Category: Awesome

Brian McKnight Must Kill It In The Sex Category

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Wow, nothing like a quiet, romantic night with lit candles, a bottle of wine and Brian McKnight singing about pussies squirting in the background. You know what, if this is how he lays it out there for women, I ain’t gonna hate. More power to him. All I know is if I drop that line I don’t think the reply would be “Oh my God, I thought you’d never ask!”

There must be something about the way R&B singers sing that makes it OK to say whatever the fuck they want and it’s almost like women don’t hear what they are actually saying. Almost like some kind of sex spell they add to their songs that hypnotizes chicks. ‘Let me show you how your pussy works, bet ya didn’t know that it could squirt’ and all they hear is ‘I just wanna take you shopping and buy you nice things.’ Crazy shit how this world works sometimes.

Check Out This Revolutionary RC Helicopter Machine Gun

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Welp, clearly this guy has never seen RoboCop. Just a matter of time before that thing goes haywire and turns on him. Oh, and since when does Russia have technology? I deal with footage from them on a regular basis that looks like it was shot on cameras from 1981. Guess they put the majority of their budget towards other things…like iPad flying machine guns.

‘The Drunk Guys Who Stole The Penguin’ Is The Greatest Story I Heard All Weekend

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A night that will go down in history for these Aussies. Imagine waking up the next morning soaking wet cause you went for a dip with the dolphins, there’s a goddamn penguin in your living room, and video evidence to confirm all of this? Maybe throw in a funny Asian and guest celebrity boxer and it would make a great movie.

Kid Trips Across Finish Line, Proceeds To Worm

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Props to this kid for having such a disastrous fall, only to go with the flow and start worming across the finish line. Kid should win for style points alone. “Oh my God, Christian is so funny!” If it he didn’t land right on his dick, I’d say he was gettin’ laid right after this event.

 

Side note: Was this the Special Games or does it just look like these kids are running in slow motion?