"People watch from the safety of your phone"
If you’ve ever ridden the NYC subway then you understand how on point this clip is. The homeless lady with the sob story asking for anything you might have, the young kid trying to sell the stale, expired fruit snacks, and the goddamn 4-5 piece mariachi band that insists on playing at the crack of dawn in the rush hour commute. Just a matter of time before the Wall St. guy, the 2nd mortgage family, and circus midgets roam the subway asking for dead presidents.
-Thanks to Fizz for this
Gawker: This is a weird one. A man was killed Tuesday afternoon after he fell from a moving subway train onto the tracks. But how did he fall, you ask? He was shitting between cars, as one does, when he apparently slipped, plunging to one of the more shameful deaths imaginable. Tragic and terrifying, although perhaps less so – if only because of the pooping — than two other recent subway deaths. Making things somewhat confusing, there was apparently a separate incident at the same subway station just before the fatal accident. According to the NYPD, a bloody man with a broken pelvis and “severe buttocks injuries” was found on the opposite platform after he mysteriously emerged from the tracks. The man, who police identified as Manuce Dulcio, didn’t know how he got there or what had happened to him, although police noted he was very drunk. Police initially said the two men had been fighting, although that turned out to be false. Instead, it was just your standard death-by-pooping/mysterious-drunken-injury incident, which is all too common these days.
Shitting between subway cars, huh? Kind of ironic that this guy had too much pride to do what all the other hobos do and shit his pants IN the subway car, yet dies covered in shit with his pants around his ankles. Yea he put a lot on the line, like his life, but sometimes a man’s dignity outweighs all consequence. Dude was probably reading about Carmelo Anthony and Honey Nut Cheerio-gate in AM New York when the 6 train took a sudden turn for the worst. Speaking of nuts, the fact that this is the 4th insane death in the subway in less than 30 days makes me feel like I should start rollerblading to work. Yea right, rollerblades are gay!
Side note: FYI – I seriously own a pair of rollerblades
Go to 2:10 for the good part
It’s been a crazy couple days down in the NYC subway. But it has to be absolutely terrifying to be on this train when Yokozuna is bull rushing through a crowd of people wielding a Bic in everyone’s face. And you gotta love the woman who tries to talk sense into this crazy like ‘don’t you have kids?’ You think that’s what was running through her head when she was searching through her bag for a shank and the best thing she could find was a pen? This is the 6 train during rush hour. Nope, no kids! Now bring that bitch front and center so I can fillet her like a fish!
Gawker: A freelance photographer working for the New York Post on an unrelated assignment happened to be standing on the 49th Street station platform when 58-year-old Queens resident Ki Suk Han was suddenly pushed onto the tracks by an as-yet-unidentified assailant. The photographer, R. Umar Abbasi, snapped at least two photos of Han before he was run over by the downtown Q train. The married father-of-one sustained critical injuries and was later pronounced dead at Roosevelt Hospital. One of the haunting photos Abbasi took graces the front page of the Post this morning, incurring the ire of readers who want to know why no help was extended to the injured Han in lieu of capturing the moment for posterity. Abbasi claims that he was using his camera’s flash to warn the train’s conductor, possibly suggesting that the photos were incidental. The Post further defends Abbasi, saying he wasn’t strong enough to lift Han off the tracks.
Here is the fight moments before the accident:
Nothing like waking up and grabbing a paper to see Glenn from The Walking Dead about to get lit up by an incoming Q train. I have a feeling that Umar Abbasi was trying to alert the conductor as much as the 9/11 terrorists were trying to safely land those planes, but that’s just me. Gotta love New Yorkers though, right? Guy falls onto the tracks and everyone pulls out their iPhones to snap pictures like Asians in Times Square. Ki Suk Han may not have been saved but at least there will be enough pictures to create a flip book of the entire incident. And I don’t know what the pre-push argument was over, but no one deserves to be pushed onto the subway tracks…with a train coming…at 25 MPH…weighing a cajillion tons.
Well, that Escalade-d quickly. Get it? See what I did there? Ah man, it’s been a long weekend but definitely longer for this guy who became part of a NYC street Friday night. Kind of hard to follow what’s going on in the whole melee but to drive up on the sidewalk and ruin your expensive Cadillac truck, then run someone over is bat shit crazy.
WARNING: TURN DOWN VOLUME!
When you troll as hard as this sidewalk sleeper, I would consider getting knocked out a moral victory. If that’s the least that happened to him screaming the N word in a black guy’s face on the subway in Queens, then he should count his blessings. He’ll still wake up homeless but he’ll still be alive. On second thought maybe a quick death was what he was going for.
Irina Shayk helping us get over the hump! Happy Hump Day!
Two of the most probable people you’ll see in Times Square; photo snapping tourists and annoying smelly bums. Bum probably asked the tourist for money, tourist asked for respect, next thing you know they’re breaking crutches over each other. Classic Times Square.
You’ve hit a new low when you’re groping large women in the subway, get caught by other passengers, and receive an ovation when the police scoop you off the platform. This happens often in the subway and I’m not sure how people actually get away with it.
Side note: I was dying when the lady at the 2:12 mark checks to see if Rico’s greasy hair is real. Hater.
Why isn’t anyone doing anything? Um, cause the dude is drunk, sitting in a puddle of water, on train tracks, with his head propped up on the third rail. But by all means go down there and lend a brotha a hand.
Side note: Not sure of the outcome of this but when your head resembles a marshmallow at a camp fire, it can’t be good.
SubwayCreatures 