yet.

 

Now I can’t help this kid out when it comes to the ‘being observed’ part of the story but hey, everyone’s got their own thing. But the other part that had me confused was when they said ‘he was attracted to all kinds of women, regardless of texture physics.’ I love that my man didn’t discriminate but can someone please explain to me what this means. Does this mean plastic blow up dolls and/or hairy chicks? Either way dude, go online and find one of the million websites out there. Who the fuck jerks off to naked photographs anymore?

Our Move of the Day Ends Crazy Drunk Man’s Fight

 

Ahhh the adventures of the A-train continue. Here is a perfect example of the difference between me and those who were born and raised in NYC. I see a crazy drunk guy with googly eyes licking blood of his arm and holding up a train of angry ghetto passengers, I step off and take my chances walking home from whatever stop I’m at. Don’t get me wrong, I will always stand up for myself when the time calls, but you gotta draw the line somewhere. These dudes act like they deal with this on a daily basis. The older guy actually takes on this asshole and knocks him down TWICE! That’s probably the point where I would jump in. It’s like blood in the water for me. I see this guy has a weakness and I jump in when it’s safe.

 

How frustrated would you be if this guy finally gets knocked down and the MTA guy keeps the door open? Even I was watching this going “close the door! Close the door!” But here is where the move of the day comes in. Like a scene from a Steven Seagal movie, one of the passengers grabs both handrails and gives a flying chest kick which Crazy Eyes Jamal wasn’t even expecting! Perfect execution to a perfect move in a crazy situation. Doors close, boom it’s a wrap! Like a gorilla at the zoo, he’s on the wrong side of the glass wondering how he got there. Chronicles of the A-train indeed!