Little Michael just killin it in the subway! This is Michael Jackson’s dream right here. An impersonator who looks the part and is the size of a child. MJ’s wood just shot through the top of his casket. Have a good weekend and be safe!
NYC To Shut Down ALL Mass Transit!
NEW YORK (AP) — New York City officials say they’re preparing for the total shutdown of the nation’s largest mass transit system.
Mayor Michael Bloomberg says officials expect to shut down the city’s entire transit system at some point Saturday afternoon ahead of the arrival of Hurricane Irene, which is now forecasted to strike eastern Queens. He says service likely won’t be available again until sometime Monday or perhaps later.
Metropolitan Transportation Authority Chairman Jay Walder says that the system can’t be safely operated with sustained winds of 39 mph or more. He says it will take at least eight hours to move all MTA equipment from low-lying storage areas and secure trains in protected areas, including in the system’s underground tunnels.
Bloomberg is urging residents of the city’s low-lying areas to begin evacuating tomorrow. He’ll decide whether to issue a formal evacuation order by 8 a.m.
Link: The Latest Hurricane Irene Maps, Forecasts
The Long Island Rail Road is reducing service in advance of Hurricane Irene touching down on Sunday.
The utility canceled some Friday trains to the East End and train equipment was being moved out of low-lying areas. All riders are being asked to take the storm into account when making plans. MTA officials say the rail road could be shut down entirely if the island is hit hard.
Suffolk County officials announced a voluntary evacuation of beach towns on western Fire Island on Thursday. They say that could become mandatory on Friday. Officials are asking ferry companies not to bring anyone to the island who doesn’t own a home there.
Campers at county parks are being asked to take a hike.
In Nassau County, residents on the Barrier Island on the south shore were told to prepare for evacuations unless the storm changes its track.
Emergency shelters are being set up around the island and residents are urged to pack kits with emergency supplies.
The Long Island Rail Road is reducing service in advance of the hurricane and officials say a total shutdown is possible.
Electric companies say they’re on high alert as Hurricane Irene heads our way.
Con Edison says extensive outages are possible as strong winds topple trees and power lines. Residents should stock up on batteries, flashlights and battery-operated radios.
Residents are urged not to touch any downed electrical wires, which can be dangerous. Other tips: if the power goes out, turn off lights and appliances to prevent an overload once it’s restored. If a utility line falls on your car while you’re in it, stay there and call for help.
Spokesman Chris Olert says officials are also keeping an eye on the steam system in Manhattan.
The Long Island Power Authority says it has hired 900 extra workers to deal with the storm.
Mayor Michael Bloomberg has ordered nursing, senior homes and hospitals in Zone A low-lying areas to evacuate beginning Friday. He asked these facilities and hospitals to coordinate evacuation efforts with health officials.
The mayor at a press conference Thursday said Hurricane Irene appears to be heading toward eastern Queens, New York.
Bloomberg says shelters will open for residents at 4 p.m. Friday. He also announced that the emergency command center had been activated.
Link: City-by-City Forecasts
The mayor also revoked all permits for outdoor events on Sunday. Permits for Saturday events in the Zone A areas must end by 2 p.m.
Zone A neighborhoods include coastal areas such as Battery Park City in lower Manhattan, Coney Island in Brooklyn and Far Rockaway in Queens.
City residents can look up their zone at www.nyc.gov.
Suffolk County Executive Steve Levy and other elected officials are asking for voluntary evacuations of beach communities on western Fire Island.
They’re monitoring the weather to determine whether to call for a mandatory evacuation early Friday.
People can only get to and from the barrier beach communities by ferry.
Can Blacks Really Be Racist Towards Whites?
I’ve always wondered this. I don’t think I’ve ever been offended by one racist comment ever. In all honesty, is there anything that REALLY offends white people? Cracker, Honky, White Bread, Cornbread? It just doesn’t bother me. I’m listening to this guy and I actually thought it was the funniest shit ever. I’ve witnessed the Black Panthers in Times Square and I thought it was more interesting than anything else. Now I’m far from religious but even I know this guy is clearly making shit up from the Bible. “Because the white man will not put up a black Jesus Christ at the White House, God made him–all white people homosexual.” I lived on the border of Hells Kitchen and Chelsea last year and I’ll tell you, I probably would’ve believed this guy if I never left the area. Neighborhood was as flaming as Hell itself. But come on man, ALL white men? There IS one point he made that I cannot say shit about. “All Negros are holy and sanctified. That’s why you can’t play basketball with them. They can beat you and laugh at you.” Got me there buddy. I got nothing.
He then goes on to ask “Do I have any questions?” Holy shit, how does nobody ask this guy anything?! I woulda been raising my hand like back in the 2nd grade when you actually used your other hand to try and make your hand go up even farther saying “Oh, oh, oh!” Instigating these kinds of people is what I live for. I would’ve turned that train into a White House press conference. “So sir, where do you get your facts?” “Is that bucket also what you shit and piss in?” “What are your thoughts on Casey Anthony?” I mean shit people. He gave you a golden opportunity and you all blew it! Preach on my friend, preach on!
