6 Year Old Gets Ticket After Driving Toy Motorcycle Into SUV

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HuffPost:

CIUDAD JUAREZ, Mexico — Police in this border city repented Thursday over ticketing a 6-year-old boy for reckless driving, driving without a license and not having his vehicle registered after he drove his miniature motorcycle into an SUV. The boy’s mother, Karla Noriega, said police impounded the miniature gasoline-powered motorbike that her son got for Christmas after he crashed into an SUV on Dec. 27. Noriega decided to go to the media and make the case public after finding out she would have to pay what she called a “ridiculous” $183 in fines to recover the toy motorbike. City council Secretary Hector Arceluz said Thursday that authorities had dropped the fines, released the motorbike and would punish the police officers for having acted improperly. Noriega’s son Gael was happy to get his minibike back, but said it no longer works after the accident.

 

What? You think just cause you’re 6 you don’t have to abide by the rules? I woulda tested this kid for a DUI. Get him to walk a straight line and recite his ABCs without singing them. Oh, you don’t know your ABCs? We’re taking you downtown for a breathalyzer. That’ll teach him. What a great picture that would be. 6 year old in the back of a police car driving to the station with a toy motorcycle hanging out of the trunk. Poor kid is gonna have a rough time as it is growing up since his name is Gael so hopefully this toughens him up.

 

How Many Of You Would Throw Down On Black In This Situation?

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So I went to AC last weekend and 3 times there was a table that had a color that showed up at least 10 straight times. My personal rule is to stay away from those tables because I feel like it’s a sucker’s bet but my friends had other ideas. On this specific table, red popped up 2 more rolls before black appeared. Of course my friends had thrown $100 on black each roll and in about 2 minutes they were already down $400. Now betting like that right off the bat can make or break your night. You’re either doing bottle service at the club later or you’re testing out Newton’s law of gravity from the top of the casino. Well, I found my friend at 1am sleeping in the room so you know how his night went. As for me, I have a bad habit of being up and giving it all back throughout the night, then taking more money out of the ever-so-available ATMs they have sitting around with $6.00 service charges. But my question to everyone is what would you do if you saw these numbers on a roulette table?

Polish Military Prosecutor Shoots Himself In Face; Survives

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Buzzfeed:

Col. Mikolaj Przybyl was defending the country’s team of military prosecutors against leaks that suggested it mishandled investigations to protect a deeply corrupt military. The government has been considering merging the civilian and military prosecutors as a result.

No real sense of urgency over in Poland huh? Does shit like this happen every day? Did you not see everyone calmly get up and meander over to the guy who just tried to blow his head off? That whole area of countries over there scares the shit out of me. They just seem cold and emotionless. How much must it suck when you can’t even kill yourself the right way? If this guy’s life didn’t suck in the first place, he will now be eating through a straw and breathing through a tube for the rest of his life.

Woman’s Bungee Cord Snaps Over Crocodile Infested Water

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Buzzfeed:

Erin Laung Worth’s bungee cord snapped during her 350-foot jump over the Zambezi River in Africa. The Aussie tourist somehow survived the fall as well as the “croc-infested waters.”

Everyone always asks me ‘why don’t you live a little and do something like skydiving or bungee jumping.’ Well first off I’m horrified of heights but also sometimes when you skydive, the chute doesn’t open and sometimes when you bungee jump, the cord breaks after a 350 foot fall and you smack into crocodile infested water. Now luckily this chick survived somehow but you’ll never see me doing this. If I wanted to thrill seek I would go out to a bar in Harlem, get wasted, and try to find my way home walking. I like my odds better there.

Side Note: This video kind of reminded me of Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom

So I Know What I’m Doing This Spring/Summer With My New Wedding Crasher App

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Who doesn’t like a good wedding? Open bar, single women, free food…and now I have an app for my phone that will literally guide me there step by step. I think the best part about this is that the app even turned it into a game which keeps track of points so you can compare your wedding crashing skills against others. Got a seat at a front table? Bam 50 points. Taking pics with other wedding guests? Bam 75 points. Bang the Maid of Honor? Bam 1,000 points. But who the fuck am I kidding? If there were ever someone to get caught crashing a wedding it would be me. When it comes down to lying on the spot I clam up like an oyster and stand out like a Jew in Palestine. Boom, thrown out the front door like Uncle Phil always did to Jazz in Fresh Prince.

