Sometimes In Life A Milkshake Hits You In The Face From A Passing Train

 

Sometimes this is just how life goes. You’re late for work, you don’t want to be in the subway in the first place, and next thing you know a fuckin’ milkshake slaps you upside your head from a passing train. Although I’m calling internet bullshit because why was this dude filming in the perfect spot while a random train passes in the first place? He’s either in on it or this was setup from the beginning. Damn you Jimmy Kimmel!

 

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This Drunk Guy Falling On The Tracks Is Lucky To Be Alive

 

This is why I always cab it when I’m drunk. I just wanna get home to my bed and not have to worry about pissing in the subway or falling onto the tracks. Dude is lucky a train wasn’t coming and that people were around to throw his ass back onto the platform.

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And how about this guy jumping over the third rail 4 times?! I think he’s more lucky to be alive than the guy who fell.

Girl On Girl Action On An Australian Train [NSFW]

 

Looks like it’s just one of those days where if you’re a female you absolutely hate CSC–or love it, I dunno. Nothing really discreet about this and performing oral on a chick in public is one of the hardest tasks to hide. Trust me I know. Nope, no I don’t. But I know this guy, and him and her got it on whoooooooeeeeeee! Nope. They were arrested for public intoxication and indecent exposure.

Passenger Train Comes Face To Face With Freighter Train On Same Track

DailyMail: The terrifying moment in which a head-on collision between a passenger train and a freighter was only narrowly avoided, has been captured on camera, preserving the memory of the lucky escape forever for those involved. The spine-tingling incident occurred in Ontario, Canada where a full speed VIA train carrying commuters between Ottawa, Montreal and Toronto, met a stationary freight train in its path. Footage captured by a nearby spectator, shows the engineer of the passenger train jumping out of the locomotive cab in a bid to save his own life before the inevitable crash.

 

Don’t train conductors have the same ‘going down with the boat’ policy as ship captains? Guess not. Bailing on the train when you’re responsible for all those people in the back seems like a pretty pussy way to handle this situation but when you’re going nose to nose with a freighter train then it might be another story so I dunno. Could make for a good ‘Would You Rather’ on Thursday…

 

Man Is Saved Last Second After Trying To Jump In Front Of Train By Colombian Cop

 

Is this as big of a problem everywhere else than it is in NYC? Every other week I feel like someone is flinging themselves on the subway tracks here. Out of all the ways you could kill yourself why would you jump in front of a train pulling into a station? The trains aren’t moving at top speed and there’s a chance it won’t even kill you. I would be so pissed if I was trying to kill myself and just got my legs steamrolled. If things were bad enough before, NOW you have even more reason to kill yourself. Here are my top 5 worst ways of offing yourself:

5) Jumping off a building – I’m terrified of heights as it is and the fact that I could accidentally land on someone on the ground is pretty unfair of me.

4) Cutting down the river – I have no problem with the sight of blood but slitting my wrists kinda seems painful and the fact that I have to sit there and watch myself bleed out sounds boring.

3) Jumping in front of a train – See above.

2) Setting yourself on fire – Why would anyone want to torture themselves like this? You literally live most of the time you’re burning and going through the worst pain ever.

1) Diving in a wood chipper – I know this sounds crazy but I heard a story a little while back of a guy who took his wallet out of his pocket and nose dived into one of these bad boys. I only hope it was a quick death for his sake.

 

Crazy Guy Runs From Cops Right In Front Of On Coming Train

WFMZ: New video has surfaced of a Berks County man fleeing police and jumping into the path of a moving train. The cell phone video was captured by a 69 News viewer and details exactly what happened on the train tracks late Friday night in Spring Township. According to police, the man in the video is Nevin Walls, and he was fleeing from a uniformed officer. Just before midnight Friday, police were called after Walls, 31, wearing only boxer shorts, was acting disorderly in the 2200 block of Penn Avenue. Walls ran into the parking lot at the Redner’s Quick Shoppe and started screaming and yelling, police said. Then, he got into a car with a woman and child and demanded she drive away, said police. When an officer attempted to get in the vehicle, Walls ran up the embankment, raised his hands and jumped toward the approaching train, said police. “Anybody that knows him knows he wasn’t in a right mental state,” said Shaine Pachilis, who has been friends with Walls for more than 15 years. Pachilis claims Walls suffers from severe mental problems. Remarkably, he did survive. He was found lying between the rails and taken to Reading Hospital. According to Pachilis, he’s since been transferred to the University of Penn in Philadelphia.

 

Well that turned into an easy arrest. There’s gotta be nothing scarier than being a cop and getting the call that a crazy is running around the 7-11 parking lot in his boxers. You could literally see that cop stalling for time when Looney Toons tried to carjack that woman and her baby. Now, getting run over by a locomotive has to be one of the worst ways to go out because there’s always the chance you could just get your legs run over and survive through the pain. Sure enough that’s what sounds like happened here. The crazy lives to see another day.