Side note: Is that a spear he’s holding? Just wondering…
‘Come On Irene!’ NY Get Ready, This Bitch is Cummin’
So with Hurricane Irene PMSing up the east coast, the media has taken it in their liberty to scare the hell out of everyone from Florida to Maine. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be worried or prepared but they are making it sound like the Apocalypse is coming. One of the stories being reported is the ‘perfect storm’ theory in that if Irene hits exactly when high tide does, there could be an 8 foot storm surge. If this is the case, the subways will most definitely flood which will disable half of NYs transportation. Most states have already put emergency plans in motion and/or declared a state of emergency. Mayor Bloomberg released this statement today: “Do not swim.” Thanks Mike. We’ll stay out of the water until Irene passes but if all goes as the media is telling us, we won’t have much of a choice because Manhattan will turn into Waterworld. I’d say the chances Irene pops a squat on NYC this weekend are slim. Will we get rain? Yes. Will it be windy? Yes. Will the levees break and people need to get rescued from building tops and FEMA come in to save the day and terrible Nic Cage movies get made a year later? I hope not but if so, then may God help us all!
Oh and to cover my ass, if it does flood, here is a map of those of you who will die:
Black Man Angry at Subway
I know this clip isn’t about the “real” subway, but it’s still what I consider a “subway creature.” How can I not post this?! This made my morning! “Look at my breasts! Do they look firm to you?!” Enjoy…
Who Is To Blame?
Where to even start with this shit. First of all, multiple people break Rule #1 and by breaking rule #1, look at what happens. Subway gold! Now chica here is far from innocent and I have no idea why anyone is standing up for her, but change cars if you don’t want to listen to her babbling. If people reacted this way in the NYC subway all the time it would look like Wrestle Mania. I’m talking chairs, tag teams, illegal weapons, and fatalities. Oh, you’re singing to god lady? Well look at where that got you. Two dudes are swinging at each other, you’re being thrown off the train, and everyone on the subway is now choosing sides in the fight. This is the classic case of when foreigners try to act like they don’t speak English and when shit doesn’t go their way, they learn Rosetta Stone in 2 seconds. Don’t sit there and try to proclaim your innocence!
Question. Did anyone predict that Asian to come out swinging like that? He totally caught me off guard and I’m pretty sure that guy as well. Who is to blame here?
Creeper With A Camera
Keep’em coming people…
Asshole Gives Play-By-Play While Drunk Bleeds On Tracks
So here’s the story. This guy was wasted in the subway and began pissing off the platform when he lost his balance and landed head first on the rail. Drunk and semi unconscious, these 3 bystanders did NOTHING to help him. I’ll say right off the bat, not for the faint of heart. Now a survey came out not too long ago saying that New Yorkers were the most likely to take action if they saw something happen or had to save someone. So much for that. This asshole just stands there and watches as his girlfriend cries and this very, very, very, very intoxicated guy bleeds all over the subway. The dick, however, DID have the decency to give play-by-play and film at the same time. “Yo, you alright man?” Does he look alright?! He’s a pillow away from a good night’s sleep. Bleeding from the ears and barely moving and you’re going to ask him if he’s alright? “Yo, real time. This is how niggas do. 13 minutes til the next L train comes.” Oh great! So now we have a countdown going until this video turns into a “Faces of Death.”
I’m not going to analyze all 3 of these videos because I apparently have earthquakes to deal with in NY, but I hope Roofio here understands that karma is a bitch and when he falls onto the tracks and reaches up for help, I’ll be standing there with my middle finger out. When this kid sobers up in a week, he better name his first child after that MTA employee. He is the REAL hero and had to take care of the situation on his own thanks to these clown dicks. If those assholes even TRY to take credit for being heroes, I might have to track them down.
On a side-note, what is the policy on Asians using “nigga”? Has it now come down to Whites being the only ones who can’t say that?
Japanese People Love Getting Stuffed On Their Subway
So some of you may have seen this before. I know it looks like the 6 train during rush hour on a Monday morning but this is actually  the daily commute in Japan. They actually have workers whose job it is to pack these trains as tight as they possibly can. I’m claustrophobic as all hell and it was hard to watch these videos. Can’t even imagine what it’s like in there. I think I’ll wait for the next one guys, thanks! People just nose to nose breathing all over each other. And what happens when they get to the next station and those doors open? It must be like those little fake cans of peanuts that have the spring inside them. BAM! Just people all over the platform.
It would be a pretty cool job to have though. I would line up like a D-line man and just bull rush that door. Yea people might get hurt but hey, that’s the risk you take by riding the Japanese subway. And why don’t they have Sumo wrestlers doing this? Wouldn’t that help speed the process up a little? It looks like they pick the smallest assholes around to pack these trains. Just think about these poor fucks next time you’re whining that you’re packed on a train and maybe you’ll have a new appreciation.
I Wanna Hang Out With This Guy!
She’s a maniac, mannnniac on the floor. And she’s dancing like she’s never danced–lean back! lean back! My man just went from Michael Sembello to Fat Joe in less than 2 seconds. He’s mixing songs like he’s got two turntables and a crowd of thousands in front of himself. How is no one paying this dude attention!? I 100% understand how he has all that money in his pocket because I would probably give him everything I had on me including my girlfriend. Not really sure what he’s saving up for but he’s the happiest man on the train and probably has the least amount to be happy about. That’s life for ya! Anyway, it’s Friday and this guy is the perfect way to start the weekend. Have a good one everyone!
SubwayCreatures 