Man With One Arm Fights Man With Two Arms…Who You Got?

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I have all the respect in the world for MMA fighters. Simply out of their fucking minds to take the kinds of beatings they do for a living and at the end of the day, some are just getting by financially. But I mean you HAVE to call it quits when you lose to a dude with one arm, right? I mean, this is what you do for a living and you just went night-night to a guy who has a total disadvantage. I’m not trying to act like I know everything about the sport but when a guy is missing half his left arm, doesn’t that mean he can’t protect that side of his head? Don’t you throw right hooks all day long?

NYPD Officer Body Slams Turnstile Jumper In Subway

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Apparently, this kid was caught jumping the turnstile in Brooklyn and when frisked by a police officer, he made a sudden move that made the cop suplex him. I’m not saying whether or not it was excessive force but the kid and the bystanders definitely found NYPD’s kryptonite…Spanish.
Whole story http://elitedaily.com/elite/2012/nyc-cop-body-slams-teen-paying-subway-fare-video/

This Pathetic Asshole Just Made My Day!

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You know what? I ain’t even mad at this kid. Honestly, what does he have to lose throwing all this shit out there? Clearly he can only go up from where he is now. What’s the worst that can happen? He finds another creepy dude pretending to be a hot chick who then comes to his house and tortures and kills him? I’m sure that’s more excitement then he’ll see in an entire year.

Now, you want a tall, modelish, tan, chick with not one pimple. Welcome to the club brotha. I’ve been saying that since my first boner. And as far as the vampire thing goes, I got good news and bad news. Vampires seem to be in right now with girls your age. Bad part is that they will be expecting you to look like the actual characters from Twilight. I respect the confidence and drive but I have a feeling you’re gonna get stuck sexting with the gay, atheist ‘herma-daffa-dite’.

And Today’s Caption Contest Winner Is…

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Chris C. “you can look but you can not touch”

 

I know this week was kind of a difficult one but I need everyone to step their game up next week! To get in on the caption contest just “LIKE” the CitySubwayCreatures page on Facebook and every Thursday we will post the day’s caption contest. Thanks to everyone who participated and good luck next week!

https://www.facebook.com/CitySubwayCreatures

Ryan Lochte Is Dumb As Fuck…And That Is Pretty Fuckin Dumb!

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I hate everything Ryan Lochte represents other than the USA. The guy defines the word ‘tool’ and this has been a big week for him. I’m not talking about him swimming. I’m talking about his mother coming out telling the world her son only does one-night stands, his ‘cool’ mouth piece, and his overall arrogance. The guy resembles a dumber Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High if that’s even possible and I can’t do anything but cringe when he’s interviewed. If this dude couldn’t swim I’m 99% sure he’d be a cum dumpster behind In-N-Out. In fact, I hope he makes the best of his 15 minutes because after the Olympics he’ll do some reality show, fizzle out, and Ryan Lochte will be the guy you call up to plunge your toilet. Again, I hate him.

There’s No Possible Way Anyone Loves Trains More Than This Guy

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Saw this going viral real quick so thought I’d throw it up. The disturbing part of all this is that you can literally hear this guy jizz his pants over Thomas the Tank Engine. If my toes curl and I get goosebumps over a train blasting it’s horn, you have every right to push me in front of it.

Ever Watch A Concert From An Alcohol Loaded Blimp? Want To?

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Craigslist: We rented a blimp for the show, holds 10 people and pilot, we got 7, 3 backed out, $300 per person. Blimp loads at 6pm in Jersey City near Pavonia. Will hover at 1000-1500 feet for duration of show. Loaded with a keg and munchies. Pilot will not be drinking of course. The windows open and will be the best seats in the house. Please note this blimp doesn’t have a bathroom. If you’re going to drink a lot you’ll have to use the “pilots hole” in the back. Pretty cool actually, take a pee right in the river. If you’re a chick you definitely don’t want to drink. Need 3 people, this is a serious post, picture of docked blimp in JC shown below. eMail if interested.

 

Buddy of mine just passed this on to me and apparently it’s a serious Craigslist ad to ride in a blimp just above the Mumford and Sons concert on the Hudson in NJ. Now I don’t know what the FAA regulations are for this type of shit so obviously I had my doubts. But then I thought about it, how many people can say they got fucked up in a blimp right above a huge concert? Fuck it if you can’t actually hear the music. You got a keg and an iPod dock that can blast whatever music you want to listen to. Three seats left…who’s in?

Side note: If you’re going to the concert dress for rain cause it sounds like this huge balloon will be dumping a lot of piss/puke on people down below.

-Thanks to Shumko for this!