So Did Anyone Else Catch That Bullshit Failed Assassination Attempt In Bulgaria Last Night?

SkyNews: The 25-year-old who pulled the gun on the head of Bulgaria’s Turkish minority party leader while he was speaking at a party conference was only trying to frighten his target. Police have revealed that Oktay Enimehmedov, an ethnic Turk originally from the eastern city of Burgas, thought he would die in the attack and left a letter at his Sofia flat. Police psychology institute chief Nedelcho Stoychev said the attacker did not intend to kill Dogan but only to frighten him and “get his five minutes of fame.” Ahmed Dogan, swiped away his attacker’s arm before any shot was fired and the weapon appeared to jam. Dramatic video of the attack against the 58-year-old leader of the liberal Movement for Rights and Freedoms party quickly circulated online. Several men wrestled Enimehmedov to the ground and he is seen in the footage being punched and kicked. Police experts examined the small handgun and said it would not have threatened Dogan’s life, even if fired from close quarters. Gas pistols are mainly used for self-defence and can fire tear gas cartridges. Prosecutors in Sofia have charged Enimehmedov with hooliganism and making death threats. Deputy chief prosecutor Borislav Sarafov said he faces up to five years in prison on the hooliganism charge and up to six years in prison on the death threat charge.

 

When I saw this last night I was thinking this is a scene straight out of a movie. Manchurian Candidate who fucks up the assassination and then the Bulgarian government has to cover it up and there’s a massive publicity that hinders the cover up. But no. Ho hum, just another asshole trying to get his 5 minutes in the limelight. Officials said the gun wouldn’t have even killed the guy. What’s that shit all about? Pretty sure a BB gun could still do damage if pressed up against someone’s temple. The best part was clearly the guy getting kicked around the stage like an empty can on the street. Then there was a lot of dirka dirka yelling and it was all over. Thanks Bulgaria, I have no idea where you are on a map.

Here’s An Old Gem For Your Tuesday Morning [Warning: Very Gross]

 

I was literally gagging while watching this and have no idea how that kid getting puked on is able to sit there and take a beating like this. Somewhere around 90 shots of eggnog and the big boy opened up like a fire hydrant. I’ve never heard of “baby birding” and not sure who would ever be into that kind of thing but then again I’ve seen worse.

The New Vaportini Allows You To Inhale Alcohol Vapors And Get Wrecked

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Vaportini.com: The Vaportini is legal to sell in all states for any establishment with a “Consumption on Premise” license. The alcohol consumed through a Vaportini will be detected by a blood alcohol test. Because of the revolutionary nature of the Vaportini’s approach to the consumption of alcohol, it can be intimidating. However, it is simple, natural and enjoyable. About 5 minutes after the vessel containing the spirits is placed on the base, it is ready to consume. The recommended amount of spirits is 1 ounce. One inhales through the straw and holds their breathe for a moment and then exhales. That’s it. The effects are felt immediately because the alcohol is going directly through the bloodstream. Most people experience a relaxed and mellow feeling. Depending on how aggressively a Vaportini is consumed, it is still “active” for 20-40 minutes. There will be liquid left in the vessel after the Vaportini is exhausted, but that is merely the water in the liquor.  The effects don’t last as long as traditional consumption, but that can certainly be a positive aspect.

 

Well I’m sure the women over at MADD are pumped about this one. How long do you think it will take before a couple of college kids create a 6 foot Vaportini and everyone at the party looks like Jonestown shortly after? Don’t get me wrong, I want one of these just to say I have one but the fact that you can take 5 rips of this thing and be drunker than this chick, means this thing is trouble city.  I mean if you got kids ramming vodka covered tampons up their ass along with beer funnels, what kind of damage do you think they will do with one of these when all you have to do is inhale some grain alcohol vapor???

I Absolutely Despise Subway Entertainers But This Guy Would Get My Money

 

Anyone who is from NYC knows that he absolutely NAILED that subway voice! I really believed him when he said he was the original voice and got fired even though it’s bullshit. 99% of the time I can’t stand these guys and want to pay them just to shut up and get off my train but this guy seems legit.

Side note: Lady sitting down was cracking up the whole time and talking about how good this dude was. When he finished she didn’t even budge for loose change. Typical.

FACT: Man Dies In NYC Subway After Falling Between Cars While Shitting

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Gawker: This is a weird one. A man was killed Tuesday afternoon after he fell from a moving subway train onto the tracks. But how did he fall, you ask? He was shitting between cars, as one does, when he apparently slipped, plunging to one of the more shameful deaths imaginable. Tragic and terrifying, although perhaps less so – if only because of the pooping — than two other recent subway deaths. Making things somewhat confusing, there was apparently a separate incident at the same subway station just before the fatal accident. According to the NYPD, a bloody man with a broken pelvis and “severe buttocks injuries” was found on the opposite platform after he mysteriously emerged from the tracks. The man, who police identified as Manuce Dulcio, didn’t know how he got there or what had happened to him, although police noted he was very drunk. Police initially said the two men had been fighting, although that turned out to be false. Instead, it was just your standard death-by-pooping/mysterious-drunken-injury incident, which is all too common these days.

 

Shitting between subway cars, huh? Kind of ironic that this guy had too much pride to do what all the other hobos do and shit his pants IN the subway car, yet dies covered in shit with his pants around his ankles. Yea he put a lot on the line, like his life, but sometimes a man’s dignity outweighs all consequence. Dude was probably reading about Carmelo Anthony and Honey Nut Cheerio-gate in AM New York when the 6 train took a sudden turn for the worst. Speaking of nuts, the fact that this is the 4th insane death in the subway in less than 30 days makes me feel like I should start rollerblading to work. Yea right, rollerblades are gay!

Side note: FYI – I seriously own a pair of rollerblades

Pantless Subway Rider Sluts It Up All Over Union Square [NSFW]

 

Look up the definition of “hood rat or “ratchet” and you will see a chick with tattoos up and down her legs, grinding all over a subway railing and literally getting a public colonoscopy while dollar bills rain down on her. Somewhere in America there’s a father who just watched this slumped over with a single gunshot wound to the head. The only positive thing I can say about this is that thank Christ this wasn’t at Puerto Rican Day Parade or else we’d be having a completely different conversation.