Side Note: How fuckin’ pissed would you be if you had a wedding coming up? I would have someone guarding that front door like it’s the White House

Yes, Unfortunately They Still Do The Pantless Subway Ride

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Got a text from MillerTime Saturday reminding me to document the ‘Pantless Subway Ride’ on Sunday. I said thanks for the reminder and said good call but there was absolutely no way I was going there. Not because the Giants were on TV winning the first ever playoff game in the new Giants Stadium, but because if you’ve ever seen the people who participate in this event you would stay home that day too. It’s rarely hot chicks wearing lingerie or sexy underwear. It’s always fat, ugly, hairy people who sprawl out on the subway trains and make you feel awkward as hell.

I also never understood how people could feel comfortable riding the trains like that in the first place. Put the cold weather aside for a second and think about all the disgusting things you’ve ever seen happen on the subway and these people only have a thin layer of cotton separating their bare skin from those surfaces. Some don’t even have that. The only thing I will thank them for is that they did it on a Sunday when the rest of America was watching football and I hope they all took bleach showers when they got home.

Gruesome Photos Of Man Scalped By Leopard In India (WARNING)

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HuffPost:

GAUHATI, India — A leopard that wandered into a city in eastern India went on a rampage, killing one man, swiping off part of another man’s scalp and injuring three other people before authorities tranquilized it. Neighbors in Gauhati say the leopard attacked a 50-year-old lawyer as he talked on his cellphone Saturday evening outside his house. He was rushed to a hospital where he died Sunday. Four other people were injured, including a man who had part of his scalp torn off in a dramatic attack captured by a local newspaper photographer. Gauhati wildlife official Utpal Bora says authorities plan to release the animal at a wildlife park 120 miles (200 kilometers) west of the city. Conservationists say deforestation is increasingly pushing leopards into populated areas.

That just sucks. One minute you’re just minding your own business having a nice little Sunday and the next you’re running from an over sized cat with your scalp flapping in the wind. And just your luck, there’s a photographer from the local newspaper there to take pictures of everything going down. Always interesting to see how different countries handle situations like these because they tranquilized this thing and released it back into the wild. Pretty sure that if that happened in America it would have been shot, tased, and blown up on spot. Just sayin’.

Rat The Size Of A Small Dog Found In NY Foot Locker

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HuffPost:

“There’s no way it’s a common sewer rat,” Dr. Robert S. Voss, the Curator of Mammals at The American Museum of Natural History in New York, told HuffPost after reviewing the picture. “I’m 90 percent certain that it’s a a Gambian pouched rat.” Voss estimated the rat to be about two-and-a-half feet in length. Another huge Gambian pouched rat made headlines last year when it was killed in Brooklyn’s Marcy houses. Voss said it’s possible this rat was once a pet that could have escaped or been released. Gambian pouched rats were once imported to the United States for sale as pets, but abc.net.au reports that an outbreak of monkeypox in the early 2000s caused the importation of African rodents to be banned. Despite its size, Voss said the rat is harmless and docile, so there’s no need to be worried if you encounter one. He did, however, recommend walking away and calling animal control immediately. An employee at the Foot Locker on Fordham Road in The Bronx who was asked about the image said he was not authorized to speak on the matter. Another representative from Foot Locker’s corporate offices told HuffPost she was not familiar with the image but said she would be looking into it.

Jesus Christ! Either Splinter from TMNT really exists or NYC has it’s first confirmed chupacabra. Two and a half feet?! How is this guy even holding this thing with one hand? I don’t care how docile or innocent this fuckin thing is, if I came across it I would shit and/or piss my pants. And the thought of someone having this as a pet is even more disturbing. No wonder they let it go, it’s equivalent to having a roommate in your apartment. Probably eating everything in site and hogging all the couch space. I hope I never see something like this again…!

Green Bay Must Be Shitting Themselves Right Now

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The defense pitched a shutout, two huge 4th down stops, Hakeem Nicks dirty birding all over the place, Eli showing why he’s a top QB in the NFL, Jacobs running people over like a MAC truck. I mean if you’re the Packers you have to be scared as all fuck right now, right? The Giants already showed that they can keep up with the Pack and go into Green Bay peaking on all cylinders. I hope Tom Coughlin’s face doesn’t freeze off again cause it’s gonna be a cold one! On to Wisconsin!

By the way, my cousin gave up his ticket to the game and this was him from 1:00 to 4:00 on playoff Sunday. One late Saturday night and the kid can’t hang. Unbelievable.