Tag: subway

MTA To Run 1920 Subway Trains This Month

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Adweek:

Pretty awesome: HBO has partnered with New York’s MTA to put an actual 1920s subway train back in service on the 2/3 line during weekends in September to promote Boardwalk Empire, the Prohibition-era drama whose second season premieres Sept. 25. The train was originally used for the IRT system, and began service in 1917, reports the Village Voice. It will be making short runs on the express track between 42nd and 96th Street between noon and 6 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays this month. The cars will feature authentic details such as rattan seats, ceiling fans, and drop sash windows—as well as some inauthentic details like a shitload of Boardwalk Empire ads.

 

So Apparently the MTA has never been to CitySubwayCreatures or else they would see the shit that goes on on these trains. I love the idea but not when I think about the bums that are going to stank those cushioned seats up or the subway performers who are going to flip kick those ceiling fans off or the graffiti that will make these cars look like the 1990s again. I remember a time when a poster on the subway would be sufficient in advertising for a show, movie, or product. Bringing these trains in will be fun, but not for all. Destroying nice things is what New Yorkers are great at. Here is what the before and after photos could look like by Oct. 1:

 

Before:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After:

 

Our Move of the Day Ends Crazy Drunk Man’s Fight

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Ahhh the adventures of the A-train continue. Here is a perfect example of the difference between me and those who were born and raised in NYC. I see a crazy drunk guy with googly eyes licking blood of his arm and holding up a train of angry ghetto passengers, I step off and take my chances walking home from whatever stop I’m at. Don’t get me wrong, I will always stand up for myself when the time calls, but you gotta draw the line somewhere. These dudes act like they deal with this on a daily basis. The older guy actually takes on this asshole and knocks him down TWICE! That’s probably the point where I would jump in. It’s like blood in the water for me. I see this guy has a weakness and I jump in when it’s safe.

 

How frustrated would you be if this guy finally gets knocked down and the MTA guy keeps the door open? Even I was watching this going “close the door! Close the door!” But here is where the move of the day comes in. Like a scene from a Steven Seagal movie, one of the passengers grabs both handrails and gives a flying chest kick which Crazy Eyes Jamal wasn’t even expecting! Perfect execution to a perfect move in a crazy situation. Doors close, boom it’s a wrap! Like a gorilla at the zoo, he’s on the wrong side of the glass wondering how he got there. Chronicles of the A-train indeed!

Virtual Subway Grocery Shopping Coming?

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Virtual subway grocery shopping? Rell rould you rook at that! Why are the Asians always so damn more advanced than us! We import everything from them and their technology is always 10 years ahead of us, partly why our economy is in the shits. Right off the bat I can tell you that this new technology will have zero effect on me since I still use a Zack Morris phone from 1989 with no internet. Here’s the thing South Korea must not have in common with us New Yorkers. We have just as many bums in our subways than actual commuters. Installing this on every platform is like throwing chum in the ocean during a shark feeding frenzy. I can just picture ‘one eyed Ray’ from the A-train licking the fruit section of these virtual boards like it was the “Lickable Wallpaper” in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Or Stinky Steve from the 6-train jerkin off to the fresh cut steaks in the meat section. Just hobos coming from everywhere to drool over these products that they will never actually see in real life. Not the most desirable situation for strap hangers who are just trying to order dinner for their family that night. I’ll tell you who I will give money or food to though. These guys:

 

Is This Drunk Chick On The 7 Train Onto Something?

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It’s Halloween night and damn Britney Spears is fucked up! Actually no matter what night it is, if it’s 4am on the 7 train you’re bound to see this. I give this chick a lot of credit, however. It’s almost like she knows exactly how far to fall without touching the guy sitting next to her. And what the hell do you think she’s dreaming of? My guess is she watched Jersey Shore before she went out and can’t get that picture of Situation ramming his own head into a concrete wall. She’s got the perfect form for it. Either that or the SNL skit of Will Ferrell giving himself a hummer in yoga class.

 

All of the above are acceptable answers but I think she might be on to something here. Imagine how ripped this chicks abs are going to be! She’s just created a two minute ab workout and I’d buy two minute abs way before I’d buy 8 minute abs plus I get to be black out drunk when I do it. Sure, the repercussions suck (miss my stop, robbed, raped, blah, blah, blah) but I’ll still wake up with a chiseled 6-pack without knowingly doing anything.

