Kim Kardashian Thought She Miscarried; Told To Stay Out Of The Gym…Uh Oh

DailyMail:  A source told the New York Post: ‘Kim started feeling ill on the plane from Paris, and called friends as soon as she landed. ‘She was rushed to her doctor Tuesday night in tears. She thought she was having a miscarriage.’ Kim is then thought to have been discharged from the doctors at around 12.30am on Wednesday morning, after the doctor reassured her that both she and her baby were fine. However, Kim’s physician is said to have told the reality star to have slowed down with the amount of exercise she is doing. Alongside celebrity favorite trainer Tracy Anderson, Kim is believed to be working out seven days a week in a bid to keep the pregnancy weight gain under control. The source added: ‘Kim’s not respecting her pregnancy. She’s running around, working out seven days a week. ‘She’s working with two different trainers to control her weight, including Tracy Anderson and a pregnancy trainer.’ Kim previously said that while she has been working out to maintain her daily exercise regime, she knows she is going to pile on the pounds during her pregnancy. While discussing her pregnancy weight, Kim told Cosmopolitan magazine earlier this month: ”I’ll definitely be up there.’ And Kim is already struggling to accept her growing curves, with reports that her bra size has increased by four cup sizes since she fell pregnant. A source told Britain’s Heat magazine: ‘Kim loves her curves, but she’s upset that nothing in her wardrobe fits her any more.’ Kim and Kanye’s baby was conceived during a surprise trip to Italy in October.

 

God I love this. Not the miscarriage thing cause I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone other than maybe Casey Anthony but the fact that Kim is turning into a Thanksgiving Day float and she knows it! What’s the bigger challenge here, Kim keeping the weight off or keeping Kanye faithful? This dude must come home, walk into his bedroom and just go COT-DAMN! We all know that they will be the worst parents ever since I’m still not entirely sure whose ego is bigger but watching them go through these “hard times” is entertaining to say the least. I guess this explains why Kanye goes on stage, screams into the mic, and then spikes it off the ground. He’s having a baby with an Orca.

 

 

What’s Up With This New Book? Is This Black People’s ’50 Shades’?

 

So after doing extensive research on this (Googling “How To Be Black” and reading the first sentence that popped up in results) I found out that this is some comedic book written by a black guy about how to fit in as a black person in the work place and social world. Examples include how to socialize at happy hour with your white colleagues or how to be a good black friend to your white friends. Sounds funny but regardless, I think it’s hilarious seeing black people reading this on the subway, especially when you have no idea what the book is about.

Then I got to thinking…would it be racist if all of the sudden there was a book written by a white guy teaching white people how to fit in with black people? Like if you’re walking down the street in Harlem you need to walk REALLY slow down the sidewalk and talk as loud as you can to the person next you. Or if your kid is acting up on the subway, slap the little fucker upside their head and slam them into an open seat. Would this fly or would CSC have Al Sharpton at it’s front door calling for a complete site shutdown? Maybe time will tell…

 

The Senators/Maple Leafs Game Last Night Involved A KO 26 Seconds In

 

This is why I watch hockey! 26 seconds into the game and already a fight and a KO. Only other sports you’ll see that in are boxing, MMA, and the occasional Pistons/Pacers game. But only in hockey do the refs clear everything out of the way so there are no obstructions and let the fight go until one man has jelly legs (or they tire out and stop). For those of you who say it’s a boring sport and you can’t get into it, just go watch a game (that doesn’t involve the Islanders) and I bet you’ll change your mind.

The Sinkhole That Swallowed A Man In Florida Got Filled In Today With Him Still In It

 

So as I’ve said before, sinkholes must be one of the scariest natural disasters out there. One minute you’re sleeping in your bed and the next the ground opens up under you and you’re free falling 60 feet into a black hole with your house coming down on top of you. They couldn’t even recover this guy’s body because it was too dangerous to find. Just fill in the hole with crushed rock, level his house, and throw a tombstone over it. So supposedly now Florida is in sinkhole season? This is a thing? Like more of these are to come?? Between constant sinkholes, tornadoes, hurricanes, and old people–what is the appeal of this place?

 

 

Chinese Man Sends Girl Bottle Of His Semen, She Unknowingly Applies It To Her Face

100512-health-skin-bleaching-cream-lotion-face-beauty

EliteDaily: A Chinese student was so eager to profess his love for a woman that he bottled up his sperm and sent it to her. The woman, 19-year-old Zeng Lin, mistook the semen for moisturizer, and began applying it to her face before noticing it smelled peculiar. When the girl discovered what it was, Lin called the police, and Gou Wen, 22, was forced to compensate her with £200 ($300 US). “I love her so much but she didn’t know it and I didn’t know how to tell her, so I did that thinking it was the ultimate way to show love,” Wen said. “Now I know I was wrong, but I will find another way.”

 

First things first. That’s the penalty for sending a girl a cum bucket? $300?? A) where does that number come from? B) How often does this happen that they have a fine for it? Next line of business is this guy loving this chick so much that he thinks sending her his bottled man goo is the best way of telling her. I give him credit for the original idea but maybe next time stick to a card or flowers. A bottle of baby batter might come off a little serial killer-ish. Fuckin Asians man…

Side note: Was I misinformed when I was told semen was actually good for the skin or is that just the kind of girls I’ve been dealing with?

 

The Giant Rat Problem In Iran Is Big Enough To Combat With Snipers

TEHRAN CLEANS UP DEAD RATS.

HuffPost: Although Tehran has had a decades-long struggle with rats, its rodent problem seems to have grown to epic proportions as of late. Giant rats that have been flushed out of their nests by melting snow are the focus of a renewed extermination effort in the Iranian capital, according to several reports. Some of the rodents reportedly weigh as much as 11 pounds. The International Business Times quoted Tehran city council environment adviser Ismail Kahram, who told Iranian news website Qudsonline.ir that the rats “seem to have had a genetic mutation, probably as a result of radiations and the chemical used on them.” “They are now bigger and look different. These are changes that normally take millions of years of evolution. They have jumped from 60 grams to five kilos, and cats are now smaller than them,” Kahram said, according to the outlet. Regardless of size, Tehran is reportedly ramping up its response to the rodents. Apparently a team of army snipers is now hunting the rats by night, using rifles equipped with infrared scopes. IBT reported that 2,205 rats have been killed so far. It’s like a warped bonus round of “Big Buck Hunter,” except the only ones scoring points off this emergency are the media. The Times of Israel made a “Princess Bride” reference in its coverage about the rats, whereas the Times of London took aim at Tehran’s “experience when it comes to [exterminating]… its political opponents.” Whether Tehran’s rats are mutated or not, some scientists have reported that certain rat populations are becoming resistant to poison. In 2012, a researchers in Britain published findings that estimated 75 percent of rats in West England were resistant to rodenticide.

 

Remember the story of that huge NYC rat a while back? And that just turned out to be someone’s pet. When the rats get big enough to warrant a sniper team, it’s time to test the water in Iran. But imagine this shit in NYC? Your leaving a bar and a rat the size of a bear cub comes running down the street and all the sudden gets sniped in the head by Seal Team 6? Just another thing people would have to worry about late night in the Big Apple–subway muggers, cannibal cops, and a fuckin real life Splinter.

 

Splinter-ooze