 

Side note: Has anyone actually tried to do the Will Ferrell move? I mean, I haven’t of course, I’m just wondering…

Who is this Guy?!

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So there’s a new documentary on HBO called SUPERHEROES about morons who literally dress up and “protect” the streets of the cities they live in. Just like Jersey Shore, I couldn’t stop watching it even though it was the most ridiculous shit to ever take place in America (I say that loosely). Literally, gay crime fighters walking the streets like hookers on a Saturday night trying to bait people into rape, skateboarding at 4 am in Brooklyn, etc. etc. All the while local police laughing at them in their face. I must say though, my favorite by far was Master Legend:

 

ML drinks on the job, hits on chicks at bars, and carries an ice cube launcher. Not only does he NEED his own show, but I want to know how he has time to save the world in between crushing all the local pussy in downtown Orlando, FL. I don’t mean to get so side tracked but there’s a point to this. Master Legend must have been on vacation in Spain and saved this dude’s life on the tracks cause look at how calm and cool that guy is. Drunk dude knocked out on tracks? I got this. Train coming? Don’t rush me. Get the guy to safety? Done and done. I know I always say this but it seriously looks like a clip from a Hollywood movie. And if you ever come across Master Legend, he probably just saved your life and you didn’t even know it.

Flood in the NYC Subway!

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So I was taking the 1 train this morning down by South Ferry and all of the sudden the NY Harbor began pouring in one of the entrances! Fire was spitting out of gas lines, an oil tanker fell down from the street above, and electric wires were flying everywhere. Thankfully the train pulled out just in time as if Ron Jeremy was working the controls. Shockingly, this is just footage of the earthquake ride at Universal Studios in Florida but pretty much what I was expecting over the weekend as I think mostly everyone else was. Once again NYC dodged a bullet as if some kind of force field bubbles over it. How did every surrounding city and town get blasted as bad as they did and I wake up Sunday afternoon with power, zero flooding, and the sun out? Something about New York City I tell ya.

I stayed up until 5:30am Sunday morning waiting for something crazy to happen and even then, the reporters were saying the worst is yet to come. Nothing other than a couple fallen trees. An earthquake and tropical storm in the same week? This video is what NY definitely should have looked like! Since we keep getting tested by Mother Nature, I’m sitting here writing and wondering what’s next? Tornadoes? An end of the summer blizzard? Alien attack?

Side note: Not sure if anyone saw the Bloomberg press conference, but him trying to speak Spanish is as awkward as my Irish ass trying to read the Torah out loud.

 

NYC Subway Service Update

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http://www.mta.info/

New York City Subway

With limited exceptions, service will resume across the subway system at 6:00 a.m. Monday morning. Service will be less frequent than normal, and customers should expect longer waits and more crowded trains. Frequency of service will improve over the course of the day. Specifically:

  • 3 trains will operate between 137th Street/City College and New Lots Avenue; Substitute bus service will be provided between Harlem 148th Street and 135th Street connecting with the 2 train.
  • C trains suspended; A trains will make all local stops from 207th St. to Lefferts Blvd.​
    • No service in the Rockaways. (Rockaway Blvd. to Far Rockaway and Rockaway Park)
  • 6 trains runs local in the Bronx
  • 7 trains run local
  • S Franklin Avenue Shuttle (FAS) Suspended
  • N trains terminate at Kings Highway. Shuttle bus service between Kings Highway and Stillwell Terminal.

The Staten Island Railway will resume normal service at midnight tonight.

Long Island Rail Road

Trees are blocking tracks and flooding has been reported in several areas. Crews were dispatched to assess the damage and make repairs. Crews are also in the process of reinstalling hundreds of gates at crossings.

 

 

Metro-North Railroad

Metro-North is experiencing major flooding at numerous locations on all lines and a mudslide on the Hudson Line at Spuyten Duyvil.  The National Weather Service has extended Flood Warnings for Putnam, Rockland, Westchester, and Southeastern CT counties until midnight Monday, which will impact the ability of crews to make necessary repairs. There are multiple instances of power outages and trees tangled in overhead catenary wires. There are several sections of track in various locations damaged by mudslides and washouts and significant flooding at stations. Crews are on hand throughout the system restoring infrastructure as conditions allow.